Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
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The Editing Blog: for Editors, Proofreaders and Writers

FOR EDITORS, PROOFREADERS AND WRITERS

I want to become a fiction editor. What do I need to know?

11/1/2021

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If you're wondering whether fiction editing is for you, read this free 35-page guide to help you decide whether you're a good fit.

It's called Becoming a Fiction Editor and it's packed with information that will help you decide whether to take the plunge.
Becoming a Fiction Editor

What will you learn about fiction editing?

You'll discover why it's different from non-fiction editing and how to ensure you're ready to serve those who write fiction.
​
>  Preparing for a fiction editing career
>  Types of fiction editing
>  Fiction editing training
>  Working with indie authors
>  Working with publishers
>  Being a visible fiction editor
>  Is fiction editing right for you?
>  A selection of free fiction editing resources

I hope you enjoy it! And don't forget to 
visit the Editor Resources page for lots more free advice, templates and booklets and webinars. ​
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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Writing screenplays and novels: With Rich Leder

1/1/2021

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to Rich Leder about writing screenplays and novels. Rich has worked with some of the biggest names in the movie industry. He shares what he's learned about Hollywood, TV and novel craft.
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​Listen to find out more about
  • The differences between writing a screenplay and novel from scratch
  • Cooking for Cannibals: Being edited and receiving feedback
  • Converting film to novel, or novel to film
  • Primal, and why Nicolas Cage makes the perfect Frank Walsh
  • Stage direction during the screenplay-writing stage
  • Character descriptions, noise and environment, and writing a screenplay
  • How does the editing process differ for screenplays and novels?
  • How much is the author involved in the making of the movie?
  • How long does it take to get a movie made? From treatment to option to production
  • Impactful career moments, including how working with Sidney Poitier changed his life

About Rich Leder
Rich has been a working writer for more than three decades. His credits include 19 produced movies—television films for CBS, Lifetime, and Hallmark and feature films for Lionsgate, Paramount Pictures, Tri-Star Pictures, Longridge Productions, and Left Bank Films—and six novels for Laugh Riot Press.

He’s been the lead singer in a Detroit rock band, a restaurateur, a Little League coach, an indie film director, a literacy tutor, a magazine editor, a screenwriting coach, a wedding guru, a PTA board member, a commercial real estate agent, and a visiting artist for the UNCW Film Studies Department, among other things, all of which, it turns out, was grist for the mill.

He resides on the North Carolina coast with his awesome wife, Lulu, and is sustained by the visits home of their three fabulous children. 
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  • Website 
  • Amazon 
  • Good Reads
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pre-order Cooking for Cannibals here
​
Music Credit
'Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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Editing short-form content

21/12/2020

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk about editing short-form content such as newsletters, letters, blog posts, short stories, essays and reports.
Editing short-form content
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Listen to find out more about
  • The different types of content that fall into the short-form category
  • The benefits and challenges of short-form content editing
  • Advice on the remit: client expectations, the brief, ethical issues and practical responsibilities
  • Consistency and style
  • Scheduling issues
  • Pricing
  • Marketing​
​
Music Credit
'Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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Accountability groups for editors and proofreaders

14/12/2020

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk about accountability groups, and how they can help editors and other freelance editorial professionals emotionally and practically.
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Listen to find out more about
  • Taking plans beyond the planning stage
  • How an accountability group can help you
  • How you set one up.
  • How many people to include in a group
  • How often an accountability group meets
  • Online or in-person works
  • How long a meeting should be
  • What tools are useful
  • What you might contribute
  • Accountability and what can go wrong​
​
Music Credit
'Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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Sensitivity reading: Tips from editor Crystal Shelley

7/12/2020

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to editor Crystal Shelley about sensitivity reading.
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​Listen to find out more about
  • What is sensitivity reading?
  • What types of topics do people read for?
  • What does the sensitivity reading process look like?
  • Why should an author hire a sensitivity reader?
  • What type of feedback does a sensitivity reader give?
  • How does someone become a sensitivity reader?
  • Some authors are hesitant to work with a sensitivity reader because there's concern about censorship or having books pulled. How do you address those concerns?
  • Is sensitivity reading only useful for fiction? 
  • How do authors find sensitivity readers?

Discover more about Crystal at Rabbit with a Red Pen.

Mentioned in the show
  • Find a sensitivity reader: Binders for Sensitivity Readers
  • Conscious Style Guide
  • Editors of Color
​
Music Credit
'Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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The Editing Podcast: 3 ways to tackle editorial marketing overwhelm

30/11/2020

1 Comment

 
The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle discuss marketing for editors and proofreaders, and offer 3 tips on how to overcome the fear.
3 ways to tackle editorial marketing overwhelm

Listen to find out more about
  • Giving yourself permission to be an imperfect marketer
  • Concentrating on your own marketing rather than comparing yourself with everyone else
  • Following your own path and developing a strategy that’s appropriate for you, even if other people are doing things differently

Dig into these related resources
  • Book: Marketing Your Editing and Proofreading Business
  • Books: Business Skills for Editors series
  • Blog and booklet: Overcoming marketing paralysis: How to turn overwhelm into action
  • Podcast collection: Editorial business tips​
  • Blog: 2 business mindset tips for new editors​
  • Blog: Why you MUST market your editorial business. Part I
  • Blog: Why you MUST market your editorial business. Part II

Music Credit
‘Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
1 Comment

Creative writing tips: With thriller writer Andy Maslen

23/11/2020

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to thriller writer Andy Maslen about the creative-writing process.
Creative writing tips: With thriller writer Andy Maslen
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​Listen to find out more about
  • Writing a series vs standalone novels
  • Tips on developing a coherent series
  • Starting afresh with a new set of characters in a new environment
  • Top creative-writing tips for beginner author
  • Recommended writing-craft resources
  • Back-cover blurb and Amazon blurbs
  • Cover design

Here's where you can find out more about Andy Maslen's thrillers.

Dig into these related resources
  • Author resources
  • Book: Editing Fiction at Sentence Level
  • Blog post: 3 reasons to use free indirect speech in your crime fiction
  • Blog post: Crime fiction subgenres: Where does your novel fit?
  • Blog post: How to write dialogue that pops
  • Blog post: Playing with sentence length in crime fiction. Is it time to trim the fat?
  • Blog post: Writing a crime novel – should you plan or go with the flow?​
  • Podcast episodes: The indie author collection​

​Music Credit
‘Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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The Editing Podcast: From the printed page to audio book: With author David Unger

16/11/2020

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to author David Unger about transforming a novel from print to audio.
From the printed page to audio book: With author David Unger

​Listen to find out more about
  • Doing your own narration vs hiring a pro
  • How to find a professional voice artist
  • Which qualities are important
  • The process of working with a professional narrator
  • Obstacles to creating audio books
  • Costs and time frame

Here's where you can find out more about David Unger's books.

Dig into these related resources
  • Author resources
  • Book: Editing Fiction at Sentence Level
  • The Editing Podcast: 6 ways to use audio for book promotion
  • ​Booklet: How to narrate your own audio book
  • Podcast episodes: The indie author collection
  • Blog post: Why editors and proofreaders should be using audio
  • Blog post: 5 ways to use audio for book marketing and reader engagement
  • Blog post: How to go mobile with audio: Book-editor podcasting on the go

Music Credit
‘Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/​
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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The Editing Podcast: Story creation and revision. With mystery writer David Unger

9/11/2020

0 Comments

 
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, ​Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to mystery writer David Unger about story creation and revision.
Story creation and revision: With author David Unger

​Listen to find out more about
  • What made David want to start writing and who inspired him
  • Writing an alter ego
  • The revision process
  • On being edited

Here's where you can find out more about David Unger's books.

Dig into these related resources
  • Author resources
  • Book: Editing Fiction at Sentence Level
  • Blog post: 3 reasons to use free indirect speech in your crime fiction
  • Blog post: Crime fiction subgenres: Where does your novel fit?
  • Blog post: How to write dialogue that pops
  • Blog post: Playing with sentence length in crime fiction. Is it time to trim the fat?
  • Blog post: Writing a crime novel – should you plan or go with the flow?​
  • Podcast episodes: The indie author collection

Music Credit
‘Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/​
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
0 Comments

The Editing Podcast: Zombie rules we can do without, part 1

2/11/2020

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In this episode of The Editing Podcast, ​Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk about zombie rules, and why they have no place in a professional editor's toolbox.
Zombie rules we can do without, part 1
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Listen to find out more about
  • What a zombie rule is
  • Why split infinitives are not grammatically problematic
  • Why it's okay to start a sentence with a conjunction

Dig into these related resources
  • Blog post: Fiction grammar: Is it okay to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’?
  • Blog post: What are expletives in the grammar of fiction?
  • Blog post: Should I use a comma before coordinating conjunctions and independent clauses in fiction?
  • Podcast: How to manage the grammar police
  • Resources for proofreading your own writing
  • Podcast: Linguist Rob Drummond on grammar pedantry, peevery and youth language
  • Blog post: What's the difference between a rule and a preference? Advice for new writers

Music Credit
‘Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/​
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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The Editing Podcast: ​Why editors and proofreaders should use audio

25/10/2020

0 Comments

 
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, ​Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk about why audio is such a great medium for editors who want to build brand trust and grow their businesses
Why editors and proofreaders should use audio

​Listen to find out more about
  • The popularity of audio content
  • Stability during playback
  • Native hosting on websites
  • Voices as unique brand identifiers and trust builders
  • Audio as an accessibility tool that allows communication with a diverse audience
  • Why it's a less intimidating option than video
  • The kit you need
  • Options for recording, editing and hosting
  • Editorial goals, and how audio helps us achieve them

Dig into these related resources
  • The blog version: Why editors and proofreaders should be using audio
  • Free booklet: How do I do my own audio-book narration?
  • Podcast: 6 ways to use audio for book promotion
  • Blog: 4 good reasons to edit your author podcast transcript

Music Credit
‘Vivacity’ Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/​
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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2 business mindset tips for new editors

19/10/2020

3 Comments

 
Is your editing or proofreading business new? Here are two mindset tips that will help you frame every action you take in terms of multiple goals, and stay positive while you’re waiting for the fruits of your labour to ripen.
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Linear vs holistic thinking: Beyond the to-do list
I love a list! Recording the stuff I need to do helps me organize my thoughts. It also steers me away from procrastination and towards action.

What follows is therefore by no means a call for the abandonment of the to-do list. New starters and old hands alike can benefit from a list of actionable points.

Caution is required though. The to-do list does have the potential to encourage linear thinking, and this can be a hindrance when it comes to the business of editing and proofreading.

Linear thinking can lead us down a road of focusing too heavily on one part of our business in the belief that if we get X just right, everything else will fall into place, or that X is more important than Y and therefore must be completed in full before Y is considered.

Holistic thinking, however, recognizes that X impacts on Y, which impacts on Z, and that – together – X, Y and Z drive success.

Let’s look at what this means for our business practices.
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A simplified example
Shami is in the process of setting up an editing business. She’s completed a comprehensive training course followed by mentoring. She’s confident in her skills and believes she’s fit for purpose. And she is – from a technical point of view.

However, there’s a potential problem. She’s been so focused on her training that she’s not spent any time considering how she’ll make herself visible to paying clients.

Training was at the top of her list – and while this is certainly no bad thing to be at the top of any freelance business owner’s list, focusing on it alone won’t bring in paying work.

Shami's business to-do list
Shami’s to-do list looks like this:
  1. Training – take courses and follow up with mentoring
  2. Equipment – buy relevant hardware and software
  3. Networking – join an editing society, set up social media accounts, attend conferences
  4. Brand awareness – choose a business name, develop a brand identity, create appropriate visuals etc.
  5. Launch – register business, inform tax authorities, set up bank account, take out relevant insurance policies
  6. Visibility – create website, business cards, leaflets; advertise in directories; buy a custom domain name and email address
  7. Pricing – create a fee matrix for different client types
  8. Templates – design letterhead, invoices, email signature, postage labels, reports, etc.
  9. Schedule – create work schedule to track jobs, payments, time, etc.
  10. Business resources – create business-critical resources such as terms and conditions, process documents, contract of services
  11. Client acquisition – approach potential clients and pitch for work
  12. Learning centre – develop additional resources that solve clients’ problems
​Shami could do one thing at a time, and tick all those jobs off as she goes. But might she benefit from looking at her editing business in a different way?
​
An alternative view: The business wheel
What if, instead, Shami visualized her business as a wheel rather than a list?
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The list and the wheel address the same issues, but the wheel helps Shami to visualize her business holistically; it shows her the interconnectedness of the various elements.

Let’s consider her training in relation to other aspects of business development.
Training and visibility
  • Training provides her with skills. But it’s also a valuable message that she could use in her promotion materials to certain types of clients (publishers, for example) and that will make her more interesting to them.
​
Training and the learning centre
  • Shami should certainly include her qualifications on her website, but an even more effective way to show rather than tell her knowledge is to use what she’s learned via her training to create content that solves problems for her potential clients.
  • Solution-based webpages – ones that could only have been written by someone who’s made time for professional training – have powerful SEO benefits that will enhance her visibility. She can also expand her learning centre with this content.

Training and client acquisition
  • Her training programme has also instilled in her a desire to provide editing work of the highest quality, and these high standards mean those new clients who discover her will be more likely to retain her and recommend her.
  • In the longer term, this means a more consistent work flow and income stream that will give her greater choice as to the work she accepts and the prices she can charge.
  • Training is therefore assisting her with client acquisition and retention.

Training and membership upgrades
  • Training contributes heavily towards Shami’s application for a higher-level tier of membership in her national editorial society.
  • This membership tier will provide her with the right to take an entry in its online directory. She can link her new website to this directory.
  • That helps her with professional credibility, brand awareness and visibility.

Training and credibility
  • The training organization she worked with might be interested in her contributing to their blog. She could share her experiences of starting her business.
  • This will add to her professional credibility, and provide her with an opportunity to create inbound and outbound links between her website and the training organization’s website.
  • That helps her with professional credibility, brand awareness and visibility. If she repurposes the blog content as a booklet, she can add it to the bank of content in her learning centre.

​Training and network-building
  • The organization has a large following on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. It will share her guest article with its followers. Some of them will link with Shami, thus expanding her professional community.
  • That ticks her training, brand awareness, networking and visibility boxes.

Other ways to use the business-wheel mindset
I could go on, but you get the point. Training isn’t something you do before marketing. Rather, it’s connected to marketing. They are but two spokes on a wheel, and they link the hub (the business) to the rim (clients and colleagues).

Training gives substance to the marketing message. Marketing generates visibility and, therefore, new clients. New clients become regular clients because of the standards embedded by training. And up and down the spokes and round the rim we go.
​
We might carry out a similar exercise when considering the links between pricing, an accounting schedule and stationery; or resource creation and business promotion; or brand awareness, accounting and stationery.
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Taking the long view
Developing a successful editing business doesn’t happen overnight. No matter how good our skills, how creative our marketing, how professional our practice, it takes time.
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  • Time to rank in the search engines
  • Time to become so discoverable that we’re never without work offers
  • Time to build a wait-list
  • Time to fill that wait-list with people who trust our skills and judgment, return to us time and again, and pay our price

And, even then, we can’t sit on our heels because our industry, broad as it is, is always changing.

  • The technical skills our clients wanted five years ago might not be what they want next year
  • The fees our clients were paying five years ago may not be what they’re paying this year (we might even be worse off in real terms).
  • The types of clients hiring us five years ago might have become more varied (consider the expansion of the self-publishing market over the years).
  • The software or hardware we used five years ago might no longer be fit for the purpose or compatible with what our current potential clients are using and expect us to use.
  • Two companies we worked for five years ago might merge tomorrow; or one might acquire the another. This could reduce the number of editorial freelancers hired, and we could end up on the cut list.
  • The publisher we work with directly today might outsource its proofreading and editing to a packager in two years’ time. That could affect the rate we’re paid and the security of our freelancing relationship.

Moving from entitlement to investment
This means that, as business owners, we need to be keeping our ear to the ground so that change is something we embrace, not resent, and something we view as providing opportunity, not marginalization.

When we own our own businesses, we don’t have the luxury of spending time on blaming a lack of success on others who are now doing things in ways that don’t suit us.

When we own our own businesses, we’re not entitled to be paid X by a publisher whose profit margins are being squeezed its own customers. Nor are we entitled to work on paper because that’s the way we prefer it. For example, most independent authors want us to work in Word or on PDF.

Instead, we have to invest in what makes us interesting and discoverable to those we want to work for and who will pay us what we want/need to earn if our businesses are to be profitable.

Whether that means acquiring new skills, learning how to use new tools, changing the way we do our tax returns, targeting new client types, replacing old equipment, or testing and evaluating new and innovative marketing activities that increase customer engagement, the responsibility lies with us, and us alone.
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Time and hard work are part of the deal
We might not see the fruits of our labour for months. None of us can say how long it will take for an individual’s marketing strategy to put them on pages 1–3 of Google. And that’s okay. It’s normal for it not to happen overnight.

None of us can predict whether a favourite publisher client will merge with another press and freeze its freelance rates.

None of us can know whether the skill we learned in 2008 will still be relevant in 2025. When I first started proofreading back in 2006, I was working almost exclusively on paper. At the time of writing in 2020, I edit exclusively in Word.

What we can be sure of is that there are no shortcuts – building an editorial business takes time, effort, and not a little courage because there will be times when we’re pushed out of our comfort zone.

Taking the short view leads to disappointment, frustration and stagnancy:

  • Disappointment that the creation of a website alone didn’t generate fifty new leads a month
  • Frustration because the client we’ve worked for solidly for six years is now squeezing 200 additional words on a page but still paying us for the same page rate
  • Stagnancy because we didn’t keep up to date with new developments and are no longer able to compete with colleagues who are providing a service that we consider unusual but that they consider run-of-the-mill

Embracing that longer timeframe means we’re less likely to feel deflated when our hard work doesn’t give us immediate results. Instead we could do the following:
  • Commit to tracking our webpage metrics and thinking of ways to more ideal clients to our site
  • Work regularly on finding new clients so we feel comfortable with ditching the word-count squeezer
  • Make technical skills development a part of normal business practice

Summing up
If you’re the type of person who’s capable of looking at a list without feeling compelled to move through it only from top to bottom, go for it. List away!

However, if you think that your to-do list is leading you into a mode of thinking that ignores the connections between the various aspects of running your business, try redrawing it as a wheel.

It may be just the ticket to seeing your editing or proofreading business in a whole new interconnected light – and focusing your energy accordingly.

And it's okay to set a realistic time frame for getting your editorial business to where you want it to be. The hard work we put in at the beginning doesn’t necessarily generate immediate results. Taking the long view means we give our efforts space to breathe.
​
[An older version of this article first appeared on An American Editor.]
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
​
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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Why editors and proofreaders should be using audio

12/10/2020

2 Comments

 
Audio content has never been more popular. Publishers recognize this; so do independent authors. Here’s a list of tips and tools for freelance editors and proofreaders who’d like to introduce audio content into their business workflow and amplify their editorial voices – literally!
Why editors and proofreaders should be using audio
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5 advantages of audio
Here are my top 5 reasons why I think audio is a superb tool for the editor or proofreader who wants to use audio as a marketing and business tool.
  1. Audio takes up less bandwidth than video. It’s therefore more stable during recording and less likely to buffer during playback.
  2. Audio files are smaller than video. When hosted natively, they’re less likely to slow down our websites.
  3. Our voices are unique brand identifiers that give listeners a sense of who we are beyond the words we write and edit.
  4. Not everyone can see. Audio is therefore another accessibility tool that allows us to communicate with a diverse audience.
  5. No one will know if we’re creating it in our pyjamas. That makes it a less intimidating option for editors who want to make a personal connection but who fear video.
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2 pieces of kit
Contrary to what a lot of people think, you don't need a lot of expensive and difficult-to-use kit. Assuming you already have a computer, here's what you'll need to get hold of.
  1. Headset (mic and headphones). Something along the lines of Microsoft’s LifeChat series will likely suffice. I use the 6000, which retails for around $70.
  2. Courage. This is free though it can be hard to summon for the beginner!
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3 ways to record
Recording audio content needn't cost you a single penny. Here are three resources you can use. You might even have two of them already.
  1. Audacity: Free open-source recording and editing software.
  2. Zoom: Free online audio-conferencing platform.
  3. Skype: Free ​online audio-conferencing platform.
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3 ways to host
Here are three hosting options to consider. There's something for everyone – whether you want to keep your costs down while you experiment or you want to go full on in to audio content creation.
  1. Your website: Either upload the audio files (native hosting) or embed the source code from another platform.
  2. Specialist audio distribution platform: Paid options include Libsyn and Captivate. These are ideal for editors who are committed to regular broadcasting. SoundCloud offers three free hours of audio content.
  3. YouTube: Upload to your existing channel.
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6 ways editors can use audio
One of the reasons why I love audio is that it's versatile. If marketing makes you nervous, think of how you might use your voice as a business or educational tool. Below are six things you could try.
  1. To share knowledge: Editors who solve clients’ problems get attention and build trust. We can use audio to answer the questions they’re asking, just as we do in our blogs. We can even repurpose existing blog content in audio form.
  2. To welcome: Audio allows us to introduce ourselves to our website visitors using our unique voices — just like we’d do if we met someone on the street. It’s a personal and engaging way to say hello.
  3. To educate: What editors do is sometimes misunderstood and undervalued. We can use audio to explain what we do and how it will help potential clients, thereby raising the profile of the profession.
  4. To consolidate: A client who’s been staring at a screen all day might enjoy hearing our voice while we narrate an editorial report or critique.
  5. To promote: We can make our editorial businesses more visible by sharing our audio content on social media. As with GIFs and videos, it’s something a little different that gets us noticed.
  6. To assist: Do people stumble over how to pronounce your name? In July 2020, LinkedIn solved this problem with a new feature that allows users to upload short audio clips via its Android and iOS apps.
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5 ways to make audio interesting
Here are five ideas to help you add a cherry on your audio cake! None of them will cost you a bean!
  1. Use images: If you’re hosting the audio content on your website, link the file to an image that includes a headline explaining the nature of the content. Canva is your friend.
  2. Include a call to action: Website visitors are more likely to listen if you tell them to.
  3. Add music: Incompetech, for example, provides free snippets from a range of genres under creative commons licences. Just remember to credit.
  4. Include a transcript: even though audio is compelling, sometimes people want to read.
  5. Create video from audio: Use an app like Headliner to create audiograms that are animated with wave forms. Audiograms make your audio content more appealing to YouTube and social media audiences.
audio wave
Listen up! Audio content is now showing up in search engines. Editors and proofreaders who use it to solve problems and engage with clients and colleagues will increase awareness about themselves and the profession they love.

Fancy learning how to do this step by step? Me and my brilliant podcasting partner Denise Cowle are creating a course that will show you the way. It’s called The Audible Editor. Watch this space!

[An earlier version of this post was originally published on The Editors’ Weekly, the official blog of Canada’s national editorial association.]

Related marketing and audio resources
  • 5 ways to use audio for book marketing and reader engagement
  • Beyond editing qualifications: Gaining author trust
  • Branding for editors and proofreaders – beyond me-me-me
  • How to become a better editor while secretly promoting your business
  • How to go mobile with audio: Book-editor podcasting on the go
  • Marketing Your Editing and Proofreading Business
  • Overcoming marketing paralysis: How to turn overwhelm into action
  • The Editing Podcast
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
2 Comments

Fiction grammar: Is it okay to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’?

5/10/2020

2 Comments

 
Good news! It is perfectly okay to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’ in fiction writing. Doing so can enrich narration and dialogue, and inflect the prose with voice, mood and intention. The key is to make sure those conjunctions are being used purposefully and logically. This post shows you how.
Fiction grammar: Is it okay to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’?
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What the style guides say
Here's what two industry-recognized style guides have to say on the matter.

New Hart’s Rules (Oxford University Press): ‘You might have been taught that it’s not good English to start a sentence with a conjunction such as and or but. It’s not grammatically incorrect to do so, however, and many respected writers use conjunctions at the start of a sentence to create a dramatic or forceful effect.’

Chicago Manual of Style Online, 5.203 (Chicago University Press): ‘There is a widespread belief—one with no historical or grammatical foundation—that it is an error to begin a sentence with a conjunction such as and, but, or so. In fact, a substantial percentage (often as many as 10 percent) of the sentences in first-rate writing begin with conjunctions. It has been so for centuries, and even the most conservative grammarians have followed this practice.'

6 good reasons to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’
Great! We have the go-ahead from a couple of big hitters to use our two conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence. Now let’s dig a little deeper into why doing so can make fiction more effective. Here are my top six reasons:

  • To serve natural speech
  • To shorten narrative distance
  • To introduce tension and suspense
  • To add drama
  • To emphasize the unexpected
  • To make contrast explicit

Serving natural speech
When we speak in real life, conjunctions are often the first things out of our mouths. So it should be in novels that want to render speech authentically.

Fictional dialogue doesn’t replicate real-life speech completely – that would mean including a lot of boring stuff that one might hear at the bus stop. Rather, it’s a sort of hybrid that has the essence of reality but with the mundanity judiciously removed. It might sound like a cheat but readers thank authors who don’t bore them!

Small nudges towards reality help with the authenticity goal, which is where our conjunctions come in handy. Here are a few examples for you:
     ‘And you will have no hesitation in doing what has to be done? You have no doubts?’ (At Risk, Stella Rimington, p. 187)
 
     ‘And where’s he getting the money from? You know the situation as well as I do. He isn’t on leave of absence from a university.’ (The Dream Archipelago, Christopher Priest, p. 227)
 
     ​“But your way makes more sense. So you think Maura was working with Rex?”
     “I do.”
     “Doesn’t mean she didn’t set Rex up.”
     “Right.”
     “But if she wasn’t involved in the murder, where is she now?” (Don’t Let Go, Harlan Coben, p. 76)
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Shortening narrative distance
Dialogue gives us the character’s speech; narrative gives us the character’s experience. When that’s a first-person narrative, it’s easy to feel close to the narrator. With a third-person narration, the reader can feel separated from the character, as if they’re on the outside looking in.

Authors who want to reduce that space between the reader and the character – called narrative distance or psychic distance – can experiment with a narration style that sounds like natural speech even though it’s not dialogue.
​
Here’s a lovely example from Blake Crouch’s Recursion (p. 182). 
     There's a part of him that wants to run down there, charge through, and shoot every fucking person he sees inside that hotel, ending with the man who put him in the chair. Meghan’s brain broke because of him. She is dead because of him. Hotel Memory needs to end.
     But that would most likely only get him killed.
     ​No, he'll call Gwen instead, propose an off-the-books, under-the-radar op with a handful of SWAT colleagues. If she insists, he'll take an affidavit to a judge.
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Notice how the narration style is third person, though it doesn’t feel like it. Instead, we’re right inside the viewpoint character’s head.
​
The position of the conjunction in this example isn’t the sole reason why the narrative distance feels short – the free indirect speech above and beneath plays a huge part – but it certainly helps to give us a sense of the character’s mentally working out a problem.

Introducing tension and suspense
Take a look at this excerpt from p. 21 of The Matlock Paper by Robert Ludlum.
     Matlock walked to the small, rectangular window with the wire-enclosed glass. The police station was at the south end of the town of Carlyle, about a half a mile from the campus, the section of town considered industrialized. Still, there were trees along the streets. Carlyle was a very clean town, a neat town. The trees by the station house were pruned and shaped.
     And Carlyle was also something else. 
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With that one word – the conjunction – Ludlum stops us in our tracks. Yes, we’re thinking, the town’s neat, it’s clean. All well and good. But then we realize that there’s more to it, for beneath the pruned trees lies a dark underbelly.

The ‘And’, positioned right up front, forces us to pay attention to it. It’s not any old conjunction. Rather, it’s loaded with suspense that drives the reader to ask a question that isn’t explicitly answered: What else is that ‘something’?

Adding drama and modifying rhythm
In this excerpt from Parting Shot (p. 433), the author uses the conjunction at the beginning of the sentence to inject drama into a scene.

The new line makes the rhythm of the prose more staccato, but the ‘And’ at the beginning of the final line is what really packs a punch.

The viewpoint character, Cory, is a killer. He ponders almost matter-of-factly who the threats are, and reaches his conclusion as he closes in on the cabin.
     Dolly Guntner certainly wasn't in a position to say anything bad about him.
     Which left Carol Beakman. Carol had seen him. And while she didn't actually see him kill Dolly, if the police ever spoke with her, she'd be able to tell them it couldn't have been anyone else but him.
     As far as Cory could figure, the only living witness to his crimes was Carol Beakman.
     He was nearly back to the cabin.
     It seemed clear what he had to do.
     ​And he'd have to do it fast. 
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If Linwood Barclay had omitted the conjunction, he’d have introduced a separation between two ideas: realizing what needs to be done, and when the killer is going to do it. Yet these two ideas are very much connected. The ‘And’ therefore fulfils its purpose as a conjunction – a joining word.

But there’s more. If he’d run the two ideas together with a conjunction between (‘It seemed clear what he had to do, and he'd have to do it fast.’), the line would have lost its wallop. The staccato rhythm (one that mirrors the cold calculation taking place in Cory’s head) is gone. Instead, the prose has flatlined; it seems almost mundane, like a stroll in the park rather than the planning of a murder.

However, the ‘And’ reinforces this extra information – the deed must be done fast. The emphasis adds drama to the line. The final line is still connected to the clause it’s related to, but the mood-rich rhythm, and the drama that comes with it, is intact.

Emphasizing the unexpected
An up-front ‘But’ is perfect for the author who want to emphasize the unexpected, surprise or absurdity. Take a look at this excerpt from Terry Pratchett’s Dodger (p. 170).
    The boy said, 'I don't quite know exactly where Mister Charlie will be right now, but you could always ask the peelers.' He smiled. 'You can be sure that there will be a lot of them about.'
     Ask a peeler! Dodger? But surely that was the old Dodger saying that, he thought.
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It’s true that omitting the ‘But’ would leave the meaning intact. However, adding the conjunction reinforces the Dodger’s emotional response to the boy’s suggestion – he’s taken by surprise because in times past, asking a peeler was exactly what he’d have done, without question, without fear.

And so that ‘But’ does more than act as a conjunction. With just three letters, we’re shown character mood.

Making contrast explicit and suspenseful
David Rosenfelt’s New Tricks (p. 92) includes a smashing example how the conjunction at the beginning of the sentence reinforces a contrast with what’s gone before.
      I won't be able to place this in any kind of context until I go through everything Sam has brought, though he says he didn't see a reply to Jacoby's questions. Certainly the fact that a man who was soon to be a murder victim experimenting in any way with his own DNA is at least curious, and something for me to look into carefully if I stay on the case.
     But a nurse comes in and asks me to quickly come to Laurie's room, so right now everything else is going to have to wait. 
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That contrast is explicit because the ‘But’ acts as an interrupter. We’re deep in the POV character’s head regarding the murder victim, ruminating with our protagonist. The conjunction then shoves us out of that rumination. It’s not gentle; the ‘But’ is a big one – something’s up with Laurie.

Not that we know what. Rosenfelt doesn’t tell us yet. Instead, he makes us ask the question: Why? And with that question, just as with the Ludlum example above, we have suspense.

Summing up
Feel free to pepper your prose with sentences that begin with ‘And’ and ‘But’. Anyone who tells you you’re on shaky ground grammatically knows less about grammar than you do!

It’s likely that the myth around positioning these conjunctions came about in a bid to nudge people away from stringing together clauses and sentences with no thought to creativity. And while such an intention makes sense, we have to recognize that imposing this zombie rule on writing can actually destroy the magic of prose.

And on that note, I will sign off! (See what I did there?)

More fiction editing guidance
  • 3 reasons to use free indirect speech
  • Author resources library: Booklets, videos, podcasts and articles for authors
  • Commas, conjunctions and rhythm
  • Coordinating conjunctions
  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level: My flagship line-editing book
  • How to write suspenseful chapter endings
  • Rules versus preferences
  • Sentence length, pace and tension
  • Switching to Fiction: Course for new fiction editors
  • Transform Your Fiction guides: My fiction editing series for editors and authors

Cited sources
  • At Risk, Stella Rimington, Arrow Books, 2004
  • Don’t Let Go, Harlan Coben, Arrow Books, 2017
  • Dodger, Terry Pratchett, Corgi, 2012
  • Recursion, Blake Crouch, Pan Macmillan, 2019
  • The Matlock Paper, Robert Ludlum, Orion, 2010
  • The Dream Archipelago, Christopher Priest, Gollancz, 2009
  • Parting Shot, Linwood Barclay, Orion, 2017
  • New Tricks, David Rosenfelt, Grand Central Publishing, 2009
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
2 Comments

What are expletives in the grammar of fiction?

21/9/2020

2 Comments

 
Want to use grammatical expletives in your fiction? These words serve as place holders or fillers in a sentence. They shift emphasis and can affect rhythm. Used injudiciously, however, they can be cluttering tension-wreckers. Here's how to strike a balance.
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Because expletives shift emphasis, they have a syntactic function. However, they don’t in themselves contribute anything to our understanding of the sentence. In other words, they don't have a semantic role. You might also see them called syntactic expletives.

Common examples are:

  • there are/is/was/were
  • it is/was

Take a look at the following pair. The first sentence is introduced by an expletive.
​
  • There was a car parked outside the house.
  • A car was parked outside the house.

When used well, expletives are enrichment tools that allow an author to play with a narrative voice’s register and the rhythm of sentences. 

When prose is overloaded with them, it can feel cluttered with filler words that add nothing but ink on the page. At best, they widen the narrative distance between the reader and the POV character; at worst, they flatten a sentence and destroy suspense and tension.
When to fix expletives
Flat expletives that merit fixing
Too much telling of what there is or was can rip the immediacy from a scene and encourage skimming. That’s a problem – it means the reader isn’t engaged and risks missing something.

Furthermore, if they’re not performing their rhythmic or emphasis role, expletives make sentence navigation more difficult because all they're doing is cluttering the prose.

Here's an example. Think I've overworked it? There are published books from mainstream presses with passages just like this made-up one.
FLAT EXPLETIVE
​     It was a tiny room. There was a light switch with rust-coloured smudged fingermarks on the melamine surface. Was that blood? There was a noise coming from beyond on the back wall. It was a high-pitched whimper. Then there was silence. She held her breath and tiptoed forward.
     Suddenly there was a scream.

The problem with the expletives in the passage above is that readers are bogged down in what there was rather than the viewpoint character's experience of discovery. Let's revise it to fix the problem.
 THE FIX
     The room was tiny. Rust-coloured fingermarks smudged the melamine surface of the light switch. Blood maybe. A noise came from beyond a door on the back wall. A high-pitched whimper. Then nothing. She held her breath and tiptoed forward.
   A scream shattered the silence.

Notice how the narrative distance has been reduced in the revised passage. Now it's as if we're in the viewpoint character's head, moving with her second by second. We can focus on the room, the dried-blood fingermarks, the whimper, and the scream rather than the being of those things – their was-ness. 

Removing the expletives and swapping in stronger verbs (smudged, shattered) enables us to tighten up the prose and introduce immediacy. And now there's no need for the told 'suddenly' – we experience the suddenness through the in-the-moment shattering. 
When to leave expletives alone
Expletives that pack a punch
As is always the case, obliterating expletives from a novel would be inappropriate because sometimes they're the perfect tool to help out with rhythm and emphasis.

The opening paragraph of Charles Dickens’s A Tale of Two Cities (p. 1) uses expletives galore, and masterfully at that. The repetition (anaphora) brings a steady rhythm to the passage that ensures the reader gives equal weight to the contrasting extremes – from best and worst to hope and despair. 

​The expletives introduce a detached sense of reportage that forces us forward rather than allowing us to dwell on any of the heavens or hells on offer. It’s simultaneously mundane and monstrous, and that's why it's magical.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair [...]

​And here’s an example from Dog Tags (p. 1) where omission of the expletive would rip the energy from the opening first line of the chapter and interfere with our understanding of which words we’re supposed to emphasize.
“Andy Carpenter, Lawyer to the Dogs.”
     That was the USA Today headline on a piece that ran about me a couple of months ago.

​Summing up
​
Grammatical expletives are a normal part of language and have every right to be in a novel. Overloading can destroy tension and make for a laboured narrative, but a purposeful peppering can amplify character emotion, moderate rhythm, and make space for the introduction of big themes in small spaces without sensory clutter.

Cited works and further reading
  • Author resource library (includes links to free webinars)
  • A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens, W. W. Norton & Company; Critical edition, 2020
  • Dog Tags, David Rosenfelt, Grand Central Publishing, Reprint edition, 2011 ​
  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level: A Guide for Beginner and Developing Writers
  • Making Sense of Punctuation: Transform Your Fiction 2
  • ‘Playing with sentence length in crime fiction. Is it time to trim the fat?’
  • ‘Playing with the rhythm of fiction: commas and conjunctions’
  • 'Should I use a comma before coordinating conjunctions and independent clauses in fiction?'
  • ‘What is anaphora and how can you use it in fiction writing?’
  • 'Why "suddenly" can spoil your crime fiction'
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
2 Comments

Should I use a comma before coordinating conjunctions and independent clauses in fiction?

7/9/2020

12 Comments

 
Are you confused about when to add commas before coordinating conjunctions linking independent clauses? This post offers guidance and a few examples to show you the way.
Should I use a comma before coordinating conjunctions and independent clauses in fiction?
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Rules, convention and meaning
Some writers and editors love a rule. I’m not so keen on the language of ‘rules’ because it sets up a binary mindset that’s focused on ‘wrong’ versus ‘right’ rather than clarity of meaning. Instead, I prefer to think in terms of convention.

Grammatical conventions are useful and purposeful. They provide us with a common frame of reference that helps us communicate clearly through the written word. We can start by at least acknowledging the following:

  • Breaking with convention requires understanding convention’s intent.
  • However, ignoring convention doesn’t always render a sentence unreadable or misunderstood.
  • And adhering to convention doesn’t always mean a sentence is as powerful as it could be.

Balancing convention and meaning
Writing and editing fiction requires deciding when to break with convention. But how do we work out what works and what doesn’t? Here’s how I frame the balancing act:

  • Punctuation should serve meaning as long as that doesn’t butcher rhythm.
  • Rhythm should serve emotion as long as that doesn’t butcher understanding.
  • Both should serve the reader and the story rather than the style manual and the grammar book.

So how does that apply to commas, coordinating conjunctions and independent clauses?

What are coordinating conjunctions?
Coordinating conjunctions are words that join other words or groups of words of equal weight. You might see them referred to in short as FANBOYS: 
F
for
A
and
N
nor
B
but 
O
or
Y
yet
S
so
What are independent clauses?
Independent clauses are groups of words that can stand as a sentence on their own and still make sense. They include a subject and a predicate.

Subjects are people/things that are doing something or being something – the noun (the thing) and the adjectival information describing that noun. The four examples given below are all subjects.

  • Louise
  • That fiction editor Louise Harnby
  • The dog
  • The Labrador in the corner

Predicates are what they’re doing – the verb (the doing word) and the thing the verb’s acting on. The four examples below are all predicates.

  • slumped over the desk.
  • loves working on thrillers.
  • licked its paws.
  • is pale yellow.

Joining subjects and predicates gives us independent clauses. Here are two simple examples (subject in bold; predicate underlined).
​
  • The dog is pale yellow.
  • It is licking its paws.
The comma convention
​The comma convention
If two or more independent clauses in a sentence are joined by a coordinating conjunction, it’s conventional to place a comma before that conjunction.

EXAMPLE AND EVALUATION #1
In the following example, the independent clauses are in bold.
The dog is pale yellow, and it's licking its paws.

The independent clauses could stand on their own as complete sentences and be understood perfectly well. Let’s revisit our balancing act and assess the impact of the comma.
​
The degree to which the comma serves meaning here is, I think, debatable. This is what it looks like without the comma:
​The dog is pale yellow and it's licking its paws.

There’s no ambiguity there, and so one could argue that insisting on a comma would be grammatical pedantry. An editor would struggle to justify adding a comma for any other reason than ‘that’s the rule’ or 'I think it looks better' because the meaning is perfectly clear.

Could someone argue that the comma enforces the equal weighting of the independent clauses lying either side of the coordinating conjunction?

Yes in that it acts as a separator of two ideas: the dog’s colour and what it’s doing to its paws; the one isn't related to the other. And so I certainly wouldn’t remove it if it were already in place; there’s no justification for such an action.

MORE COMPLEX CONSTRUCTIONS
Many sentences in fiction are more complex. If our example looked like this, we might have a sounder justification for adding the comma:
She stops in the doorway and holds her breath. She’s found it. The dog is pale yellow and it's licking its paws and nipping at the bloodied fur around the wound.

​In the revised example below, I think applying the conventional punctuation helps. The rhythm is moderated – we take a little breath when we reach the comma – and experience (through our viewpoint character’s eyes) first the colour of the dog and then what it’s doing and why.

The two ideas have a starker separation, and the punctuation convention supports that meaning. 
She stops in the doorway and holds her breath. She’s found it. The dog is pale yellow, and it's licking its paws and nipping at the bloodied fur around the wound.

EXAMPLE AND EVALUATION #2
Here’s an excerpt from Robert Ludlum’s The Janson Directive (Orion, 2003, p. 355). Once more, both independent clauses are in bold.
Another dumb, inanimate slug would shatter another skull, and another life would be stricken, erased, turned into the putrid animal matter from which it had been constituted.

The independent clauses could stand on their own as complete sentences and be understood perfectly well. Again, let’s revisit our balancing act and assess the impact of the comma.

I think the comma serves meaning and is necessary. Without it, we might start to read the sentence as if the slug would shatter not just a skull but another life too. That’s not what Ludlum is saying. Instead, we’re alerted that another idea is coming into play.

A trip-up here means the reader would have to fix the grammar in their head and reread the sentence to make sense of it. That’s a momentary distraction no writer wants.
When to break grammar and punctuation rules
Breaking with convention in fiction
Let’s have a look at when we might ignore grammatical convention.

Below is a short scene I’ve made up. Our protagonist is a forty-year-old woman having a nightmare about a past event.
There’s a huge yellow dog snarling in the doorway, blocking the way out. Its hackles are raised and it’s grinding its teeth and it’s foaming at the mouth and it’s—​
     I wake, slick with sweat, the six-year-old me hovering spectre-like in my mind’s eye. It’s the third time I’ve had that dream in the past week.

There are three independent clauses (and the start of a fourth) linked by a coordinating conjunction. The ‘rule’ says there should be a comma before all those ‘and’s.
​
EVALUATION
A pro fiction editor would want to think twice before they start adding in commas because of some rule or other.

  • First of all, we need to recognize the literary device in play here – anaphora: deliberate repetition for the purpose of emphasis or meaning – in this case ‘and it’s’.
  • Notice, too, how the beats in those independent clauses are similar: dee-dum-da-dum, dee-dumdum-da-dum, dee-dumdum-dada-dum.

Using anaphora doesn’t mean we have to ignore commas, far from it. But what would introducing them do to rhythm and mood?

I think the lack of commas helps us to feel our way under the skin of that dream-child because young children in a panic don’t introduce pauses or moderate their speech according to a style manual or a grammar guide. Instead, words fly from their mouths like tiny storms.

What we have instead is the sense of terrified disorientation being experienced by the dreamer, one that’s shown rather than told.

Commas would moderate the pace and separate the ideas contained in each independent clause; omitting them means we’re offered a stream of terrified consciousness.
More exceptions to grammar and punctuation rules
More exceptions
Some grammarians do allow for an exception when the independent clauses are short and closely related.

In the examples that follow, the coordinating conjunctions are underlined; notice the absence of the preceding comma. Sense isn’t marred because of the missing punctuation.
  • The gig was finished but no one seemed keen to leave.
  • ‘You need to return that or the boss is going to fire you,’ said Harvey.
  • She’d told him three times yet he wouldn’t listen.
  • The dog is almost white so it stands out in the dark.
  • Mara was late yet again and Aisha was furious.

​It’s an eminently sensible exception – one that allows for decluttering but also avoids a separation of ideas that isn’t appropriate.

  • In the first example, ‘no one seemed keen to leave’ is an independent clause, but the reason for telling us this rests on the gig being finished. No comma required.
  • In the fifth example, Aisha’s fury is standalone, too, but it’s a result of Mara’s tardiness. No comma required.

Summing up
The grammatical convention of placing a comma before a coordinating conjunction linking independent clauses is helpful and useful. However, sometimes we can omit those commas:

  • Because the comma interrupts rhythm and emotion, and therefore shown meaning.
  • Because the meaning is clear, and a comma would be unnecessarily cluttering.
  • Because the comma introduces an inappropriate separation of ideas.

Style and grammar resources offer guidance, and we should use them, but only in so far as they serve the reader and the story, not because we are rule enforcers. That’s nothing more than a road to literary butchery.

More resources to help you line edit with confidence
  • Author resource library (includes links to free webinars)
  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level: A Guide for Beginner and Developing Writers
  • Making Sense of Punctuation: Transform Your Fiction 2
  • ‘Playing with sentence length in crime fiction. Is it time to trim the fat?’
  • ‘Playing with the rhythm of fiction: commas and conjunctions’
  • ‘What is anaphora and how can you use it in fiction writing?’
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
12 Comments

What is an omniscient narrative point of view?

17/8/2020

0 Comments

 
This post helps less experienced fiction writers and editors make sense of omniscient point of view, and work with this narrative style effectively.
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What is narrative point of view?
Point of view (POV) describes whose head we’re in when we read a book ... from whose perspective we discover what’s going on – and the smells, sounds, sights and emotions involved.

Third-person omniscient POV
This viewpoint is probably the trickiest to master. Omniscient means all-knowing. It’s the most flexible because it gives the reader potential access to every character’s external and internal experiences. It also has the potential to be the least intimate if not handled well.
​
Imagine a futuristic news helicopter. Inside, our roving reporter shifts her camera from one person to another, and one setting to another. She’s also got some serious kit, stuff that enables her to tap everyone’s phones, TVs and computers. But that’s not all; the characters’ brains are bugged too; our reporter knows what they’re thinking. She can see, hear and smell it all! Says Sophie Playle:
The narrator knows everything, and isn’t limited to the viewpoint of any single character. An omniscient narrator could be a character in the story (like a god or an enlightened person), or they could be an observing nonentity. Completely omniscient viewpoints are difficult to pull off well because the narrator needs to have reasons for imparting the knowledge they choose to impart in the order they choose to do so, otherwise the story will feel contrived [...] Omniscient narration and third person objective narration have similarities, but the key is looking for when the narrator knows more than it could objectively observe.

Examples: Deeper knowledge than third-person narration
If you’ve read anything by Neil Gaiman, you’ll see a blatant external narrator in evidence with a depth of knowledge that defies the rules of a third-person viewpoint. Here’s an example from Neverwhere (p. 10). 
     He continued, slowly, by a process of osmosis and white knowledge (which is like white noise, only more informative), to comprehend the city, a process which accelerated when he realized that the actual City of London itself was no bigger than a square mile [...]
     Two thousand years before, London had been a little Celtic village on the north shore of the Thames which the Romans had encountered and settled in. London had grown, slowly, until, roughly a thousand years later, it met the tiny Royal City of Westminster [...]
      London grew into something huge and contradictory. It was a good place, and a fine city, but there is a price to be paid for all good places, and a price that all good places have to pay.
      ​After a while, Richard found himself taking London for granted.
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The first ten words might appear to be a third-person viewpoint (‘He’ refers to Richard, the protagonist), but that’s not the case. What follows is a distinct narrative other, a voice that explains ‘white knowledge’.

In the second and third paragraphs, the all-knowing narrator offers historical information. Then in the final paragraph, we’re told more about Richard. The viewpoint was never third-person objective. It was omniscient all along.

In Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, ‘the man’ takes centre stage in most of the sections such that we see what he sees and feel what he feels. It’s almost as if he’s the narrator, and once more we could be forgiven for thinking the viewpoint third person. But there’s more going on here.

​
In the following extracts, notice the shift beyond what it’s possible for the man to see, think or know.
     He woke in the morning and turned over in the blanket and looked down the road through the trees the way they’d come in time to see the marchers four abreast. Dressed in clothing of every description, all wearing red scarves at their necks. Red or orange, as close to red as they could find. He put his hand on the boy’s head. Shh, he said. (pp. 95–6)
​
     He wallowed into the ground and lay watching across his forearm. An army in tennis shoes, tramping. Carrying three-foot lengths of pipe with leather wrappings. [...] The phalanx following carried spears or lances tasselled with ribbons, the long blades hammered out of trucksprings in some crude forge upcountry. The boy lay with his face in his arms, terrified. (p. 96)
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In the first extract, only an all-knowing alternative narrator could be privy to the intent behind the marchers’ colour choice of scarves. In the second, the man watches the army, but it’s only an omniscient narrator who can know where their blades were forged and how the boy is feeling. Maybe that narrator is McCarthy; maybe it’s someone else. But it’s not the man.

Example: World-building backstory in a flash

Some genres – science fiction and fantasy for example – lend themselves well to omniscient narrators because they can provide critical world-building backstory quickly. Terry Pratchett’s Wyrd Sisters provides a fine example (pp. 1–2).
Through the fathomless deeps of space swims the star turtle Great A’Tuin, bearing on its back the four giant elephants who carry on their shoulders the mass of the Discworld. A tiny sun and moon spin around them, on a complicated orbit to induce seasons, so probably nowhere else in the multiverse is it sometimes necessary for an elephant to cock a leg to allow the sun to go past.
​     Exactly why this should be may never be known. Possibly, the Creator of the universe got bored with all the usual business of axial inclination, albedos and rotational velocities, and decided to have a bit of fun for once.
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What omniscient is not
An omniscient viewpoint can be powerful but it needs to be controlled and used with purpose. If we’re accessing one character’s thoughts and experiences, and we jump to another character’s viewpoint, it can jar the reader. That's called head-hopping.

Imagine you’re listening to your best friend tell you about a difficult experience. Even though it didn’t happen to you, her description of the event helps you to imagine the challenges she faced, the emotions she grappled with. You’re thoroughly immersed and emotionally connected.

Then someone else barges up to you both and tells you what it was like for them. Your friend butts back in to wrestle the telling back to her.
​
Would the interruption annoy and frustrate you? Would you feel like your efforts to invest in your friend’s story were being thwarted?

The impact is the same when it occurs in a book’s narrative (though not the dialogue, of course). That viewpoint ping pong is not omniscient POV. It’s third-person limited gone awry.


Recommendation
I recommend caution. The beauty of fiction often lies in the unveiling, in the immersion. Overuse of an omniscient narrator can block this. 

The all-seeing eye can be a powerful tool – as demonstrated by the examples above – but less experienced authors, particularly those writing commercial fiction such as thrillers and mysteries, risk accidental head-hopping, which will destroy the tension and distance the reader from the characters.


Cited sources and related reading​​
  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level, Louise Harnby, Panx Press, 2020
  • Making Sense of Point of View (Transform Your Fiction series: 1), Louise Harnby, Panx Press, 2020
  • Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman, William Morrow Paperbacks, reprint edition, 2016
  • Resources for authors: Library of articles, podcasts, videos and booklets for independent writers
  • The Road, Cormac McCarthy, Picador, 2009
  • 'What’s the Difference Between Omniscient and Third Person Narration?' Sophie Playle, Liminal Pages​
  • 'What is head-hopping?'
  • Wyrd Sisters, Terry Pratchett, Harper, reprint edition, 2013
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
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Where to place dialogue tags in fiction

10/8/2020

6 Comments

 
​Not sure where to place your speech tags? This guide shows you how to tell readers who’s speaking, not based on a set of rules but in respect of clarity, suspense, invisibility, and rhythm.
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​What is a dialogue tag?
Dialogue tags, or speech tags, are complementary short phrases that tell the reader who’s talking. They’re not always necessary, particularly if there are only two speakers in a scene, but when they are used, this is what they look like:

  • ‘Dump that corpse and don’t ever mention it again,’ the hooded guy whispered.
  • “Thanks for holding the gun,” Tom said. “Now pull the trigger.”
  • Marg turned. Smirked. Said, ‘Tomorrow. If you’re late, he’s late. Geddit?’

Said is often best because readers are so used to seeing it that it’s pretty much invisible and therefore less interruptive.

What’s the rule about where tags go?
Dialogue tags can be placed after, between or before dialogue. Authors sometimes ask which position is best or whether there’s a rule.

There is no rule. All three positions have advantages and disadvantages, depending on what you want to achieve.

Position: After dialogue
Readers are so used to seeing speech tags like said at the end of dialogue that they’re almost invisible. That allows the dialogue, rather than the speaking of the dialogue, to be the focus.

Below is a wee example from Recursion (p. 292). The speech takes centre stage; the doing of speech (screaming, in this case) comes afterwards.
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Furthermore, when the tag comes after the dialogue, it can roll seamlessly into any supporting narrative, as shown in the example from The Ghost Fields (p. 194).
     “Come on!” he screams.

​     ‘It’s very … evocative,’ says Ruth. This is true. The brushwork may be crude, the planes out of perspective and the figures barely more than stick men, but there’s something about the work of the unknown airman that brings back the past more effectively than any documentary or reconstruction.
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There are a couple of potential disadvantages:
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  • In longer chunks of dialogue in scenes with more than two speakers, the reader will have to wait until the end of the speech to find out who’s saying what.
  • Placement at the end of speech can flatten a one-liner or suspense point in dialogue.

Position: Between dialogue
Placing speech tags between dialogue is also common and unlikely to jar the reader. Here are three reasons why it works:

  • The tag breaks up longer streams of dialogue, which is especially handy if a monologue’s rearing its head.
  • We’re given an early indication who’s speaking. If there are more than two speakers in a scene, and the reader’s likely to be confused, placement between the speech is an effective solution.
  • One-liners, suspense points and shocks get to take centre stage. Adding the speech tag at the end could flatten the tension.

Here are two examples in which the mid placement of the tag means the suspense isn't interfered with. The first is taken from The Ghost Fields (p. 194); the second is something I made up.
     ‘It’s not signed,’ says Frank, ‘but there’s something that may be a clue.’

     ​“Thanks for holding the gun,” Tom said. “Now pull the trigger.”
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In the first example, not having the speech tag at the end of the dialogue focuses the reader on one question: what’s the clue? Not: Frank’s the speaker.

In the second example, rejig the sentence so that Tom said comes after all the speech, and notice how this makes the wallop vanish from the line about pulling the trigger.

Position: Before dialogue
Placement of the tag before the dialogue isn’t a no-no but it is a less common option and more noticeable.

A tag tells of speaking; dialogue shows character voice, mood and intention. When the speaker’s announced first, it’s a tap on the shoulder that draws attention to speaking being done. It expands what author and creative-writing expert Emma Darwin calls the ‘psychic distance’ between the reader and the speaker, which can flatten the mood.

And, yet, this can also be its advantage. That tap introduces a more staccato rhythm that can stop a reader in their tracks.
​
In this extract from Recursion (p. 292), the placement of the tag before the dialogue induces an acute sense of resignation – that dull thump in the pit of one’s stomach when the proverbial’s hit the fan.
     “That’s a Black Hawk,” he says. “Wonder what’s going on in town.”
     The chopper banks hard to the left and slows its groundspeed, now drifting back in their direction as it lowers from five hundred feet toward the ground.
     ​Helena says, “They’re here for us.”
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Not placing tags: Omission
There’s no need to include a speech tag if it’s adding nothing but clutter. In the following example from Recursion (p. 125), the author has omitted them because there are only two speakers. He lets the dialogue, and its punctuation, inject the voice, mood and intention into the scene rather than telling us who’s speaking and how they’re saying it.
     Slade lifts his Champagne glass and polishes off the rest.
     “You stole that other life from me.”
     “Helena—”
     “Was I married? Did I have kids?”
     “Do you really want to know? It doesn’t matter now. It never happened.”
     ​“You’re a monster.”
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Summing up
​
Placement of dialogue tags isn’t about rules. It’s about purpose:
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  • Varying rhythm
  • Respecting mood and suspense
  • Clarifying who’s speaking
  • Avoiding unnecessary clutter

For that reason, mixing up the position of speech tags can be effective.

​Let’s end with an extract from Out of Sight (pp. 135–7), which demonstrates the varied ways in which author Elmore Leonard handles his tagging: beginning, between, end, and omission.
     ‘But you think they’re coming back,’ Karen said.
     ​‘Yes, indeed, and we gonna have a surprise party. I want you to take a radio, go down to the lobby and hang out with the folks. You see Foley and this guy Bragg, what do you do?’
     ‘Call and tell you.’
     ‘And you let them come up. You understand? You don’t try to make the bust yourself.’
     Burdon slipping back into his official mode.
     ​Karen said, ‘What if they see me?’
     ‘You don’t let that happen,’ Burdon said. ‘I want them upstairs.’
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Cited sources and further reading
  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level, Louise Harnby, Panx Press, 2020
  • How to Punctuate Dialogue (free webinar)
  • Out of Sight, Elmore Leonard, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2017
  • Recursion, Blake Crouch, Pan, 2020
  • The Ghost Fields, Elly Griffiths, Quercus, 2015
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
6 Comments

What is a second-person narrative point of view?

3/8/2020

2 Comments

 
Not sure what a second-person narrative point of view is, or how to use it effectively in your fiction writing? This post shows you how it works in a novel.
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What is narrative point of view?
Point of view (POV) describes whose head we’re in when we read a book ... from whose perspective we discover what’s going on – and the smells, sounds, sights and emotions involved.

There can be multiple viewpoints in a book, not all of which have to belong to a single character. Plus, editors’ and authors’ opinions differ as to which approach works best, and what jars and why.

My aim is to keep the guidance as straightforward as possible, not because I think you should only do it this way or that way, but because most people (myself included) handle complexity best when they start with the foundations.

Second-person narrative viewpoint
In second-person narrative POVs, the pronoun is ‘you’. This narration is intimate, but strangely so, as if the author is talking directly to the reader as a character.

That intrusive element is both its strength and its weakness. It’s powerful because it places readers at the heart of the story, and yet we – the ‘you’ – know less than the narrator.

That can create a sense of immediacy, but almost amnesiac dislocation. We have to discover what we think, see, know and do. And if we don’t identify with the ‘you’ – if we feel implicated rather than attached – we can be pulled out of the story rather than brought deeper into it.

Still, this controlling aspect of second person can have an advantage. Whereas first-person narrators tell you what they thought and did, second-person narrators tell us what we thought and did.

This witnessing adds a level of reliability (even if we don’t like it). And readers aren’t daft. They know they’re not really the you-character, which means authors could use it as a tool to create surprise when the ‘you’ is unveiled later in the book.

If you want your readers to feel connected but controlled, second-person POV might be just the ticket, but it’s difficult to pull off and rare that authors of contemporary commercial fiction write an entire novel in it (though check out Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by Tom Robbins if you want to see a good example in action). 

More likely, you’ll see shorter-form use: dedicated chapters or other narrative forms such as diary entries, letters or other missives.
Example: Curiosity, reliability and the complicit reader
In this example from Complicity (p. 9), Iain Banks uses the second-person viewpoint in which a narrator reports on the actions and thoughts of an unnamed serial killer addressed as ‘you’.
​There is another faint crunching noise as the body spasms once and then goes limp. Blood spreads blackly from his mouth over the collar of his white shirt and starts to drip onto the pale marble of the steps. [...]
     You go downstairs and walk through the kitchen, where the two women sit tied to their chairs; you leave via the same window you entered by, walking calmly through the small back garden into the mews where the motorbiked is parked.
     You hear the first faint, distant screams just as you take the bike’s key from your pocket. You feel suddenly elated.
​     You’re glad you didn’t have to hurt the women.
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Think about how you feel as you read this. It’s as if you’re being addressed, as if you’re complicit. At the very least, the prose arouses curiosity – who is this ‘you’, and how is it that the narrator knows so much about them?

Banks doesn’t present the novel fully in second person; these sections fall between those of a first-person viewpoint character, journalist Cameron Colley. As such, readers are confronted by a juxtaposition of Cameron’s version of events and what was witnessed by the narrator.


Recommendation
By all means, experiment with second-person point of view but understand its implications. If you want to draw your reader into the heart of your story, it’s a good choice. However, that connection can come at a price – a lack of control that could alienate your audience.

For that reason, consider the purpose of this narrative style and the extent to which you employ it. It might be better constrained – limited to chapters inhabited by specific viewpoint characters.

If in doubt, rewrite your scene in an alternative narrative viewpoint so you can evaluate how this affects your perception of the story as a reader.


Cited sources and related reading
  • Complicity, Iain Banks, Abacus, 1994
  • Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas, Tom Robbins, Random House, 2002​
  • Making Sense of Point of View (Transform Your Fiction series: 1)
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Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
2 Comments

When to indent text: Laying out narrative and dialogue in fiction

27/7/2020

7 Comments

 
This post explains when and how to indent your narrative and dialogue according to publishing-industry convention.
To indent or not to indent: A quick guide to laying out narrative and dialogue in fiction
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The purpose of first-line indents
Each new paragraph signifies a change or shift of some sort ... perhaps a new idea, piece of action, thought or speaker, even a moderation or acceleration of pace. Still, the prose in all those paragraphs within a section is connected.

Paragraph indents have two purposes in fiction:

  • Readability: They help the reader identify the shifts visually.
  • Connectivity: They indicate a journey. Indented paragraphs are related to what's come before ... part of the same scene.

First lines in chapters and new sections
Chapters and sections are bigger shifts: perhaps the viewpoint character changes, or there's a shift in timeline or location.

To mark this bigger shift in a novel, it’s conventional not to indent the first line of text in a new chapter or a new section. You might hear editorial folks refer to this non-indented text as full out.

  • This is standard with narrative and dialogue.
  • The convention applies regardless of your line spacing.

NARRATIVE LAYOUT
The following example is taken from Part 5, Chapter 2, of Christopher Priest’s Inverted World (p. 287, 2010):
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  • Paragraph 1 is the first in the chapter.
  • The first line is not indented.
  • The first lines of the paragraphs that follow it (2) are indented.
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And here's an example from Part 2, Chapter 6, p. 147, which shows how the layout works the same after a section break:
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  • Paragraph 1 is the first in the section.
  • The first line is not indented.
  • The first lines of the paragraphs that follow it (2) are indented.
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Even if an author chooses to include a design feature such as a dropped capital (sometimes called a drop cap), it's standard for that letter to be full out, as shown in the following example from To Kill a Devil (John A. Connell, p. 6, Nailhead Publishing, 2020):

  • Paragraph 1 is the first in the chapter.
  • The capital letter on the first and second lines is not indented.
  • The first line of the paragraph that follows it (2) is indented.
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DIALOGUE LAYOUT
​The same applies even if the chapter or section starts with dialogue, as in this excerpt from David Rosenfelt's Dog Tags (p. 192, Grand Central, 2010):

  • Paragraph 1 is the first in the chapter.
  • The first line is not indented.
  • The first lines of the paragraphs that follow it (2) are indented.
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Body text: dialogue and narrative
The example below from Blake Crouch's Recursion (p. 4, Macmillan, 2019) shows how the indentation works in the body text when there's a mixture of dialogue and narrative.

  • Regardless of whether the prose is narrative or reported speech, the text is indented.
  • The convention applies regardless of line spacing.
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IMPACT OF LINE SPACING
Even if you've elected to set your book file with double line spacing (perhaps at the request of a publisher, agent or editor), the indentation convention applies. Here's the Recursion example again, tweaked to show what it would look like: 
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Indenting text that follows special elements
Your novel might include special elements such as letters, texts, reports, lists or newspaper articles. Authors can choose to set off these elements with wider line spacing, but how do we handle the text that comes after?

Again, it's conventional to indent text that follows this content, regardless of whether it's narrative or dialogue. That's because of the connective function; the text is part of the same scene.

​Here are some examples from commercial fiction pulled from my bookshelves.

  1. REPORT: The Outsider, Stephen King, Hodder, 2018, p. 252
  2. LIST: Life of Pi, Yann Martel, Canongate, 2002, p. 146
  3. TRANSCRIPT: Snap, Belinda Bauer, Black Swan, 2018, p. 36
  4. RECORD: Ready Player One, Ernest Cline, Arrow, 2012, p. 300
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It's not the case that full-out text is never used, or can't be used, but fiction readers are used to conventions. When a paragraph isn't indented, they assume it's a new section, which creates a tiny disconnect.

That's what I think's happened in the example below from Kate Hamer's The Girl in the Red Coat (p. 325, Faber & Faber, 2015). Of course, it took me only a split second to work out that the narrator is referring to the preceding letter, but it's a split second that took me away from the story because I'd assumed I was looking at a section break.

​My preference would be to indent 'I touch my finger [...]' because that text is part of the scene, not a new section.
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How to create a first-line indent in Word
Let's finish with some quick guidance on creating first-line indents. 

​
Avoid using spaces and tabs to create indents in Word. Instead, create proper indents. There are several ways to do this.

  • Open the Home tab (1).
  • Select your text.
  • Move your cursor to the ruler and select the top marker (2).
  • Drag it to the position of your preferred indent.
  • Right-click on the style in the ribbon (3).
  • Select 'Update Normal to Match Selection'.​
OR​
  • Open the Home tab (1).
  • Open the Styles pane via the arrow icon (4).
  • Select your text.
  • Move your cursor to the ruler and select the top marker (2).
  • Drag it to the position of your preferred indent.
  • Go to the Styles pane (5) and right-click on the style (6).
  • Select 'Update Normal to Match Selection'.​ ​
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OR
  • Open the Home tab (1).
  • Open the Styles pane via the arrow icon (4).
  • Go to the Styles pane (5) and right-click on the style (6).
  • Select 'Modify' to open the Modify Styles pane (A).
  • Click on the Format button in the bottom left-hand corner (B).
  • Select Paragraph to open the Paragraph pane (C).
  • Make sure you're in the Indents and Spacing tab.
  • Look at the Indentations section in the middle. Make sure 'First line' is selected under 'Special:' (D).
  • Adjust the first-line indent according to your preference (E).
  • Click OK (F).
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Create a new style for your full-out paragraphs using the same tools.
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  • If using the ruler, ensure the markers (2) are aligned, one on top of the other.
  • If using the styles pane, adjust the indent spacing (E) to zero.

If you need more assistance with creating styles, watch this free webinar. There's no sign-up; just click on the button and dig in.
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ACCESS WEBINAR
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
7 Comments

How to show the emotions of non-viewpoint characters

20/7/2020

6 Comments

 
Non-viewpoint characters have emotions too. But how do we show them without head-hopping? The answer lies in mastering observable behaviour.
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What is head-hopping?
When a reader can access the internal experiences (emotions, thoughts, memories) of more than one character in a chapter or section, head-hopping is usually in play.
The exception is if you’re tackling the tricky beast that is omniscient narration. It’s difficult to pull off and rarely used in contemporary commercial fiction.

Here’s an example of what head-hopping looks like on the page. Jack is the viewpoint character and the narration style is third-person limited.
     The pebble bounces on the water seven, eight, no, nine times. Best ever, Jack thinks.
     Pete weaves through the grass and slumps into a hollow in the dune. His brother’s whoop, the arc of his arm … just like Dad’s when they played skimming stones. Before the accident. Before the world changed. He shakes the memory from his head. Dwelling on that stuff never ends well.
​     ​Jack turns away from the ocean, waves and calls for Pete to come down but the crashing surf swallows his words.

​Notice the following:
  • Best ever is Jack’s thought. That puts us in his head, which is fine because this is an excerpt from a chapter in which he’s the viewpoint character. But that means we cannot access what’s going on in Pete’s head – how he is remembering his dad and the accident, and the decision to not dwell on those things.
  • Look at the physicality too. Jack turns away from the water, which means he was facing it and couldn’t have observed Pete weaving through the grass and slumping into the dune. All he can do is see Pete on the dune after he’s turned.

How to enter a non-viewpoint character’s space without dropping viewpoint
There will be times when you want your reader to enter the emotional and physical space of a non-viewpoint character.

Mastering observable behaviour – showing us what the viewpoint character can see, and their interpretation of that behaviour – is one solution that will enable you to hold viewpoint.

Here’s a recast of the Jack/Pete scene:
     The pebble bounces on the water seven, eight, no, nine times. Best ever, Jack thinks.
​     He whoops and turns his back to the ocean. Pete’s lumbering gait is unmistakable. He weaves through the grass on the dune and slumps into a hollow, mouth set in a hard line, neck hunched into his shoulders, complexion pasty. But he’s out; the sunlight’s on his face. It’s the first time since a month of whenevers.
     Skimming stones was something they did with Dad. Before the accident. Before the world changed. Jack shakes the memory from his head. Dwelling on that stuff never ends well. He waves, calls for his brother to come down but the crashing surf swallows his words.

Notice the following:
  • We don’t leave Jack’s head. I’ve given him the memory of their dad and the accident, and the decision to not dwell.
  • I’ve changed the order of movement. Jack turns first so he can observe Pete’s journey through the grass and into the hollow of the dune.
  • Pete’s mood isn’t told (since we can’t access his inner experience). However, it can be shown through the set of his mouth, the position of his neck and the hue of his skin as Jack perceives it. Furthermore, we can infer that he’s been struggling to deal with the accident through Jack’s relief that he’s at least outside for a change.
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Mastering observation
Mastering observation enables writers to retain viewpoint but not be restricted by it. Think about how non-viewpoint characters will move in a way that reflects their internal experience, or what they will look like. Here are a few examples: