|
We discuss the 8 reference resources that we regularly dip into when we're writing and editing for business.
|
|
Example from published fiction
Adrian McKinty, The Chain, Orion, 2020 (Kindle version, Chapter 1) The doors power lock and Kylie curses herself for missing a chance. She could have unclicked the seat belt, opened the door, rolled out. Blind panic is beginning to overwhelm her. |
|
Action beats
Action beats help readers imagine how a character is physically behaving and can give us insights into the environment and the person’s traits. They bring movement to a scene.
Perhaps a viewpoint character stands up because the overly soft chair is making their sciatica play up; maybe an object’s being discussed, and they push it away in disgust; or perhaps they rub their bare feet across the rough pile of a rug in order to soothe themselves in an unformattable situation.
These beats are particularly useful when an author wants to convey emotions being experienced by a non-viewpoint character whose internal head-space isn’t accessible in limited narrative styles. Perhaps wiping sweat off their forehead indicates they’re feeling nervous, or their fidgeting with a beer mat indicates boredom.
Perhaps a viewpoint character stands up because the overly soft chair is making their sciatica play up; maybe an object’s being discussed, and they push it away in disgust; or perhaps they rub their bare feet across the rough pile of a rug in order to soothe themselves in an unformattable situation.
These beats are particularly useful when an author wants to convey emotions being experienced by a non-viewpoint character whose internal head-space isn’t accessible in limited narrative styles. Perhaps wiping sweat off their forehead indicates they’re feeling nervous, or their fidgeting with a beer mat indicates boredom.
|
Example from published fiction
Harlan Coben, Win, Arrow, 2021 (Kindle edition, Chapter 1) "You're a little slow, aren't you, Teddy?" I sigh. "No, I won't excuse you. There is no excuse for you. Are you with me now?" The scowl slowly returns to his face. "You got a problem?" |
|
Inaction beats
Inaction beats are pauses, hesitations and moments of silence or stillness. Even when these are short, they help the reader understand pace. They bring breathing space to a scene.
They’re powerful because they can show rather than tell more than one character’s contemplation, consideration, indecision, or shock. The prose might state the stillness or silence directly, or it can be nuanced and come in the form of a character’s taking stock of a situation or bracing themselves for a potential upset.
They’re powerful because they can show rather than tell more than one character’s contemplation, consideration, indecision, or shock. The prose might state the stillness or silence directly, or it can be nuanced and come in the form of a character’s taking stock of a situation or bracing themselves for a potential upset.
|
Example from published fiction
Kate Hamer, The Girl in the Red Coat, Faber & Faber, 2015 (Kindle edition, Chapter 6) When I wake up in the morning everything's wonderful. For a moment I can't understand why. Then I remember: Mum's said if the weather's good we can go to the storytelling festival and that's today. |
|
Description beats
Description beats give readers objective information about the character or environment. They bring stability to a scene.
They help readers understand what characters are wearing, what they look like, what’s surrounding them, what they can hear, see, smell, touch or taste. That brings the scene alive.
They help readers understand what characters are wearing, what they look like, what’s surrounding them, what they can hear, see, smell, touch or taste. That brings the scene alive.
|
Example from published fiction
Harlan Coben, Win, Arrow, 2021 (Kindle edition, Chapter 1) His name is Teddy Lyons. He is one of the too-many assistant coaches on the South State bench. He is six foot eight and beefy, a big slab of aw-shucks farm boy. Big T—that's what he likes to be called—is thirty-three years old, and this is his fourth college coaching job. From what I understand, he is a decent tactician but excels at recruiting talent. |
|
Dialogue beats
Dialogue beats tell readers what characters are saying and let readers hear those distinct voices in action. Vocal speech can be heard, and so dialogue beats bring expression to a scene.
Like action beats, dialogue is an opportunity to bring depth to non-viewpoint characters in limited narrative styles. Their internal opinions and feelings – which we don’t have access to because we’re not in their heads – are revealed to us.
Like action beats, dialogue is an opportunity to bring depth to non-viewpoint characters in limited narrative styles. Their internal opinions and feelings – which we don’t have access to because we’re not in their heads – are revealed to us.
|
Example from published fiction
Adrian McKinty, The Chain, Orion, 2020 (Kindle version, Chapter 1) “What should I tell her?” the man asks. “Don’t tell her anything. Tell her to shut the hell up,” the woman replies. “You need to be quiet, Kylie,” the man says. |
|
Why mixing up beats makes scenes more interesting
Too much of anything is rarely a good thing, and the same applies to a novel’s beats. When a scene’s constructed primarily around a particular type of beat, there’s a risk the reader will become frustrated and lose interest.
Writers and their publishing teams can use the drafting and editing stages to analyse the prose and evaluate whether there’s sufficient balance.
Writers and their publishing teams can use the drafting and editing stages to analyse the prose and evaluate whether there’s sufficient balance.
How to analyse a scene for beat balance
Must all 5 beats be introduced? No, certainly not. There’s no formula to writing compelling fiction. Good line craft means making a judgement about what’s missing and what might be added.
Approach 1
One way of approaching this is to think not in terms of the different types of beats but instead in terms of what they contribute, and whether there’s too much or too little.
And so writers and their editors can ask: Which of the following should the reader experience in this scene, and are they present? Here’s a summary of those elements:
Approach 1
One way of approaching this is to think not in terms of the different types of beats but instead in terms of what they contribute, and whether there’s too much or too little.
And so writers and their editors can ask: Which of the following should the reader experience in this scene, and are they present? Here’s a summary of those elements:
- Sensibility (via emotion beats)
- Movement (via action beats)
- Breathing space (via inaction beats)
- Stability (via description beats)
- Expression (via dialogue beats)
Example: Is too much expression dampening the scene?
An over-reliance on dialogue – even if it’s extremely well written – leaves a reader with no nudges about the emotions characters are experiencing or the environment they’re operating in. It’s two or more talking heads on a page.
If there should be expression in the scene, but the characters are chattering too much, think how you might turn the volume down, or at least disrupt it.
Consider introducing a few action, description and emotion beats. Or even turn some of the information contained within the speech into narrative.
An over-reliance on dialogue – even if it’s extremely well written – leaves a reader with no nudges about the emotions characters are experiencing or the environment they’re operating in. It’s two or more talking heads on a page.
If there should be expression in the scene, but the characters are chattering too much, think how you might turn the volume down, or at least disrupt it.
Consider introducing a few action, description and emotion beats. Or even turn some of the information contained within the speech into narrative.
Example: Is too much stability flattening the scene?
An over-reliance on objective description – even if it gives the reader a rich sense of the environment – leaves readers with no way of accessing mood. It’s a menu of what’s where.
Description should stabilise the scene, not crush it so that it’s as flat as a pancake.
Help readers get under the skin of the characters and their environment by adding emotion or dialogue, or a little action that gives the scene some movement.
An over-reliance on objective description – even if it gives the reader a rich sense of the environment – leaves readers with no way of accessing mood. It’s a menu of what’s where.
Description should stabilise the scene, not crush it so that it’s as flat as a pancake.
Help readers get under the skin of the characters and their environment by adding emotion or dialogue, or a little action that gives the scene some movement.
Example: Is too much sensibility overwhelming the scene?
An over-reliance on emotion can be draining and doesn’t give the reader the chance to take a breath. It’s like a counselling session.
If there should be emotion, but a character’s self-absorption is swamping a reader’s ability to make sense of the environment, introduce description and action beats to ground the reader a little more objectively.
An over-reliance on emotion can be draining and doesn’t give the reader the chance to take a breath. It’s like a counselling session.
If there should be emotion, but a character’s self-absorption is swamping a reader’s ability to make sense of the environment, introduce description and action beats to ground the reader a little more objectively.
|
Approach 2
Another option is to colour-code the text in a scene according to what type of beats are in play. This can help authors and editors evaluate whether one type of beat is overbearing, and where they might add in additional types of beat to disrupt that dominance. It's a powerful way of communicating the problem visually and quickly. |
|
I've carried out a sample scene analysis using this method with a stunning excerpt from SA Cosby’s Razorblade Tears. Use the button below to get your free copy.
Summing up
Using different types of beats in a scene helps readers to understand where the character is, what’s around them, how they feel and what’s important to them. Over-reliance on one type can lead to boredom and frustration; mix things up to keep them interested and turning the page.
Other resources you might like
- Editing Fiction at Sentence Level: book
- Fiction editing line craft: books
- How to Line Edit for Suspense: multimedia course
- How to Write the Perfect Editorial Report: multimedia course
- Narrative Distance: multimedia course
- Resource library
- Switching to Fiction: multimedia course
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
- Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
- Connect: Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
- Learn: Books and courses
- Discover: Resources for authors and editors
Love Twitter for engaging with other editorial and language professionals? We've got one tip for you: Don't engage with content you hate.
Summary of Episode 103
- How Google's algorithm works
- How Twitter's algorithm works
- Why tweeting about content you hate makes it more visible on Twitter and on the web
- Why tweeting about content you hate means you're assisting the creator with marketing
- Using Twitter to elevate the content you love and the causes you care about
Related resources
- Editor Website Essentials (multimedia course)
- Emotional Marketing that Gets Editors Work (multimedia course)
- Marketing Toolbox for Editors (multimedia course)
- Resource library for editors, proofreaders and writers
- Social Media for Business Growth (multimedia course)
Join our Patreon community
If you'd like to support The Editing Podcast, thank you! That means the world to us.
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
- Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
- Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
- Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
- Connect: Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
- Learn: Books and courses
- Discover: Resources for authors and editors
Find out why the concept of conscious language is foundational to professional fiction-editing practice.
What’s in this post …
- What is ‘conscious language’?
- ‘But I’m not part of the “woke” brigade’
- The foundations of editing
- Are you part of the professional editing brigade?
- Why conscious language is also about successful authoring
- Why conscious language is about consideration rather than prescription
- A case study
- Helping our clients
- Tools that help with conscious language
What is ‘conscious language’?
Karen Yin, founder of Conscious Style Guide, defines conscious language as ‘language rooted in critical thinking and compassion, used skilfully in a specific context'. Using conscious language involves, she says, asking ourselves the following:
- Who is my audience?
- What tone and level of formality do I want?
- What am I trying to achieve?
- How might history change the impact of my language choices regardless of my intentions?
- Who’s being excluded?
‘But I’m not part of the “woke” brigade’
Conversations about ‘conscious language’ are welcomed by many in the editing community. Now and then, however, these result in references being made to the ‘woke brigade’ from some quarters.
Oxford Dictonaries defines ‘woke’ as:
Oxford Dictonaries defines ‘woke’ as:
Alert to injustice and discrimination in society, especially racism.
Merriam-Webster suggests:
Aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice).
Neither mention that the term is sometimes used as a slur against people who are judged to be overly politically correct, over-sensitive, overly concerned with not offending, overly prescriptive.
So must editors be ‘woke’? How we answer that will depend on what we think editors are supposed to do.
The foundations of editing
Editing at its very foundations requires us to actively think about the words on the page and whether they’re doing what the author intends.
Since how we approach language will be influenced by the bubble of our own lived experience, editorial practice requires listening to others who offer alternative insights – ones we were perhaps previously unaware of – into the meaning of words and the consequences of their use.
It means allowing our prior assumptions to be challenged, to consider that what we thought we understood might need revising.
And it means opening our minds to the opportunities that are already alive in the English language – words that explain rather than exclude, and that are rich in both sense and sensibility.
If, like me, you’re not keen on the term ‘woke’ because its negative usage has become a distraction, try an alternative.
My preference is ‘professional editor’.
Since how we approach language will be influenced by the bubble of our own lived experience, editorial practice requires listening to others who offer alternative insights – ones we were perhaps previously unaware of – into the meaning of words and the consequences of their use.
It means allowing our prior assumptions to be challenged, to consider that what we thought we understood might need revising.
And it means opening our minds to the opportunities that are already alive in the English language – words that explain rather than exclude, and that are rich in both sense and sensibility.
If, like me, you’re not keen on the term ‘woke’ because its negative usage has become a distraction, try an alternative.
My preference is ‘professional editor’.
Are you part of the professional editing brigade?
Conscious language serves authors – the people who pay editors – and serves readers – the people who pay authors.
The professional editor who isn’t alert to wording that distracts from the message rather than amplifying that message isn’t doing the job that a professional editor is supposed to do: being paid to help the author prepare their book for readers.
And so regardless of the editor’s personal opinion on this word or that word, regardless of whether the editor uses the term ‘woke’ to describe their mindset or to cast a slur, there’s a business case for conscious language.
The professional editor can’t sidestep that because it’s not about us, and it’s not our book. It’s about the author, and it’s their book.
The professional editor who isn’t alert to wording that distracts from the message rather than amplifying that message isn’t doing the job that a professional editor is supposed to do: being paid to help the author prepare their book for readers.
And so regardless of the editor’s personal opinion on this word or that word, regardless of whether the editor uses the term ‘woke’ to describe their mindset or to cast a slur, there’s a business case for conscious language.
The professional editor can’t sidestep that because it’s not about us, and it’s not our book. It’s about the author, and it’s their book.
Why conscious language is also about successful authoring
Readers aren’t homogenous – they don’t all live in the same country, speak the same English, or spell with the same letters. They aren’t wrapped in the same skin, don’t share the same sexual orientation, practise the same faith, have identical anatomies or have one set of homogenous secondary sex characteristics.
Most authors want to sell as many books as they can. That means engaging as many readers as they can. Engaged readers focus their attention on story. Novels containing words and phrases that distract from story, rather amplifying it, don’t serve authors.
Deliberately reviewing novels for words and phrases that might disengage a chunk of the potential readership is therefore nothing more than good commercial practice, and it’s the editor’s job to support the author who’s striving to create something that will give them a return on their investment.
Most authors want to sell as many books as they can. That means engaging as many readers as they can. Engaged readers focus their attention on story. Novels containing words and phrases that distract from story, rather amplifying it, don’t serve authors.
Deliberately reviewing novels for words and phrases that might disengage a chunk of the potential readership is therefore nothing more than good commercial practice, and it’s the editor’s job to support the author who’s striving to create something that will give them a return on their investment.
Why conscious language is about consideration rather than prescription
When we ask our clients to consider the impact of a particular word, we’re not prescribing ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. We’re helping them make informed decisions predicated on an acknowledgement that not all words in the English language have a single, universally accepted meaning.
The meaning we attach to some words might differ depending on, for example, where we live, how old we are, and how we’re racialised, sexualized and gendered by others. In other words, what I mean when I use a word might not be what you mean when you use that word.
The meaning we attach to some words might differ depending on, for example, where we live, how old we are, and how we’re racialised, sexualized and gendered by others. In other words, what I mean when I use a word might not be what you mean when you use that word.
A case study
My author is a white British man. I know very little else about his identity but I’ve line edited two books for him and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. In the second project, a viewpoint character uses the word ‘thug’ to describe an unpleasant minor character.
In Britain, the word ‘thug’ isn’t racialized (at the time of writing and as far as I’m aware) – meaning the term isn’t typically assigned to a particular racial group. That’s not the case in America, where, I’ve learned, the term is heavily racialized.
My author is British. His characters are British. His book’s setting is Britain. The term ‘thug’ in that context therefore doesn’t jar … as long as we view the project within that bubble of author–character–location.
However, that’s potentially problematic. There’s something missing from that bubble: the people who’ll determine whether my author’s book is a commercial success – readers.
My author’s keen to sell his books all over the world, including into America, and for that reason I suggested some alternatives to the word ‘thug’, and explained why I think he’d do well to choose one of them.
The choice was his because it’s his book. And he decided to heed the guidance because both books I’ve worked on have explored the impact of predatory behaviour and abuse.
He writes with compassion and mindfulness, and says he doesn’t want to include a word in his book that might distract one of his American readers unless it’s critical to the character’s arc. And in doing so he's considered:
My author is a white British man. I know very little else about his identity but I’ve line edited two books for him and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. In the second project, a viewpoint character uses the word ‘thug’ to describe an unpleasant minor character.
In Britain, the word ‘thug’ isn’t racialized (at the time of writing and as far as I’m aware) – meaning the term isn’t typically assigned to a particular racial group. That’s not the case in America, where, I’ve learned, the term is heavily racialized.
My author is British. His characters are British. His book’s setting is Britain. The term ‘thug’ in that context therefore doesn’t jar … as long as we view the project within that bubble of author–character–location.
However, that’s potentially problematic. There’s something missing from that bubble: the people who’ll determine whether my author’s book is a commercial success – readers.
My author’s keen to sell his books all over the world, including into America, and for that reason I suggested some alternatives to the word ‘thug’, and explained why I think he’d do well to choose one of them.
The choice was his because it’s his book. And he decided to heed the guidance because both books I’ve worked on have explored the impact of predatory behaviour and abuse.
He writes with compassion and mindfulness, and says he doesn’t want to include a word in his book that might distract one of his American readers unless it’s critical to the character’s arc. And in doing so he's considered:
- who his audience is
- what he's trying to achieve
- how history AND geography affect the impact of his language choices regardless of his intentions
- those who might be excluded if he weren't to consider other options.
Helping our clients
A conscious-language approach to editing therefore helps us to help our clients. We can share the knowledge we’ve acquired from our colleagues in the publishing community, knowledge that our authors might not be aware of.
And in doing so, they can publish a book that keeps its audience wanting to turn the pages rather than rip them out.
Summing up
If you think conscious language is a load of old ‘woke’ codswallop, consider whether editing is the right job for you. Editors are required at the very core of their practice to consider the purpose and effectiveness of the words in front of them.
That doesn’t mean we have to know it all – we can’t, not least because the language landscape is always in flux. It does mean we have to be ready to listen, learn, and advise so that our clients can make informed – conscious – decisions.
And we don’t have to do it alone. There’s a large and diverse community of editors and writers who are with us on that journey, and tools to help us improve our practice.
That doesn’t mean we have to know it all – we can’t, not least because the language landscape is always in flux. It does mean we have to be ready to listen, learn, and advise so that our clients can make informed – conscious – decisions.
And we don’t have to do it alone. There’s a large and diverse community of editors and writers who are with us on that journey, and tools to help us improve our practice.
Tools that help with conscious language
Listen to podcast episodes and download a free booklet with links to useful resources created by people in the publishing community who are passionate about language and alert to its power.
|
|
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
- Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
- Connect: Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
- Learn: Books and courses
- Discover: Resources for authors and editors
PDF MARKUP
AUTHOR RESOURCES
EDITOR RESOURCES
