<![CDATA[Louise Harnby | Crime Fiction and Thriller Editor - Blog]]>Mon, 13 Apr 2026 20:57:05 +0100Weebly<![CDATA[7 types of thriller opening lines (with examples from bestselling novels)]]>Thu, 09 Apr 2026 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/7-types-of-thriller-opening-lines-with-examples-from-bestselling-novelsExplore seven effective types of thriller opening lines, and how published novelists are using them to convince their audiences to keep on reading.
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In this article

  • The recognizable patterns in thriller opening lines
  • First-line focus on a pursuit
  • First-line focus on psychological mindset
  • First-line focus on a shocking statement
  • First-line focus on a crime or transgression
  • First-line focus on the environment
  • First-line focus on foreboding

The recognizable patterns in thriller opening lines

The opening line of a thriller has a difficult job. In a single sentence it must capture attention and convince readers that the story is worth their time.

While great first lines vary in style, there are some recognizable patterns. Understanding these can help writers craft first sentences that hook readers immediately.
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Below we’ll look at seven types of thriller opening lines – each illustrated with examples from published novels – and examine why they work and what writers can learn from them.

What these opening lines have in common

Despite their differences, superb thriller first lines usually share several notable qualities:
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  • Stakes: suggests that a character’s in danger or facing a threatening predicament
  • Curiosity: creates intrigue whereby readers have at least one question they want answered
  • Tension or conflict: hints that something is wrong
  • Voice: Establishes a tone that makes us interested or invested in the narrator
  • Momentum:  Gives the reader a reason to keep moving through the prose.

1. First-line focus on a pursuit

Some thrillers begin with motion already underway: someone is chasing, escaping or searching.

Example: The Gunslinger, Stephen King (Hodder Paperback edition, 2003)
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​The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.
​Why it works
Readers are thrust straight into the middle of a high-stakes chase. In a single line, we sense the tension: one character fleeing, another in pursuit. The sentence immediately conveys motion, suspense and intrigue, and prompts questions like: Who are these figures and what is at stake?
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NOTABLE QUALITIES: Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Momentum

Lesson for writers
Movement signals urgency. Starting with that signals that the story is already underway and that the reader has arrived in the middle of something important.

2. First-line focus on psychological mindset

These first lines hook readers by revealing a shocking fact, personal truth or secret. They often feel rather confessional create powerful psychological intrigue because they invite readers into a character’s headspace.

Example 1: Dark Places, Gillian Flynn (Phoenix edition, 2010)
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I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ.
Why it works
The opening plunges readers into the narrator’s psyche, exposing an unsettling inner darkness before any plot events occur. This early insight builds psychological tension, making us question the narrator’s reliability and wonder how their mindset will shape the story.

NOTABLE QUALITIES: ​Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Voice

Example 2: The Martian, Andy Weir (Del Rey edition, 2014)
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​​I’m pretty much fucked.
Why it works
In those first four words, the narrator signals that disaster has struck. The candid, no-nonsense tone generates immediate suspense, encouraging readers to ask: What has happened? How will the character cope?

NOTABLE QUALITIES: Stakes | Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Voice

​Lesson for writers
Confessional first lines can draw readers directly into a character’s predicament or provide striking psychological insight in just a few words. These two examples are also good reminders that a strong narrative voice can be just as compelling as action or a crime.

3. First-line focus on a shocking statement

A bold or disturbing statement can grab readers immediately, forcing them to confront moral tension or danger.

Example: I Will Find You, Harlan Coben (Penguin edition, 2023)
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I am serving the fifth year of a life sentence for murdering my own child.
Why it works
A single, startling sentence conveys both shock and intrigue. It instantly raises questions and emotional stakes. Readers want to understand the circumstances that led the narrator, speaking directly to us, to this moment.

NOTABLE QUALITIES: Stakes | Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Voice | Momentum
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Lesson for writers
A single unexpected statement can create a powerful hook if it suggests a deeper story.

5. First-line focus on a crime or transgression

Some thrillers’ opening lines reveal a crime or transgression that has already occurred or is in progress.

Example: Paradise, Toni Morrison (Vintage edition, 1999)
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​They shoot the white girl first.
Why it works
The sentence is shocking, violent and blunt, though we’re not given any context. That ambiguity forces readers to ask questions: Who are ‘they’? Who are the other girls that it’s implied are also going to be shot? Why have these girls been targeted?

NOTABLE QUALITIES: Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Momentum
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Lesson for writers
Introducing the crime early tells readers exactly what kind of story they’re entering.

6. First-line focus on the environment 

Some thrillers begin by establishing an unsettling atmosphere.

Example 1: Neuromancer, William Gibson (Gateway edition, 2016)
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The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel.
Why it works
This line uses a striking image to establish a bleak, dystopian environment. It signals that the world of the story may feel strange or unsettling.

NOTABLE QUALITIES: Tension or conflict | Voice

Example 2: The Day of the Jackal, Frederick Forsyth (Arrow edition, 2011)
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​It is cold at six-forty in the morning of a March day in Paris, and seems even colder when a man is about to be executed by firing squad.
Why it works
This opening sentence starts with information about the weather and the time. It could have been dull, but the author uses it as an artful anchor for the life‑or‑death clause that follows. The stark, cold setting mirrors the flat, cold voice, as if the narrator has accepted the inevitability of the execution.

NOTABLE QUALITIES: Stakes | Tension or conflict | Voice
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Lesson for writers
A vivid or unusual image can establish tone while creating curiosity about the setting. And environmental information can be highly effective as long as it’s used to amplify a character’s mood.

7. First-line focus on foreboding

This type of opening signals that something terrible has already happened, or is about to happen.

Example 1: Everybody Knows, Jordan Harper (Faber & Faber edition, 2023)
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​Los Angeles burns. 
Why it works
In just three stark words, this first line establishes a vivid, ominous setting that suggests chaos and danger. Something catastrophic is happening in a familiar city, and readers want to know what caused it and what the consequences will be.

NOTABLE ​QUALITIES: Stakes | Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Momentum

Example 2: Gone Before Goodbye, Harlan Coben and Reese Witherspoon (Penguin, 2026)​
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​I don’t hear the scream.
Why it works
In just five words, this line creates immediate tension. By emphasizing what the narrator doesn’t hear, it heightens the sense of unseen danger. The absence of sound signals that something is amiss, prompting readers to ask: What’s happening, and what threat lurks nearby?

NOTABLE ​QUALITIES: Curiosity | Tension or conflict | Momentum

​Lesson for writers
Opening lines that imply catastrophe, danger or abnormality can be incredibly effective. By hinting that something is wrong, rather than explaining it immediately,  activate the reader’s curiosity and tension, and compel them to keep going.

Summing up

A thriller’s first line doesn’t have to feature explosions or violence. What matters is that it avoids the mundane.

That means encouraging questions and making the reader feel something – for example shock, surprise, disgust, fear, confusion – so that they want to continue beyond the opening sentence and into the rest of the story.

​​About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[10 weak first lines in mysteries and thrillers (and how to fix them)]]>Thu, 02 Apr 2026 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/10-weak-first-lines-in-mysteries-and-thrillers-and-how-to-fix-themExplore 10 weak thriller opening lines and learn how to turn them into compelling hooks that grab the reader, set the tone and hint at something that piques their curiosity.
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The weight carried by the opening line

The opening line of a mystery or thriller carries an enormous amount of weight. In just a few words, it has to hook the reader, set the tone and indicate a problem or predicament that will pique the reader’s interest.

Manuscripts with first lines that feature routine description, backstory or everyday dialogue can feel flat rather than gripping.

In this article, we’ll look at 10 examples of weak first lines, explain why they don’t work, and show how small revisions can turn them into compelling hooks.

If you’re writing a mystery, crime novel or psychological thriller, these examples will help you craft a first sentence that immediately grabs readers … and keeps them wanting to read.

Example 1: Generic description

​Weak first line
  • It was a cold and rainy night in the city.
Why it’s ineffective
The description is generic and objective. There’s no character, no tension and no intrigue.

Suggested improvement
  • The rain washed the blood toward the storm drain before anyone noticed the body.
Why the revision helps
The objectivity remains, but now the reader is immediately introduced to a crime – one that makes us ask questions: Whose body? How did they die? And by whose hand?

Example 2: Routine activity

Weak first line
  • Detective Harris sat down at his desk and found the murder weapon waiting for him. ​
Why it’s ineffective
While there’s a human being involved in this line, Harris’s actions are mundane. The sentence is front loaded with activity related to where he sits. Even though a murder weapon is mentioned, that’s not particularly interesting given the detective’s job.
There’s no reason for us to do anything with this line than skim over it.

Suggested improvement
  • Detective Harris stared at the murder weapon – handcrafted blade, premium steel, artisan finish, and identical to the one his son had bought only four days earlier.
Why the revision helps
Now there’s a conundrum for us to consider – the familiarity of the weapon. This creates a pressure point for Harris, and a mystery that readers want an explanation for.

Example 3: Focus on backstory 

Weak first line
  • Martha had always loved living in the quiet town of Hemsby.
Why it’s ineffective
The focus here is on the past rather than the present, and that backstory is generalised and mundane.

Suggested improvement
  • The first dead body in Hemsby appeared three houses down from Martha’s front door.
​Why the revision helps
Now there’s momentum. The word ‘first’ introduces foreshadowing – readers will assume that there’s more than one dead body. The mention of proximity to a named character forces us to wonder about her role: Is Martha a potential victim, too, or is she a transgressor?  

Example 4: No intrigue

Weak first line
  • John woke up early that morning and checked the time.
Why it’s ineffective
So what? the reader might think. Waking up early in the morning is not intriguing. It’s commonplace.

Suggested improvement
  • John woke to the sound of someone unlocking his front door.
Why the revision helps
Now there’s immediate tension. The word ‘someone’ implies that another person entering the house is unexpected. And yet ‘unlocking’ suggests they have a key. That leads to readers asking questions: Who’s in his space? Should they be there? Is John in danger?

Example 5: Vague observation

Weak first line
  • The small town felt peaceful that morning.
Why it’s ineffective
This line tells us readers nothing about why they should care about this peaceful place, nor why they should carry on reading about it.
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Suggested improvement
  • The town felt peaceful – until the police divers pulled the suitcase out of the lake.
Why the revision helps
The revised line is still told from an objective perspective, and the peacefulness has been left intact. However, that information is now sharply juxtaposed with a shocking discovery. Using contrast helps to create surprise and intrigue.

Example 6: Dull dialogue

Weak first line
  • “Morning,” Tom said as he poured coffee.
Why it’s ineffective
This is mundane speech – the kind of thing millions of people say to each other at times and spaces across the entire planet. It won’t compel a reader to continue.
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Suggested improvement
  • “I didn’t do it,” Tom said, though in truth he couldn’t be sure.
Why the revision helps
Now we have an instant mystery. Readers will wonder what the ‘it’ is that Tom didn’t do, and they’ll want to know why he’s doubting himself. 

Example 7: Tensionless thoughts

Weak first line
  • Emily drove to work, thinking about her busy day.
Why it’s ineffective
There’s no pressure point in this character thought. It’s skimmable information.
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Suggested improvement
  • Emily was halfway to work when the radio announced that her husband had been murdered.
Why the revision helps
Now we understand the possible emotional stakes in play. Maybe this information comes as a horrific shock to Emily. Or maybe it will be revealed that she killed him. It actually doesn’t matter. All that’s important is that this is personal, and the reader will be invested in understanding why. 

Example 8: Boring environment

Weak first line
  • The office building is large and modern.
Why it’s ineffective
The description feels flat and doesn’t convey any personality or tension.
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Suggested improvement
  • ​The modern office block has thirty floors, but I’ll need only one to end Xavier Flint’s life.
Why the revision helps
Now we have an anonymous narrator with a clear agenda. While the motive is as yet unclear, which creates suspense, the tone is distinctly menacing. Readers will be wondering who this character is and what Flint’s done to evoke such anger.

Example 9: Flat impact

Weak first line
  • The police station is bustling when the missing girl walks through the door.
Why it’s ineffective
This at least introduces an interesting premise – that of the return of a missing person. However, it feels a little flat and lacks impact.
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Suggested improvement
  • Sally Flowers has been missing for eleven years, three months and two days – and she’s just walked through the door.
Why the revision helps
In the revised version, the missing person has a name. And by leading with punchy description of how long Flowers has been missing for, the follow-up clause about her unexpected return creates shock and intrigue.

Example 10: No threat

Weak first line
  • You take an envelope from the mailbox, open it, and remove a photograph.
Why it’s ineffective
While the use of a second-person narrative hints at voyeurism, there’s nothing in that line that indicates anything’s out of whack.
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Suggested improvement
  • The envelope you’ve taken from the mailbox contains a photograph – of you last night, sleeping.
Why the revision helps
The expository information about the mailbox, envelope and photograph are still there, as is the voyeuristic narration. However, by giving readers a small nudge about what’s in that image, there’s an imminent sense of threat.

Summing up

A great opening line to any thriller or mystery usually does at least one of these things:

  • Stakes: suggests that a character’s in danger or facing a threatening predicament
  • Curiosity: creates intrigue whereby readers have at least one question they want answered
  • Tension or conflict: hints that something is wrong
  • Voice: Establishes a tone that makes us interested or invested in the narrator
  • Momentum:  Gives the reader a reason to keep moving through the prose.

If these aren't evident in your first line, it’s worth revisiting.

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[How to hook readers: The first 5 pages of a thriller]]>Thu, 26 Mar 2026 09:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-hook-readers-the-first-5-pages-of-a-thrillerLearn what every thriller must accomplish in its first five pages, including compelling opening lines, early pressure points, clear viewpoint characters and narrative momentum. Discover how to hook readers, build tension and set the stage for a gripping, page-turning story from the very first sentence.
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In this article

  • Why the first five pages are a pitch to the reader
  • Compelling opening lines
  • Pressure points
  • Clear viewpoint characters
  • Early momentum

Why the first 5 pages are a pitch to the reader

Thrillers live or die by their opening pages. We can think of them as a hook or a pitch – the thing that convinces readers to invest in the rest of the novel. This is the space that sets the tone, whets the appetite and sells the idea of what’s to come.

Readers pick up a thriller expecting immediate tension, momentum and intrigue. An editor will be looking for those same qualities too.
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Here’s what you should look out for when reviewing your first five pages.

1. Is the opening line compelling?

The very first line in a novel sets expectations for the entire story. When it comes to thrillers, readers love hearing a distinctive voice, a sense of movement or tension, and a hint of the predicament or situation a character’s dealing with.

Weak opening lines
These often begin with neutral description or background information. For example:

  • The sun rose over the quiet town of Ashford as people began their day.
  • The office was quiet, and everyone was busy at their desks.
  • "I can’t believe it’s Monday already,” Malik said, sipping his coffee and looking out the window at the parking lot. “Do you think the boss will schedule that meeting again today?’

These opening lines struggle because nothing specific or interesting is happening. The information is generic. There are no stakes and no reason for the reader to be curious.

Strong opening lines
Strong opening lines feature a character in motion or a problem.

Harlan Coben is brilliant at writing knock-out opening lines. Take a look at these examples and compare them with the yawn fest above:

  • Here is how you destroy a life. (Think Twice, Penguin, 2024)
  • You never meant to kill him. (The Innocent, Orion, 2009)
  • I sat in the back pew and watched the only woman I would ever love marry another man. (Six Years, Orion 2013)
  • I am serving the fifth year of a life sentence for murdering my own child. (I Will Find You, Penguin, 2023)
  • They buried Joe three days after his murder. (Fool Me Once, Penguin, 2023)
  • I don’t hear the scream. (Gone Before Goodbye, with Reese Witherspoon, Penguin, 2026)

Notice how he zooms right in on a problem – rejection, harm, murder.

It’s not just that Coben gets to the point. It’s that he injects so much emotion into each of those sentences. He does this by making sure that the psychic distance between the reader and the narrator feels close, like the character is talking to us intimately …

There’s oodles of suspense too. Absolutely no way are we putting down any of those books after we’ve read their opening lines because, in just a few words, the author has made us a promise – that having set the scene he will answer the questions we’re already asking:

  • whose life was destroyed in Think Twice
  • why the person ended up dead in The Innocent
  • whether the character will end up getting his girl back in Six Years
  • how the child ended up dead in I Will Find You
  • who murdered Joe in Fool Me Once
  • who’s screaming and why in Gone Before Goodbye.

Tip for writers and editors
If the opening line doesn’t pique the reader’s curiosity, or create tension or intrigue, consider a recast.

2. Have you introduced a pressure point?

A thriller's first five pages don’t need to be infused with violence or high-octane action, but they should show the reader where the pressure is.

Weak pressure
Review your first few pages and make sure they’re not dominated by the routine and mundane. Waking up, commuting and casual conversations risk making your reader skim.

​Readers of the genre expect to be thrilled, and if you don’t satisfy that appetite early on, they may disengage and start wondering when the story’s going to pick up.

Strong pressure
Here’s how authors might could inject pressure points into the early pages of their stories:

  • a looming threat
  • a dangerous situation
  • a mystery that demands an answer
  • a character facing a difficult decision.
  • a crime or suspicious event
  • a secret or conspiracy
  • a race against time.

Tip for writers and editors
Scan the first pages for early conflict or unusual events. Ask yourself this: Is there an indication that something’s already wrong or off? If not, and exposition or a calm setup are dominating, consider how curiosity, danger or high stakes could be introduced.

3. Is a clear point-of-view character present?

When readers can step into a character’s perspective early on, they become engaged faster and more deeply invested in the story.

It doesn’t have to be the protagonist. It could be an anonymous antagonist or transgressor. It could be a victim. The point is that we want to know whose story we’re following in those first few pages.

Weak perspectives
A thriller whose early pages focus on vague, objective information with no emotional resonance can distance readers. We end up not understanding who we’re supposed to be rooting for or who we want to see stopped.

Strong perspectives
Readers are people. They know what it is to be human – to love, to fear, to hate, to despair.

​Compelling opening pages feed that innate knowledge. They provide information that helps us invest in a particular character, even if that emotional investment is negative.
We should get an early sense of the following:

  • what the character’s role is in the story
  • why they’re interesting
  • what the stakes are for them
  • why it’s personal or emotional, even if the plot involves big-picture events such as terrorism, conspiracies or assassinations.

​Tip for writers and editors
Consider whether the first five pages tell readers what the viewpoint character stands to lose, why this situation matters to them and what is motivating them to act? If those personal stakes aren’t shown early on, the prose will feel flat and readers might switch off.

4. Have you created momentum?

Thrillers rely heavily on forward movement throughout, but the opening pages are particularly critical because that’s where writers get their first chance to earn readers’ trust and prove that momentum will be attended to.

Weak momentum
The first five pages are not the place for information dumps that provide:

  • expository background detail
  • technical explanation
  • detailed worldbuilding.

There is definitely a place for all of that stuff, but it’s better to introduce it appropriately after the story has got moving, particularly if it’s detailed. Not doing so means things could end up feeling rather static.

Strong momentum
Early pages that focus tightly on a problem, a mystery, a decision or an unusual situation will hold readers’ attention. We don’t need to be given all the answers or supporting information at this point – there’s a whole novel to do that. And in fact, not having all the background helps build intrigue and drive curiosity.

The opening five pages of TM Logan’s 29 Seconds (Zaffre, 2018) give a superb example of narrative momentum. Readers are offered the following:

  • We meet the main character
  • A stranger offers her a mysterious one-time deal that could change her life
  • She is sexually harassed by a drunk colleague.

Throughout these few pages we’re presented with, first, a mystery, then tension as she tries to manage her shock and fear during the harassment. There are more questions than answers, but Logan makes us wait, concentrating on momentum rather than filling in all the detail.

Tip for writers and editors
Focus on motion rather than explanations in the first five pages. That energy will ensure that readers are prepared to wait for the detail that fills in all the gaps.

Summing up

The first five pages of a thriller should do four things:

  • start with a compelling first line
  • establish what the problem is – what’s causing the tension
  • introduce a compelling character for the reader to invest in
  • create a mystery that drives the story forward.

When those elements are in place, readers will want to turn pages 6, 7 and beyond. 

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Character names in crime fiction, mysteries and thrillers]]>Sat, 21 Mar 2026 09:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/character-names-in-crime-fiction-mysteries-and-thrillersLearn about why character names matter, how to approach the ‘hard-to-pronounce’ issue, and practical strategies for making your characters memorable, readable and believable.
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In this article

  • Why character names are more than just labels
  • Why names matter
  • Embracing diversity in character naming
  • ‘Hard-to-pronounce’ names
  • Helping readers with pronunciation
  • Helping readers with naming conventions
  • Names as character signposts
  • Balancing uniqueness with readability
  • The role of nicknames and titles
  • Testing names in context
  • Other common pitfalls to watch out for

Why character names are more than just labels

The name you choose for a character is a vital part of storytelling. A well-chosen name can signal personality, social background, culture or even foreshadow events in your story.

On the other hand, confusing, repetitive or inconsistent names can pull readers out of the narrative, making them struggle to remember your characters or follow the plot.
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In this article, we’ll explore why character names matter, how to approach the ‘hard-to-pronounce’ issue, and look at some practical strategies for making your characters memorable, readable and believable.

Why names matter

A character’s name is often the first thing a reader learns about them. It can:

  • suggest age, gender identity or cultural background
  • indicate personality traits or social class
  • reinforce thematic elements or foreshadow events.

For example, in one of Jeff Carson’s series, the protagonist is called ‘David Wolf’. This evokes a certain intelligence, strength and cunning that blends familiarity with a primal, instinctive edge.

In Chris Brookmyre’s Places of Darkness – a novel set in the future and on a vast space station orbiting earth – the cynical security officer entangled in organized crime is called Nikki Freeman. The first name feels casual and friendly, while the last name suggests autonomy, resilience and someone unbound by convention or authority.

Consider also these two examples from Philip K Dick novels:

  • Ragle Gumm – from The Zap Gun. This is a quirky, almost comic name that reflects the character’s unusual circumstances.
  • Pris Stratton – from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?. This is a memorable and evocative name that blends beauty and artificiality.

Dick’s names often balance familiarity with eccentricity, helping readers navigate surreal, speculative worlds while subtly suggesting character traits or thematic resonance.
​
Beyond meaning, names help readers track characters across scenes. In novels with large casts and complex plots, distinct names prevent confusion. 

Embracing diversity in character naming

Today’s literary landscape is global, and character names reflect that. A name might be culturally or regionally specific, and can reflect both real-world multiculturalism and the inventive worlds of speculative crime and mystery fiction.

Speculative fiction, fantasy, science fiction and other world-building genres have long embraced invented names to convey a sense of otherworldliness or cultural specificity. In crime fiction, mystery and thrillers, readers are also increasingly encountering names from cultures and regions that they may not be familiar with.

Regional branches of the noir tradition in particular – French, Tartan, Nordic, Afro, Asian – are rich and popular, and explore human weakness, moral uncertainty and the darker side of society. With that, we get characters who have authentic names, the pronunciation of which may not at first sight be obvious  to some readers:

Examples include:
​
  • Mma Precious Ramotswe, the wise and compassionate sleuth (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith)
  • Keita Mori, the brilliant and enigmatic Japanese watchmaker with an unusual memory and remarkable abilities (The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley)
  • Kacper Ryx, the protagonist investigator who tackles theft and other mysteries in sixteenth‑century Kraków (Zły by Leopold Tyrmand)
  • Inspector Sartaj Singh, the weary Sikh police officer, and Ganesh Gaitonde, the notorious crime lord (Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra)

‘Hard-to-pronounce’ names

When thinking the challenges of pronunciation, we need to start with a question: Hard to pronounce for whom?

When we say that a name’s hard to pronounce, we have to recognize that all we’re doing is reflecting our own personal perceptions and language abilities. There is no such thing as a universally ‘hard-to-pronounce’ name.

What I – as a white, British person who’s something of a monoglot and not nearly as well travelled as I’d like to be – might find hard to pronounce is not what someone else might struggle with.

Consider the examples I gave above – Mma Precious Ramotswe, Keita Mori, Kacper Ryx, Sartaj Singh and Ganesh Gaitonde. Those with a more intimate knowledge of life in Botswana, Japan, Poland and India would not need help pronouncing those character names in the way I would.
​
The answer isn’t to choose alternative names and rip the authenticity from the novel in service of Western European or North American readers' comfort zones. Instead, authors wanting to help out their audience and maximise engagement can take various steps …

Helping readers with pronunciation

It’s great to see diversity in the genre because this reflects the diversity in the readership base. Authors, however, do have to recognize that naming characters in ways that are universally accessible (at least on first read) is an impossible task.

That diversity will necessarily introduce challenges for some, and names that feel unfamiliar could trip them up and cause disengagement, no matter how brilliant the plot.

The solution is to offer gentle cues that feel natural to the story, rather than forcing explanations on readers. That way, authors can maintain the narrative flow while helping readers engage.

Some strategies could include:
​
Phonetic hints in dialogue
Show characters correcting pronunciation naturally. For example:
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‘It’s pronounced “Ah-LEE-ah”, not “Alia”,’ she said.
That’s the approach Pulley takes in The Watchmaker of Filigree Street to help readers pronounce Keita Mori’s name.
​
Contextual clues
You could use other characters’ reactions or narrative descriptions to reinforce pronunciation subtly. For example, a viewpoint character’s narrative might go as follows:
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Again, he stumbled over the guy’s first name as he called it out. Corrected himself – tee-BOH – and glanced over at the new recruit. Thibault didn’t seem to mind, just nodded and smiled.
Glossaries or appendices
It’s not uncommon in fantasy and science fiction to include glossaries that list pronunciation alongside character names, locations and worldbuilding terms. This can be an option for crime and thriller writers too.

Helping readers with naming conventions

Some readers may be unfamiliar with naming conventions in other parts of the world. These can signal:

  • power dynamics (boss versus subordinate)
  • respect, familiarity or insult
  • cultural hierarchy within police forces, gangs and families.

​Example
In Jar City, Arnaldur Indriðason's detective and criminal characters refer to each other by first name, which reflects the patronymic naming convention in Iceland and how first names don't always indicate social intimacy.​

Explaining to readers
Crime and thriller writers can follow Indriðason's approach by including an explanatory note for readers in the front matter of the book.  

This helps the audience understand social nuance, hierarchy and cultural authenticity, which are especially important in novels where status matters.

Names as character signposts

Names can also act as subtle character signposts. They can hint at personality, social standing or plot function.
  • Personality: Short, punchy names can suggest energy or sharpness, for example ‘Max,’ ‘Tess,’ ‘Jack.’ Longer, more formal names might convey authority, tradition, or aristocracy, for example ‘Bartholomew’ or ‘Alexandria.’
  • Role in story: Villainous characters sometimes have harder, harsher-sounding names that can echo danger, like ‘Malvolo’ or ‘Draven.’ Protagonists might have smoother, friendlier-sounding names. Think about your subgenre and audience and be careful not to overdo it! Transgressors don’t usually walk around announcing their bad intentions – they look like regular people and are named like regular people.
  • Cultural or historical grounding: Carefully chosen names enrich characterization without requiring exposition. A character’s name can reflect their heritage, era or social milieu, which can add realism and depth. For example, the last name 'Singh' could be used to denote a person’s spiritual identity and commitment, and the community to which they belong. 
  • Reader tracking: In crime fiction, a memorable name helps readers track multiple suspects and allies. If there’s a crossover into speculative fiction, names can help establish cultural identity for different kingdoms or species.

Balancing uniqueness with readability

The trick is finding the sweet spot between authenticity, uniqueness and readability. Here are two practical tips:

Distinctiveness
Distinctiveness is particularly important in crime fiction, mysteries and thrillers so that readers don’t end up confusing suspects, detectives and witnesses.

  • Avoid having characters with the same name: Your reader won’t thank you if there are four people with the name ‘John’.
  • Consider whether your characters’ names sound too similar. For example, a ‘Sara’ and ‘Sarah’ in the same novel could confuse readers. So might two characters with the last names ‘Swainston’ and ‘Swanton’.

Pronounceable structure
Names should be speakable, even if that means helping your reader learn how to speak them (as discussed above). 

The role of nicknames and titles

A carefully applied nickname or title can prevent confusion while reinforcing personality or status, especially in ensemble casts.

Nicknames
These can make characters more approachable or signal relationships. One of my authors, whose characters were Polish, took this approach and it was very effective. A police officer with the last name ‘Cherniawski’ was often referred to in narrative and dialogue as Cheri, when it was appropriate to do so.

As well as signalling intimacy between characters, it also helped Western European and North American audiences shift their attention away from pronunciation and towards character action.

Titles or ranks
These are especially useful in crime, military or political fiction, for example ‘Detective Rivera’ or ‘Captain Leong’.

Aliases
These can add mystery or misdirection, particularly in thrillers and espionage.

Testing names in context

Before finalizing names, test them to make sure they work.

Read them aloud
Reading aloud is a valuable exercise in crime fiction and thrillers, where names will appear frequently in dialogue, police reports and investigative notes. A character’s name should flow within the prose rather than interrupting it.

Ask beta readers
Can they pronounce the characters’ names easily? If they’re struggling, but you’re committed to retaining the name for the purpose of authenticity, check whether there are cues you can introduce to help readers learn quickly.

Check context
Do the names you’ve chosen fit within the cultural or regional context of the novel?

Two common pitfalls to watch out for

When naming characters, watch out for:

1. Unintentional associations
You may have created characters whose heritage is different from your own. Do some research to ensure that your characters’ names don’t inadvertently evoke real people, brands or stereotypes, particularly if those conflict with the character’s persona.

For example, unless you’re writing satirical crime fiction, it won’t make sense to call a lazy, overweight investigator ‘Venus Williams’. The reader will all too frequently end up thinking of an athletic superstar, and your characterization will be undermined. Google Search is your friend here.

2. Inconsistency (especially across series)
Check that characters’ names are spelled consistently and that their titles are consistent. Ms Abi Starling shouldn’t become Miss Abby Sterling.

Maintaining a character list or spreadsheet with name spellings, nicknames and relationships can help you keep track of consistency, especially if you’re writing a book series.

A handy little tool you can use for this purpose, if you’re working in Word, is a macro called ProperNounAlyse.

Summing up

A character’s name is one of the first things a reader encounters, and it often lingers long after the story ends. Thoughtfully chosen names improve clarity, reinforce characterization and deepen immersion.

Even hard-to-pronounce or culturally specific names can work beautifully when authors provide cues, context and consistency.

In short, the best names are:
​
  • Memorable: Readers recall them easily.
  • Consistent: Spelling and usage never shift.
  • Authentic: They fit the character’s culture, background and story world.
  • Readable: They flow in prose and dialogue without tripping readers up.

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Self-editing checklist for crime, mystery and thriller writers]]>Fri, 20 Mar 2026 12:57:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/self-editing-checklist-for-crime-mystery-and-thriller-writersBefore you send your manuscript to an agent, editor or beta reader, use this comprehensive 10-step checklist to ensure your story is as tight, compelling and credible as possible.
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Why self-editing is part of the writing process

A loose end, unconvincing motive, lack of tension and suspense, or mistimed reveal can unravel an otherwise gripping story. For that reason, self-editing is more than just a final step. Instead, think of it as a critical part of your writing craft process. 

Check #1: Plot and structure: Does the mystery hold up?

Start with the backbone of your story: the plot.

Strong crime fiction and thrillers typically follow a clear trajectory – setup, investigation, escalation and resolution. That doesn’t mean the novel has to be predictable, but the reader does need to be able to see the logic in the events as they unfold.

In particular, ask yourself whether there any coincidences that solve too problems conveniently. It’s important that any key twists feel earned, rather than shoehorned in to make the story work.

Pay special attention to your ending. A satisfying resolution should feel both surprising and inevitable.
​
TIP: One useful technique is to work backwards from the reveal. Does every major plot point support that conclusion?

Check #2: Clues and red herrings: Are you playing fair?

Crime, mystery and thriller readers love trying to solve the puzzle alongside the protagonist. That means you need to play fair.

Every crucial clue should have been planted before the reveal. That means finding a balance between keeping those clues obscure but not completely hidden. not hidden, but not obvious either.

As for red herrings, these need to mislead without feeling manipulative or obvious. If readers feel they’ve been tricked rather than challenged, the story loses credibility.
The Golden Age writers were particularly adept at this, making sure that all the pieces are there and, ultimately, fit together.

TIP: Ask yourself whether an attentive reader could solve this mystery well before the ending?

Check #3: Character behaviour: Is it consistent and logical?

In this genre, the transgressive behaviour hinges on human behaviour – the characters’ motives, opportunities and psychology.

Consistency doesn’t require that a character can’t change. They can, and in that case that change will be key to the story’s arc. However, that change needs to make sense for the reader and driven in a way that’s clear to them.

Review each major character and check that:
  • their motivations are clear and believable
  • their actions align with their personality, especially when they’re under pressure
  • the suspects are distinct enough for readers to keep track of them.
 
TIP: Pay special attention to your antagonist. Their actions must make sense within the logic of the story. A brilliant twist won’t land well if the character behind it feels underdeveloped or inconsistent.

Check #4: Character names: Are they distinct?

Confusion is the enemy of tight crime and thriller writing. And nothing’s more confusing that when characters have the same names.

Of course, that’s something we experience in everyday life, but when it comes to novel writing, readers need to be able to identify who’s who. That becomes even more important when you’re writing a series because to ensure continuity, there’ll be no going back!

Make sure that:
  • each first name is distinct to avoid confusing readers, especially when there are multiple suspects (no reader will thank you if there are four Johns and five Wills/Bills)
  • you’ve avoided overly similar-sounding first and last names or repeating initials
  • the name reflects the character’s age, culture and social context
  • you verify spelling, titles and surnames to ensure they’ve remained the same from chapter to chapter (or even book to book in a series).

TIP: Create  a simple character list or spreadsheet to track names, titles, appearances, traits and relationships.

Check #5: Timeline and continuity: Does everything add up?

Crime, mystery and thrillers often involve intricate timelines – alibis, movements, sequences of events. This is where many drafts fall apart.

Comb your draft manuscript and check the following:
  • Do all events occur in a logical order?
  • Are alibis consistent and verifiable?
  • Are there any contradictions in time, place or action?

TIP: ​Creating a separate timeline document can make this job easier. List exactly where each character is at every key moment. If something doesn’t line up there, it won’t line up for your reader either.

Check #6: Procedure: Is it plausible but engaging?

You don’t need to be a forensic expert to write in this genre, but your story does need to feel plausible, even if the setting is speculative.

Chris Brookmyre’s Places in the Darkness is a superb example. It follows a murder investigation on a near-future space station, where politics, class and human behaviour drive the mystery. Despite the speculative setting, it feels plausible because the crime – and its motives – are grounded in recognisably human conflicts.

Bear in mind that fiction can become dull if it mirrors real investigations too closely – lots of details about paperwork, delays and routine steps can drain tension and suspense.

Check the following:
  • Are investigative procedures plausible?
  • Is the forensic detail accurate within the novel’s world-build?
  • Is the forensic detail useful but not overwhelming?
  • Are legal consequences believable?

TIP: Prioritise tension over total realism. Include only the procedural details that increase the stakes, help the reader make sense of the investigation or reveal a character more deeply.

Check #7: Is the dialogue engaging and purposeful?

Dialogue is one of the most powerful tools for building tension and revealing character.

When a character’s speech focuses too much on everyday but mundane information – like discussions about the weather or how people take their coffee – readers can become bored, even though what’s being said would happen in real life.

As you edit:
  • cut any lines that don’t serve a purpose
  • ensure that each major character has a distinct and consistent voice
  • avoid using dialogue purely for exposition, sometimes called maid-and-butler dialogue.

TIP: Read your dialogue aloud. If it feels awkward to say, it’ll feel awkward to read.

Check #8: Pacing and suspense: Do they keep readers hooked?

Crime, mysteries and thrillers need to pull readers forward relentlessly.

Each scene should either advance the plot, deepen character or increase tension – ideally all three. If it doesn’t, consider cutting or rewriting it.

Look out for:
  • sections where the story drags or stalls
  • overlong descriptions that slow momentum
  • chapters that end in a way that doesn’t urge readers to turn the page.

TIP: End every chapter with a question or unresolved tension. This article has 7 suggestions that will help you do that at line level.

Check #9: Point of view: Are the shifts in perspective clear?

When readers have access to what’s going on in every character’s head in a single scene, head-hopping might be in play.

That can rip tension and suspense from your novel because readers know what everyone’s thinking and feeling. Nothing’s withheld.

More crucially, perhaps, it stops them investing in a character’s experience in the moment. The psychic distance widens and makes them feel like they’re a distant observer rather than a participant.

Of course, it’s fine to have more than one viewpoint character, but check that:
  • you’ve chosen a consistent viewpoint approach throughout the novel
  • any shifts from one character’s perspective to another’s are intentional and clearly signposted
  • you give your readers opportunities to feel almost like they’re in a single character’s head

TIP: Highlight every sentence in which there’s information that your POV character couldn’t directly perceive or know. If anything slips through (another character’s thoughts, unseen actions), you’ve broken viewpoint, and it’s time to revise so everything is filtered strictly through that character’s experience.

Check #10: Line craft: Is your writing sharp?

Effective line craft sharpens prose by making every sentence purposeful, precise and engaging. When we line edit, we’re seeking to enhance clarity, tone and rhythm and to eliminate excess.

That way the story flows smoothly and keeps readers immersed. Zoom in on your narrative and focus on the following:
  • Cutting repetition and filler.
  • Replacing vague descriptions with specific details.
  • Eliminating clichés and overused phrases.
  • Considering every adverb to make sure it’s not telling what’s already been shown through dialogue and action.

TIP: Trust your readers, then cut unnecessary words. If a word, phrase or sentence doesn’t reveal character, advance the plot or heighten tension, remove it.

Summing up

Robust self-editing will mean your draft is in the best shape possible before it goes to someone else. It might feel like a time-consuming thing to do, but it will save you time in the long run, and perhaps even money.

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[How to use AI tools ethically when editing or proofreading]]>Wed, 04 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-use-ai-tools-ethically-in-editing-when-editing-or-proofreadingLearn about how to use AI tools ethically when editing or proofreading.
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​Summary of Episode 151

Find out more about the following:
  • What do we mean by 'AI tools' in editing?
  • The ethical questions
  • Protecting client confidentiality
  • Being transparent with clients
  • Accountability
  • Respecting authorship
  • Staying informed and critical
  • Real-world scenarios
  • The editor's role in shaping AI ethics
  • AI Use and Ethics Checklist (free resource)

Listen to Episode 151

Get the podcast book series

These five guides (available in print or ebook) capture the essence of our conversations on the podcast covering five core themes: editorial foundations, growth, sustainability, legacy and marketing. Buy now from from Amazon or find out more about the series.

Support The Editing Podcast

  • Tip your hosts: Support Louise and Denise with a one-off tip of your choosing.
  • Join our Patreon community: Our patrons benefit from access to PDF transcripts for episodes featuring just Louise and Denise, and for some of our guest episodes. Members of our Second Cup tier get extra free bonus content too!

Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
  • Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
  • Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Save time editing in Word with Quick Parts]]>Wed, 04 Feb 2026 17:00:31 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/save-time-editing-in-word-with-quick-partsLearn how to edit more efficiently in Microsoft Word using the Quick Parts tool.
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​In this article ...

  • What Quick Parts is
  • Why Quick Parts makes editing more efficient
  • Common editing tasks you can streamline with Quick Parts
  • How to create a Quick Part
  • How to insert a Quick Part while editing
  • How to review or edit your Quick Parts
  • Tips for naming your Quick Parts
  • Quick Parts versus third-party text-expansion tools

Do you edit in Word?

If you edit Word documents, and find yourself typing the same phrases, inserting standard text blocks or fixing the same formatting issues over and over again, Microsoft Word has a built‑in feature that can help you: Quick Parts.

In this article, we’ll look at what Quick Parts is, why it’s so useful, and how you can start using it today to edit faster and more consistently.
​
Note: I work with the Windows operating system, so the instructions I’ve offered below align with that.

What is Quick Parts?

Quick Parts is a Microsoft Word tool that allows you to store reusable pieces of content – such as text, tables, headers and formatted paragraphs – and insert them into your document easily.

You can think of Quick Parts as a personal library of ready‑made content. Once you save something, you can reuse it across documents without retyping or copying and pasting.

This tool really comes into its own if:
​
  • you’re editing multiple documents with similar content
  • you’re editing large documents and are likely to repeat advice or guidance
  • or you work as part of a team that needs consistent wording.

Why Quick Parts makes editing more efficient

Using Quick Parts can significantly improve both your speed and accuracy when editing documents. Here’s how:

  • It saves you time by eliminating repetitive typing.
  • It improves consistency across documents.
  • It reduces errors caused by manual edits.
  • It keeps formatting intact every time you insert content.

Whether you’re editing novels, reports, proposals, policies or meeting notes, Quick Parts helps you focus on content quality rather than repetitive tasks.

​Common editing tasks you can streamline with Quick Parts

Quick Parts is especially helpful for content you use frequently, such as:

  • standard paragraphs or disclaimers
  • frequently used phrases or sentences
  • brand‑approved wording
  • headers and footers
  • tables or formatted lists
  • reviewer comments or feedback text.

​In a nutshell, if you’ve ever thought, I’ve typed this before, that’s a strong sign it belongs in Quick Parts.

How to create a Quick Part in Microsoft Word

Creating a Quick Part is simple and only takes a moment:

METHOD 1 (quickest)
  • Select the text, table or content you want to reuse.
  • Select Alt F3.
  • Give it a short, clear, descriptive name.
  • ​Click OK to save.

METHOD 2
  • Select the text, table or content you want to reuse.
  • Go to the Insert tab on the ribbon.
  • Click Quick Parts (in the Text group).
  • Select Save Selection to Quick Part Gallery.
  • Give it a short, clear, descriptive name.
  • Click OK to save.
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You can also assign a category to your Quick Part snippet if you wish:
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Whichever method you choose, your content is now stored and ready to use whenever you need it.

How to insert a Quick Part while editing

Once you’ve saved Quick Parts, inserting them is quick and easy:

METHOD 1 (quickest)
  • Place your cursor where you want the content to appear.
  • Type your short name.

METHOD 2
  • Place your cursor where you want the content to appear.
  • Go to Insert > Quick Parts.
  • Choose the item you want from the gallery.

​Whichever method you use, the content is inserted instantly with all formatting preserved.

How to review or edit your Quick Parts

If you need to change the short name you’ve created, do the following:
​
  • Go to the Insert tab on the ribbon.
  • Click Quick Parts (in the Text group).
  • Select Building Blocks Organizer.
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​A new pane will appear:
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  • To amend an item’s short name, select Edit Properties.
  • To delete an item, select Delete.

Tips for naming your Quick Parts

To get the most out of Quick Parts, use short, clear names that are easy to remember. ​Think also about how you can reduce the chance of the Quick Parts tool triggering an expansion inappropriately. 

IN-PRACTICE EXAMPLE
I edit crime fiction, thrillers and mysteries, and when I'm using the Comments tool, I like to give my author clear indications of which particular element of the editing process I’m focusing on. I do this quickly by using headings that I've set up as Quick Parts. Underneath a heading, I can then explain the problem and suggested solution.

Plus, because the various headings in the comments are consistent, I can easily search for and review them by topic area. That helps me when I'm putting together a more comprehensive analysis in an editorial report.

And to avoid the risk of Quick Parts kicking in when I don't want it to, I add a ‘z’ to my short names. Here are four topic-based headings I've set up in the tool:

  • If I type ‘zshow’ in a document, it expands to ‘SHOWING VERSUS TELLING’.
  • If I type ‘zcons’ in a document, it expands to ‘CONSCIOUS LANGUAGE'.
  • If I type 'zsus' in a document, it expands to 'SUSPENSE AND DRAMA'.
  • If I type 'zchap' in a document, it expands to 'CHAPTER ENDINGS'.

Don't forget that you can save much larger blocks of formatted text into the Quick Parts too. 

Quick Parts versus third-party text-expansion tools

You might already be familiar with third-party productivity tools such as TextExpander. These can really shine when you want to use the same snippets across multiple programs – for example, email, web browsers and other applications.

As always, it comes down to your budget, needs and preferences. 

If you want something specifically for Word‑centric editing and formatting, consider the following:

  • Quick Parts is built directly into Word, so there’s no additional software to buy, install or manage. 
  • It preserves complex formatting, tables and document‑specific styles.
  • For editors who spend most of their time in Word, Quick Parts can feel more seamless.
​
​If a separate tool would offer you more rounded support and you have the budget for it, that’s fine. You might even decide to use both in your editorial practice. 

Summing up

If you already edit extensively in Microsoft Word, the Quick Parts tool will help you reduce repetition, save time, maintain consistency and focus on what really matters: delivering clear, high‑quality content to your client.
​
And you won’t have to spend a penny more because it’s already part of Word!

​About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[8 tips for transparent AI disclosure in your editing business]]>Mon, 03 Nov 2025 17:26:34 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/8-tips-for-transparent-ai-disclosure-in-your-editing-businessHere are 8 suggestions for you to consider when disclosing how you use AI in your editing business.
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In this post​

Read on to find out more about:
  • the impact of AI on editors and proofreaders
  • why disclosure is important
  • where to disclose your AI use
  • disclosing why you use digital tools
  • disclosing who's accountable for the output
  • disclosing use of generative AI
  • disclosing specific digital tools
  • disclosing where tools are hosted
  • disclosing AI's presence and interaction
  • disclosing whether AI systems are open or closed
  • seeking consent
  • drafting your own statement
  • free checklist for you to download.

​The impact of AI on editors and proofreaders

Editors and proofreaders are already feeling the effects of AI-assisted technologies on their work.
  • Some of it’s uncomfortable – with reports of our colleagues losing clients as workflows they’d previously undertaken responsibility for have shifted to AI.
  • Some of it’s beneficial – we’re seeing opportunities for efficiency, the knock-on effect of which can be better hourly rates.​
  • And some of it’s confusing – because we might not even realize that AI’s still operating behind the scenes of some applications, even though we’re not actively using it.

​Why disclosure is important

Making time to understand whether AI is part of our editorial workflow because of the digital tools we use, and then disclosing that usage, ensures we model transparency for our clients and our community.

And when we do it, others feel inspired to do the same. That helps everyone make informed decisions based on the best information we have available at the moment.

​Being transparent also means we’re participating in a journey that fosters professional integrity and trust. Clients are more likely to feel confident in our recommendations when they see us being honest and understand which tools we’re using, why, and what the limitations and risks are.

Perhaps, like me, your approach to disclosure is a work in progress, but I think we should all be accepting of that given how rapidly the landscape around us is changing, and how complex some of the issues are!

Where to disclose your AI use

There’s no single best place. It’s up to you where you make your disclosure and how you link to it.

I work solely with indie authors and so I’ve chosen to include a section in the terms and conditions that make up my contract of services agreement. That’s because this is the text that clients are required to read prior to making a booking.

However, some of you might prefer to create a separate disclosure page and link to it from the T&Cs or your contracts. If modelling transparency is important to you, it’s less about where your disclosure is than that it exists in the first place.

What to include in your disclosure

I’ve suggested 8 things to consider for inclusion in your disclosure, though admittedly these are based on my particular needs.

If I’ve omitted anything that you think would be critical to your editorial business, please do leave a comment!

Tip 1. Why you use digital tools

This is an opportunity to state at the outset not just that you are using digital tools – and most of us are using them, though not all of them are AI-assisted – but also why.

​It shows clients that you’re able to use technology responsibly, and that the goal is to maintain professional standards for their benefit.

Example from my T&Cs
To enhance the quality, accuracy, consistency and efficiency of my editing service, I use digital tools that may have AI-assisted technologies running in the background (even if I'm not actively using them).
Reason
I want to clients to know that I’m not working in the Stone Age, and that my use of digital tools will help give them a better result.

Tip 2. Who’s accountable for the output

This is an opportunity to make it clear that regardless of a machine’s involvement in your editing process, it’s you, the editor, who’s accountable and responsible for what’s delivered.

Here you’re focusing on your human value – the sense and sensibility you bring to your work for them, even though you’re using tools to help with some of the mundane heavy-lifting.

Example from my T&Cs
All outputs are reviewed and refined by me, a qualified human editor, before delivery to ensure quality and contextual accuracy. Software and AI tools are used strictly to support my human editing process and do not replace my human judgement or professional oversight.
Reason
I want to draw attention to the fact that a human is in control of the process at all times.

Tip 3. Your use of generative AI in the editing process

Here’s where you can make a clear statement about your specific use of generative AI. It can help to clarify this because not all AI is the same.

Some editors use AI-assisted tools such as ChatGPT, Draftsmith or ProWritingAid for generative support with revisions; some might not. Being transparent helps clients understand what your particular skills are and who or what is doing the work.

Example from my T&Cs
  • ​I do not use generative AI to draft recasts of your text or make stylistic recommendations on how your book should read.
Reason
I pride myself on my stylistic line editing skills and want clients to know that I, a human editor, have the capability to do this nuanced and emotional work.

Tip 4. Which specific digital tools you use

This is where you can name the digital tools you use as part of your workflow, their specific purpose and whether they’re licenced.

You don’t have to limit yourself to AI-assisted technologies. You can include word-processing and spreadsheet software, PDF tools, consistency checkers, macros, search engines and file management tools associated with your editorial process.

Including a full list also means that when you seek a client’s consent (see #8 below), they know exactly which tools they’re consenting to the use of.

3 examples from my T&Cs
  • ​Microsoft Excel: Used for creating chapter summaries. […] via a licensed version of Microsoft 365.
  • PerfectIt: Used for consistency checking. A licensed […] Word add-in.
  • Google search: Used for fact-checking.
Reason
I want my clients to see the breadth of digital tools I use to support my service and to understand that I’m not using any old junk off the internet – where required, I have licences from reputable providers.

Tip 5. Where the tools are hosted

This is an opportunity to tell clients whether each of your tools is hosted locally, in the cloud or elsewhere. Bear in mind the following:

  • Locally hosted tools: The data stays on your computer, offering more control and privacy.
  • Cloud-hosted tools: The data is stored on external servers, enabling easy access and collaboration but requiring trust in the provider’s security.

If you’ve committed not to uploading client material to third-party sites, creating this information is a good way of double checking that you’re not in breach of that commitment.

3 examples from my T&Cs
  • ​Microsoft Word: […] Hosted locally via a licensed version of Microsoft 365.
  • PerfectIt: […] A licensed, locally hosted Word add-in.
  • Dropbox: […] Cloud-based licensed version.
Reason
By stating where my digital tools are hosted, I hope my clients will trust that I’m handling their data honestly and responsibly, but within the realms of what’s on offer and practical for my business.

Tip 6. AI’s presence and interaction

Some of the editing tools we use may have AI operating in the background, and even though we’re not using it, it’s still ‘reading’ text and transmitting data.

This is an opportunity to be honest about that, and for your client to make informed decisions about whether they’re okay with it. 

Examples from my T&Cs
  • Microsoft Word: Used for text editing and reporting. Hosted locally via a licensed version of Microsoft 365. Copilot runs in the background but I don't use it for editing. Copilot may still transmit small portions of the text in your project (commonly called 'code') to generate suggestions. Any editorial suggestions I add to your project may also be processed in this way. GitHub provides privacy controls to protect this private work. This private code will not be stored or used to improve Copilot unless I have explicitly opted in, which I have not.​
  • PerfectIt: Used for consistency checking. A licensed, locally hosted Word add-in. Does not use AI. Runs offline and does not transmit data.
Reason
​Compare the italic text in the above examples. I think it’s really important that I’m up front about the fact that Copilot is still sniffing around in the background when I’m using Microsoft Word, even though I’m not actively using the AI to suggest textual edits.

This is especially the case given that I’m not yet ready to turn the function off because I’m still exploring how it might aid efficiency with non-client work that I do in Word.

Tip 7. Use of open and closed systems 

You can also disclose whether any AI systems you use are open or closed, or what your position is on this matter.
​
  • Closed: These systems are operated by companies that keep their technology and training data private and secure. Uploaded content isn’t shared publicly or used to train AI models. It remains confidential and is processed only for the purpose of providing editing support.
  • Open: These systems make their code and data public, allowing anyone to modify or retrain them.

Providing this information shows clients that you understand the differences and are making responsible decisions.

Example from my T&Cs
  • I do not use open AI systems for client work. This ensures that your materials are never used for language model training and that your privacy and data are fully protected.
Reason
I’m still learning about AI, and the list of editorial digital tools I’m using in 2025 may look different in two years’ time. However, I want my clients to be confident that I’m using them in a way that respects their privacy to the best of my ability.

Tip 8. Seeking client consent

If your disclosure is part of your T&Cs and contract agreement, seeking consent is an opportunity for informed transparency, legal compliance and professional integrity.

It’s protects you both, and you’re being clear that there’s choice involved here. You’ve chosen to use a set of tools, but they can decide whether they’re okay with that … before the project’s underway rather than halfway into it, when it's too late.

Example from my T&Cs
  • I use reputable providers and maintain the confidentiality of your materials. However, by submitting your content for editing, you acknowledge and consent to my use of the digital tools referred to in [section] in the processing of your materials under my supervision.
  • I use reputable providers and maintain the confidentiality of your materials. However, by submitting your content for editing, you acknowledge and consent to my use of the digital tools referred to in [section] in the processing of your materials under my supervision.
Reason
I want my clients to formally agree that they’re happy for me to use the tools I’ve listed. That way, it’s part of our service agreement from the get-go and avoids misunderstandings.

Can I copy your disclosure statement?

What's right for me, my business and my clients may be partially or completely unsuitable for you and yours, so I wouldn't recommend this.

Instead, think about the tips that I and others in our community have offered up for consideration, and then use that information as a jumping-off point ... something to help you craft your own AI and digital tools disclosure statement – one that's perfect for your business.

However, if you're a member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), you can access a free webinar called Policy Foundations for Editorial Professionals. This includes prompt-based guidelines to help you build your own disclosure. Go to the on-demand area of the knowledge hub to access the webinar and companion pack.

Summing up

I hope you've found these tips useful. Creating a transparent digital tools and AI disclosure statement helps all of us professional editors to build trust, demonstrate ethical practice and ensure we're complying with privacy regulations. 

It clarifies how our clients' materials are going to be handled, distinguishes our human expertise from automated support, and protects both parties by obtaining informed consent.
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And, ultimately, by doing this, we're showing our clients that we're professionals who are committed to treating their data and creative work responsibly and securely.

Want to take a look at how I've approached the disclosure of digital tools in my terms and conditions? The button below will take you there – scroll down to section 14.
LOUISE'S AI DISCLOSURE

Free checklist

There's a free fillable checklist to help you think about your position and obligations in relation to the use of AI tools. It's available in my resource library via the button below.
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About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Glue words, hedge words and qualifiers: How to use them in fiction writing]]>Fri, 01 Aug 2025 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/glue-words-hedge-words-and-qualifiers-how-to-use-them-in-fiction-writingLearn how to identify glue words, hedges and qualifiers, and then explore whether they’re adding clarity and enhancing character voice, or cluttering your fiction writing.
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In this post ...

Read on to find out more about:
  • the function of glue words, hedge words and qualifiers
  • whether glue words, hedges and qualifiers signal poor writing
  • using glue words, hedges and qualifiers with purpose
  • ​how glue words can enhance prose
  • how hedge words can enhance prose
  • how qualifiers can enhance prose

What are glue words, hedge words and qualifiers?

Glue words, hedge words and qualifiers serve different purposes and are used in different contexts, but all relate to how language functions in writing or speech. 

The function of glue words
The function of glue words is structural. They hold or glue a sentence together. By themselves they add little semantic meaning to a sentence. Examples include:
  • prepositions (eg ‘with’)
  • conjunctions (eg ‘and’)
  • articles (eg ‘a’ and ‘the’)
  • auxiliary verbs (eg ‘is’ and ‘have’).
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​He flicked through the report to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be.
​The function of hedge words
The function of hedge words is modification. They soften or limit the strength of a claim and can introduce uncertainty, speculation, caution or humility. Examples include:
  • ‘I guess’
  • ‘maybe’
  • ‘possibly’
  • ‘might be’
  • ​‘probably’.
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Xe flicked through the report. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. The detective might even come out on xer side once she understood the background. ​

The function of qualifiers
The function of qualifiers is limitation. They narrow the meaning of another word such as a noun or adjective, and make a statement more precise. Examples include:
  • ‘kind of’
  • ‘almost’
  • ‘pretty’
  • ‘somewhat’
  • ‘very’
  • ‘really’
  • ‘a bit’.
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Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad would have said. But that was Lex all over.

Are glue words, hedges and qualifiers signal of poor writing?

No, glue words, hedges and qualifiers are not  signals of poor writing, not when they’re used with purpose.

If you’re reading guidance on using these words, watch out for statements arguing bluntly that they:
  • signal doubt instead of commitment
  • create distance between character and emotion
  • slow pace and clutter clean syntax
  • reduce impact
then step back and take a breath before you start a process of obliteration.

Why? Because this kind of prescriptivism can encourage developing writers to rip the heart and soul out of a character’s voice, emotions and layered experience.  

The key is to ensure that every word on the page is working hard for you – whether it’s a glue word, a hedging word, a qualifying word, or some other language marker.

​Using glue words, hedges and qualifiers with purpose

Instead of eliminating glue, hedging and qualifying words, review your sentences and consider whether these markers are:
  • providing grammatical structure
  • supporting character voice
  • making dialogue sound more natural
  • capturing subtext
  • enhancing variances in rhythm.

How glue words can enhance prose

Let’s look at an example of how glue words can enhance a piece of prose:
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Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad might have said. But, really, that was her all over. Very Lex. Always had been somewhat glass half full. She flicked through the report a second time to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be, but the text was all blurred – headings and words and numbers mashed up together.
This paragraph has multiple glue words including ‘was’, ‘that’, ‘despite’, ‘the’, ‘to’, ‘but’ and ‘and’. Think of them as the cement that holds the prose together, ensuring that the prose maintains a smooth syntactic flow even when internal thought becomes more fragmented or reflective.
​
But note also the rhythmic tool in play in the final clause – the use of multiple gluing conjunctions (polysyndeton) to show rather than tell Lex’s overwhelm as she looks at the report.

Glue words can therefore go beyond their structural function. They can also be used as a literary mechanism to evoke mood and emotion.

How hedge words can enhance prose

The example also contains instances of hedging language including ‘might have said’, ‘somewhat’ and ‘might be’.
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Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad might have said. But, really, that was her all over. Very Lex. Always had been somewhat glass half full. She flicked through the report a second time to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be, but the text was all blurred – headings and words and numbers mashed up together.
These hedges reflect Lex’s tentativeness in terms of her dad’s opinion, the prosecutor’s strategy and her own self-judgement about her positivity, and this helps readers understand how she bends towards reflection and uncertainty.

The language also helps the writer convey a more realistic voice that carries nuanced emotional conflict. Lex is trying to be rational but her doubt is intruding. Through this, readers are shown how people rarely speak or think in absolutes.

How qualifiers can enhance prose

The qualifiers in the excerpt adjust the meaning of the words they modify to give reads more emotional texture.
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Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad might have said. But, really, that was her all over. Very Lex. Always had been somewhat glass half full. She flicked through the report a second time to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be, but the text was all blurred – headings and words and numbers mashed up together.
  • ​​‘pretty’ reduces the strength of ‘sure’.
  • ‘almost’ tempers ‘certainly’.
  • ‘a little’ shows how Lex is trying to downplay her own negativity.
  • ‘really’ adds emphasis to her self-analysis.
  • ‘Very’ acts as a clipped intensifier that introduces a nudge towards mild humour and irony’
  • ‘somewhat’ softens ‘glass half full’.
Overall, the interplay of glue words, hedges and modifiers creates a narrative tone that avoids the extremes of melodrama or stoicism, and instead takes a middle ground that deepens our understanding of Lex as introspective, thoughtful, quietly resigned and gently self-critical.

Summing up

Glue words, hedge words and qualifiers can be effective writing devices when they’re used with purpose.

Don’t ditch yours without first analysing them so you understand whether they’re working for your prose.

If they’re just adding to your word count needlessly, remove or rework them. However, if they’re providing your characters with emotional complexity and intelligence, and enhancing the structure, flow and mood of your sentences, embrace them!

Other resources you might like

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Embedded dialogue: How to capture speech memory in narrative]]>Mon, 14 Jul 2025 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/embedded-dialogue-how-to-capture-speech-memory-in-narrativeThis post explores how to use embedded dialogue snippets and what effect they have on tone, character and flow.
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​In this post ...

Read on to find out more about:
  • capturing speech memory
  • what embedded dialogue is
  • when to use embedded dialogue
  • when active dialogue works
  • the difference between embedded dialogue different and free indirect speech.

Capturing speech memory

Dialogue doesn’t only happen in real time. Sometimes a character recalls what was said or what they half-heard, or they mentally echo something that was stated in the past. This is speech memory.
​
Done well, capturing those moments on the page enhances the reader’s experience. It can affect the mood and flow, and subtly shine a narrative light on one particular character, while still revealing how others interacted verbally with them.

What is embedded dialogue?

Embedded dialogue is reported speech or remembered lines that are woven into the narrative. The quotation marks and dialogue tags that we’d expect to see in active, real-time dialogue are omitted. Here's an example that compares the two approaches:
Active dialogue plus narrative:
  • “You never really see me,” he’d said. But once again, he’d made it all about him, hadn’t he?
Dialogue embedded in the narrative:
  • ​He’d told her she never really saw him. But once again, he’d made it all about him, hadn’t he?
While the reader gets the same information, the mood is different. The active-dialogue version feels punchier, more immediate. The embedded-dialogue version feels more contemplative.

When to use embedded dialogue

1. To reflect a character’s processing of a memory of speech
A remembered line can reveal emotion or motive without cutting to a flashback or breaking the scene.
​
​Here are a couple of embedded-dialogue examples:
  • She'd said he was born angry. Maybe she was right.
  • Johnny had specifically told me not to open the bag. So why had I just done the complete opposite?
​Active-dialogue versions might look like this:
  • “You were born angry.” That’s what she’d said. Maybe she was right.
  • ​“Don’t open the bag,” Johnny had said. So why had I just done the complete opposite?
Again, neither of these versions – the embedded or active dialogue – are right or wrong. But they do convey a different mood, and the prose flows differently. The active dialogue versions are blunter, terser and highlight different voices. The embedded dialogue is smoother and less tense, and highlights one voice.

2. To keep the focus on the viewpoint character and their present tension
Recalling memories of the spoken words can add weight to prose without shifting the spotlight away from the viewpoint character's perspective in the now.

Here are two embedded-dialogue examples:
  • The judge had warned him: one more slip, and that was it. This, it seemed, was the slip.
  • ​He’d told himself not to look back. That the future was what counted. A fresh start.
Active-dialogue versions might look like this:
  • The judge had warned him: “One more slip, and that’s it.” This, it seemed, was the slip.
  • “Don’t look back,” he’d said to himself. “It’s the future that counts. A fresh start.”
I think the embedded dialogue feels much more grounded in the characters’ immediate conundrums. It's their voice that shines through. The active dialogue, however, even with the pluperfect (past-perfect) speech tags, pulls the reader out of the present and shines a light on other characters' speech.

3. To avoid disruption
Long dialogue flashbacks can derail pacing. Embedded snippets allow you to fold the past into present seamlessly.

​Again, here are two embedded-dialogue examples:
  • He remembered what the old man used to say about control – it’s only real when you don’t have it … just fear in disguise that he shouldn't obsess over.
  • That gumshoe detective had asked him about Denise’s whereabouts that night, what they’d talked about, what they’d eaten for dinner. Jack hadn’t paid much attention at the time – he’d no reason to doubt her. Still, thinking about it now, it was a little weird.
Now let’s turn that into active dialogue:
  • The old man used to say, “Control is only real when you don’t have it. It’s just fear in disguise. Try not to get obsessed with it.”
  • ​That gumshoe detective had fired questions at him: “Where was Denise that night? Can you recall what you talked about or what you ate for dinner?” Jack hadn’t paid much attention at the time – he’d no reason to doubt her. Still, thinking about it now, it was a little weird.
I think the active-dialogue versions are disruptive because the recalled speech is so lengthy and flips the focus onto the past speakers.

​However, in the embedded-dialogue versions, the flow of the narrative captures the past speech but maintains the smooth flow of the prose and keeps the reader’s gaze firmly on the current viewpoint characters.

4. To add variety to how 'remembered' dialogue is displayed
Using a mixture of embedded and active dialogue can add variety to how remembered speech is displayed, making it more interesting for the reader.

Here's an example that includes both:
  • The last thing I wanted was to aggravate those two goons who'd trashed my apartment the previous week. Next time, they'd informed me, it wouldn't just be the dining table that got broken. It would be my legs. And my arms. "In fact, if it's attached to you and we can snap it, we will,” the beefier of the two had advised me.
Here, the two styles work with each other to capture multiple speaker voices, but in a way that still ensures the first-person narrator's immediate experience remains dominant.

When active dialogue works

Active dialogue is brilliant in the following circumstances:
​
  • A single character is recalling speech said in the past, but it’s (a) short and (b) you actively want to create a more staccato rhythm and grittier mood.
  • Two or more characters are interacting and it’s important to hear their words.
  • You want readers to interpret tone directly from the speaker’s voice rather than the narrator’s.

The difference between embedded dialogue and free indirect speech

Both free indirect speech and embedded dialogue are narrative techniques used to represent characters’ thoughts or speech, but they differ in structure and how much the narrator mediates the character's voice.
​
Here are two examples:
Example 1. Free indirect speech:
  • She walked to the window. Why was he so late? He always made her wait.
Notice how this feels more subjective. The psychic distance between the reader and the character is very close. 
​
Free indirect speech is all about the viewpoint character and focuses on conveying what’s going on in their head now.
Example 2. Embedded dialogue:
  • She walked to the window, wondering why he was so late. He always said he'd be on time.
Notice how this feels a little more objective and told because of the expository filter word ‘wondering’ and ‘speech-memory indicator ‘said he’d’. The psychic distance is a little wider in this case, as if the prose is being told by the narrator.

Embedded dialogue is all about the viewpoint character’s recollection; it holds the essence of memory … that something specific was actually said in the past.

​Neither is right or wrong. Instead, free indirect speech and embedded dialogue serve different purposes, and so one might work better than the other depending on what the author’s trying to achieve.

Summing up

Embedded dialogue snippets let you carry the weight of past speech without quoting every line. Use them to deepen character, maintain narrative flow and give your prose a more intimate texture.
​
When done well, embedded dialogue allows the past to echo through to the present, shaping motive and mood without slowing the action. It’s not just about what was said, but how your viewpoint character remembers it.

Other resources you might like

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[5 books to help you build, grow, sustain and promote your editorial business]]>Mon, 07 Jul 2025 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/new-5-book-series-from-the-editing-podcast-hostsLearn about editorial foundations, growth, sustainability, legacy and marketing with this 5-book series from the hosts of The Editing Podcast.
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Fancy reading some of the core takeaways from The Editing Podcast? Notes from the Podcast is a brand-new book series that focuses on five core areas of editorial business development.
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What’s in the series?

Currently there are five books in the Notes from the Podcast series, all focusing on what Denise and I like gassing about the most – running, growing, sustaining and marketing an editing and proofreading business.
  • Editorial Foundations – helps editors and proofreaders who are setting up their new businesses. It captures the conversations we’ve had about building a freelance business from the ground up.
  • Editorial Growth – helps early- to mid-career editors and proofreaders who want to grow, focus and professionalize. The Notes capture our discussions about refining, marketing and elevating a freelance editing practice.
  • Editorial Sustainability – helps more experienced editors and proofreaders who want to invest in longevity. The focus here is on strategy and business evolution.
  • Editorial Legacy – focuses on how we as editors can make quiet contributions that shape and support the editorial profession.
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  • Editorial Marketing – speaks to every editorial freelancer who’s ever felt nervous about business promotion, and who wants ideas about how to go about being globally visible.

Is the content identical to The Editing Podcast?

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The content in the podcast is scripted with the spoken word in mind. Publishing those conversations verbatim would not have made for engaging books.

What we’ve done instead is extracted that content and presented it so that the written word takes centre stage.
So, yes, it’s still our podcast content, but it’s been repurposed and reworked so that it’s book-fit.

How long did it take to create the books?

The answer to how long it took depends on your starting point.

We didn’t write the books from scratch – creating them required having the podcast scripts in the first place. And since we broadcast our first episode in 2019, so you could say the journey started then.
However, it was 2022 when Denise and I got together for a strategic-planning weekend in Tynemouth so we could review where we were with The Editing Podcast and discuss our longer-term goals.

​​During the discussion – with breaks for fish and chips, and ice cream … not always in that order – the idea for a book series was born.
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We’ve spent the past three years doing the following to bring these books to life:
​
  • scoping the themes of the series
  • exploring different series names
  • developing the cover designs to reflect the podcast branding
  • organizing, revising and checking the content
  • discovering what we need to do, and what we need help with
  • preparing the books for print-on-demand publication.

Did you use AI?

The biggest challenge we faced in making this project viable was untangling well over 100,000 scripted words spread across 145 separate episodes broadcast in no particular order.

Some of that scripted content was irrelevant because it:
  • took the form of speaker-identification tags
  • included jokes or anecdotes that went off at a tangent
  • focused on issues that weren’t relevant to the five core book themes
  • included information about how to subscribe to the podcast.

Even the content that was relevant wasn’t located only in episodes whose titles made it obvious. It was all over the place! Plus, it was scripted in a way that suited voices rather than books.
Initially we embarked on doing that untangling work ourselves. However, it was backbreaking – eye-wateringly inefficient, not to mention mundane.

​We realized it would take us years, not months, and the project looked like it might have to be shelved …
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Unless we got help.

We talked over the options and wondered if AI might come to the rescue. We decided to give it the task of:
  • hunting down where the theme-relevant content was located within all 145 episodes
  • extracting the relevant snippets
  • and then returning them to us.

That was a learning curve because it took a while to work out how give it the right prompts to ensure it gave us exactly what we wanted. However, it was time well spent because we got there in the end! 
​
So, yes, we did use AI – to analyse our own content and extract the chunks of it that we wanted. From then on, it was up to us to do what we do best …

What Louise and Denise did

Once the AI had delivered our booty, we spent several months doing the following:
  • organizing the content logically within each of the volumes
  • stylistically line editing each book to make it book-fit rather than spoken-fit
  • writing new information to provide clarity
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With that done, we turned to:
  • creating the prelims, introductions and conclusions
  • designing the covers and promotional images
  • formatting the interiors so they’re KDP-ready
  • copyediting the five manuscripts
  • proofreading the page proofs
  • sending advance PDF copies to multiple reviewers who generously agreed to cast their eye over the series and provide testimonials (thank you, each and every one of you!)  
  • preparing our marketing plan.
 
And finally, we published!

Why bother publishing when people can listen?

Denise and I have always been massive advocates for repurposing valuable content because it respects the fact that people like to get their information in different ways.

​Some like to listen. Some like to watch. And some like to read.
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Plus, some of our listeners have specifically asked for books, saying that they love listening to The Editing Podcast, but sometimes they want to revisit a particular nugget but can’t remember which episode it was in.

​By reorganizing our conversations into themed narratives, we’ve given people choice.

​How to buy the books

​All five books are available through Amazon.
ORDER YOUR BOOKS NOW
Still want to listen? Head over to The Editing Podcast!
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

About Louise

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Why ‘good’ versus ‘bad’ binaries can harm crime fiction]]>Tue, 01 Jul 2025 23:30:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/why-good-versus-bad-binaries-can-harm-crime-fictionThis post explores how oversimplifications of human motivation as  ‘good’ versus ‘evil’ can damage crime fiction, mysteries and thrillers.
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In this post

Read on to find out more about:
  • the trouble with clear-cut morality
  • turning flat caricatures into relatable characters
  • exploring justice that reflects reality
  • building tension through real-world themes.

The trouble with clear-cut morality

In real life, morality is murky. Few people do harm ‘just because’. People do bad things for complex reasons, and those in investigative roles – and apparently on the side of justice – don’t always behave impeccably.

Compelling contemporary crime fiction tends to avoid rigid binaries that present ‘good’ and ‘bad’ characters, where the villain is evil because they commit a crime, and the sleuth is good because they solve it.
​
Going down that route can weaken character development, limit emotional relatability and misrepresent how justice manifests in a way that’s plausible. 

​How to turn flat caricatures into relatable characters

In a binary model, the villain is ‘monsterized’ as inherently bad – the evil psychopath or lowlife. The focus is more on the nastiness they’ve done.

Meanwhile, the investigator is ‘heroized’ as inherently good – the wonderful restorer of order. The focus is on how they’ve saved the day.

However, when you provide a deeper understanding of the reasons why a criminal acted as they did, and when you make space for a sleuth’s flaws, doubts and moral ambiguity, readers are able to access more plausible and fully rounded characters with human backstories and worldviews, however flawed.

An example from the bookshelf
​One of my favourite examples of a flawed law-enforcement officer is Mick Herron’s Jackson Lamb, the unkempt, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed and flatulent head of Slough House, home to MI5 agents who’ve made career-ending mistakes.

​He’s vicious but protective, revolting but brilliant, both burned out and razor-sharp, more anti-hero than saviour. It’s Lamb’s complexity that keeps readers turning the page.
Prompt for writers and editors
Check your villain and sleuth. Where are the cracks that could move them away from binary stereotypes and towards human beings that your readers feel compelled to get under the skin of?

Does the sleuth wonder if they're doing the right thing? Does the criminal regret, justify or second-guess themself? Making space for this adds tension.

Exploring justice that reflects reality

Ditching binary models of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ allows you to explore crime and justice in a way that engages readers who’ve experienced systemic injustice in real life, as well as those whose privilege means they haven’t. 

For example, a criminal’s actions might stem from something far more alarming than pure greed. It could be grounded in, or driven by, their experience of poverty, fear, abuse, racial- or class-based oppression.
​
Taking this approach asks readers to consider where biases in the system are, who the establishment serves, and whether equal opportunity really stands up under the microscope.

​Examples from the bookshelf
​When I first read The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood over thirty years ago, Aunt Lydia, one of Gilead’s enforcers, didn’t get a voice, so I had no access to her motivations as a perpetrator. In The Testaments, she finally gets to narrate. It’s a glorious study of how abuse, fear and oppression can drive the most appalling behaviours, and what deeper motivation might lie beyond.

On the surface, SA Cosby’s Razorblade Tears is a revenge thriller focusing on two former conmen – one Black, one white – bent on dishing out justice after their sons are murdered. But embedded within the criminality is a powerful story about grief and the prejudice each man must confront within himself. 

Prompt for writers and editors
Check your assumptions. What lived experiences do your villain and sleuth bring to the table, and how do those affect their perception of the crime, evading detection and the approach to the investigation?
​
Avoid telling readers who’s ‘right’ and who’s ‘wrong'. Instead, show them conflicting perspectives and allow them to decide for themselves.

Ask questions about your perpetrators and your investigators: What does this person want and fear? What trauma or injustice shaped their choices? Who might see them as a hero, and who might see them as a villain?

Building tension through real-world themes

Avoiding traditional ‘good’ and ‘bad’ binaries encourages space for exploring themes that cement tension throughout the novel, and speak to readers living in the world as it is now … or the one it might be in the not-too-distant future.

Through those themes, you might explore societies’ values, and what constitutes criminal behaviour in terms of your own and your readers’ values. Are there are circumstances where bad deeds might be justified for the greater good?

For example, could the perpetrator and the investigator both be grappling with thorny concepts that make who’s ‘right’ and who’s ‘wrong’ ambiguous?
​
  • Human comfort versus environmental sustainability: A resistance movement rises against a draconian regime that’s dismantled modern technology to prevent ecological collapse. Is this a fight for freedom or the beginning of a new disaster?
  • The right to knowledge versus the threat of chaos: A journalist uncovers the existence of a human-made virus so dangerous that its mere exposure could trigger global panic. Do they reveal the truth or bury it for the greater good?
  • Loyalty to the vulnerable versus telling the truth: A detective learns that their spouse has hidden evidence to protect their autistic child from prosecution. Do they uphold the law or shield their family?
  • Security versus privacy: A whistleblower leaks details of an AI system that secretly monitors millions. Is it an act of justice, betrayal or both?

​An example from the bookshelf
​​Tom R Weaver’s debut thriller Artificial Wisdom mixes cli-fi, techno-political intrigue and ethical tension.

​It asks readers to consider whether truth matters more than survival, and whether we should trust our fate to humanity alone or something beyond it.

Prompt for writers and editors
Check your underlying themes. Which big-picture questions might you draw the reader's attention to and that don’t have clearcut answers? What happens when the system itself is unjust? What if both the criminal and sleuth are victims of the same failing structure?

Summing up

Crime fiction and thrillers can reveal uncomfortable truths about people and systems. By embracing ambiguity, you can craft more emotionally resonant and morally engaging stories.

To keep your characters interesting and out of binary waters, ask yourself whether the most compelling villain might be one who almost persuades us, and whether the most unforgettable hero might be one who almost breaks our trust.

Other resources you might like

About Louise

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[5 tips on how to introduce backstory to crime fiction]]>Mon, 16 Jun 2025 16:00:01 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/5-tips-on-how-to-introduce-backstory-to-crime-fictionBackstory helps readers understand why characters act the way they do and what their motivations are. This post offers five tips on how to introduce it so that it enriches, rather than distracts from, the main story.
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In this post ...

Read on to find out more about:
  • what character backstory is
  • drip feeding the information
  • using natural dialogue
  • interjecting with narrative reflection
  • using other characters to reveal backstory
  • using sounds, objects or settings as triggers

What is character backstory?

Backstory is the fictional history of a character before the main plot begins. It could include past events, relationships, traumas or achievements that shape their present behaviour and decisions. Backstory should be:

  • Interesting to the reader: It should engage us. Dull or generic backstory risks slowing the pace of the story without adding anything memorable.
  • Relevant to the scene: It should be introduced at points where it helps readers make sense of what’s happening in a particular scene, otherwise it will feel like dislocated filler.
  • Purposeful to the story: It should serve the story and help readers make sense of a character’s actions and choices.
  • Tightly conveyed: It should provide just enough information to enhance the story. Too much backstory could turn into an information dump that encourages readers to scan over it.

To ensure you hit the mark, think about which of the following mechanisms might work best for your novel.

1. Drip feed the information

Think of backstory as the seasoning rather than the main dish. It can be tempting to give readers everything you want them to know about the past in a dedicated and detailed chapter. However, this comes with risk. Your reader, who’s itching to move forward and find out what’s going to happen next, is forced backwards.

The focus is no longer on the now of the novel, but on a different time and space. That in itself can be distracting.

Plus, by giving readers all this backstory in one fell swoop, you could lose the opportunity to introduce suspense, mystery or intrigue.

Instead of an information dump, try instead a brief but telling reference that’s related to the current action.
​
For example, if your character’s past involves an event that’s made them mistrustful of small spaces, you could hint at this in the narrative, but explain it more fully in a piece of dialogue later on. Here’s how that might look at first mention. The backstory nudge is in bold.
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​Baz legged it towards the market square but took the long way, avoiding the alley. Too dark. Too small. He’d never make that mistake again, not after last time.
     Ten minutes later he was by the fountain, its mist on his face, the warm glow of festoon lights overhead. He ditched his cap, shook off his jacket and turned it inside out, then melted into the crowd. Just another tourist.
​This way, you’re revealing backstory in smaller chunks – ones that invite the reader to think: What happened last time he went into a dark alley?

​This builds suspense and leaves readers with questions that you can answer later. And for now, the reader stays in the moment with Baz, running towards the square and finding safety in the crowd.

​2. Use natural dialogue

Dialogue can be a superb way of unveiling backstory. Depending on when it comes up, you can drip feed or go into more detail.
​
The key is to ensure that it sounds natural rather than being a convenient tool. For example, if Marcus already knows about Baz’s fears, the following will feel overworked. The dialogue is for the reader’s benefit only, not what these two people might actually say to each other.

What to avoid
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‘You’re late,’ Marcus said, tapping his watch. ‘I was expecting you five minutes ago.’
     ‘I came the long way,’ Baz said. ‘After that incident in November 2024 where I was left for dead in a dark alleyway, I’ve not felt able to take the risk.’
     Marcus nodded. ‘Yes, I remember the doctor saying you might not make it, that the seventy-three stiches in your head were only a surface indication of the trauma beneath. And your recovery took ... remind me how long it was.’
     ‘Seven months,’ Baz said.
This kind of dialogue-for-convenience is sometimes referred to as maid-and-butler dialogue. To avoid it, try something like the following instead.

What to do instead
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‘You’re late,’ Marcus said, tapping his watch. ‘I was expecting you five minutes ago.’
     ‘I came the long way,’ Baz said. ‘Avoided the alley. After, you know, last time, I couldn’t bear—’
     ‘You need to find a way past that, mate. Let bygones be bygones. I get it, but all you’re doing is turning one risk into another.’
​Again, this version hints at a traumatic event in the past, but leaves an intriguing space for more to be revealed later.

3. Interject with narrative reflection

If the time has come to reveal more, you could use the space between the dialogue to offer a little more insight.

​Take care to restrain it. Give the reader just enough, then pull them back to the present action. Here’s how that might look.
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‘You’re late,’ Marcus said, tapping his watch. ‘I was expecting you five minutes ago.’
     ‘I came the long way,’ Baz said. ‘Avoided the alley. After, you know, last time, I couldn’t bear—’
     ‘Yeah yeah. Look, you need to find a way past that, mate. I get it, but all that’s doing is turning one risk into another.’
     Easy for Marcus to say. He hadn’t been left for dead, beaten to a pulp, the seventy-three stiches transforming his scalp into something Picasso would have been proud of. Seven months he’d been laid up for. Seven—  
    ‘Hey, earth to Bazza. C’mon. Let’s get a pint. I’ve got a plan.’
    Marcus took him by the elbow and steered him through the crowd. It began to rain. An umbrella snapped open above his head.

​4. Use other characters to reveal backstory

You could decide to hint at a character’s backstory through how others see them. Again, readers should be given only what they need to know, and the reveal should be relevant to the scene.
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Fi touched the screen. ‘So this is our route out. I don’t like it. See here? This alley is tight. No lights. Baz might be on his own, and we both know Baz doesn’t do confined spaces … at least he hasn’t done for the past eighteen months.’
     ‘That’s our route out,’ Marcus said. ‘You and me. Baz is leaving through the front door, in plain sight. I’ve got it all worked out.’ ​
Notice how we’re given a nudge about something in Baz’s past that means alternative arrangements have to be made. These add a little complexity to the plan Fi and Marcus are working on, but there’s space to explore in more detail at a later point.

​If it’s time to introduce that extra detail, an alternative could see Marcus reflecting internally on a plan he’s put together. Here, the backstory is more detailed but it’s still relevant to the present issue that he’s focusing on – planning an escape.
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The obvious route out was the alley. Through the kitchen, into the yard, over the wall, and they’d be gone. Two minutes tops. In theory it was good. In practice it was risky. Not for him and Fi. They were sound. But Baz would need to keep his head in the game. And for the past eighteen months, it hadn’t been. His friend had been ambushed, beaten to a pulp, the seventy-three stiches transforming his scalp into something Picasso would have been proud of. Since then, even the suggestion of a tight, unlit space had him going off on one.
     Back to the drawing board. ​

5. Use sounds, objects or settings as triggers

The external environment can be effective tools with which to introduce backstory. Your protagonist might see, hear or touch something that triggers a memory or an emotion.
​
Here are two examples. Once more, they’re mere nudges that make the reader ask questions, rather than lengthy explanations that risk flattening the prose.
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There was a door to his left. Baz opened it. A narrow flight of wooden steps led downwards. He flicked the switch by the latch. A light flashed on, then fizzled and died. He stepped back and shut the door. Shuddered. Too dark, too tight. Not happening.
     Anyway, Marcus was due in ten minutes. He could investigate.
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Fi ran her hand over the cracked porcelain sink. Same kind they’d had in the safehouse in Rotterdam. Good times. Her, Marcus and Baz. All in it together. All of them with their heads in the game. All of them thinking they were invincible.
     ‘Fi, join me.’ It was Marcus, his muffled voice coming from somewhere beneath her.
     ‘He’s down there,’ Baz said, pointing over his shoulder at a roughly hewn slatted door, slightly ajar. ‘Some sort of cellar, I think.’

Summing up

Backstory is as a tool that gives your crime fiction and its characters emotional depth at any point it’s introduced. If it doesn’t affect how the reader engages with the story in the moment, remove it.

Keep it taut so that the reader remains engrossed in the novel’s present – what the characters are doing/feeling now. Nudges and hints at first mention are often far more suspenseful and intriguing.
​
If backstory is dragging on for multiple paragraphs or even chapters – a within-novel biography – rethink its structure and how you might break it up so that you reveal it gradually. 

Other resources you might like

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[How to use an editorial marketing buddy to conquer overwhelm]]>Sat, 28 Sep 2024 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-use-a-marketing-buddy-in-your-editing-business​Discover how to use a marketing buddy to conquer overwhelm and get your editing and proofreading business promotion moving.
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​​Summary of Episode 132

Listen to find out more about:
  • Sharing the problem of marketing inertia
  • Why feeling nervous about marketing with someone else can be empowering
  • Finding a marketing buddy: Forums, groups and professional development events
  • Making space for marketing anxiety
  • Researching your preferred promotion methods
  • Planning business promotion
  • Ideas for you to work on together: Content, events and presentations

Listen to the episode

​Related resources

Support The Editing Podcast

  • Tip your hosts: Support Louise and Denise with a one-off tip of your choosing.
  • Join our Patreon community: Our patrons benefit from access to PDF transcripts for episodes featuring just Louise and Denise, and for some of our guest episodes.

Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
  • Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
  • Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Human vs AI: How editors and proofreaders can remain relevant]]>Wed, 07 Aug 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/human-vs-ai-how-editors-and-proofreaders-can-remain-relevantHow human editors and proofreaders can remain relevant when AI capability is improving exponentially.
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Summary of Episode 131

Listen to find out more about:
  • Emotional intelligence and sensitivity
  • The ability to be subjective
  • Focusing on the writer as well as the writing
  • Service opportunities
  • Being present in person
  • Unique personal and business identities

Listen to the episode

​Related resources

Support The Editing Podcast

  • Tip your hosts: Support Louise and Denise with a one-off tip of your choosing.
  • Join our Patreon community: Our patrons benefit from access to PDF transcripts for episodes featuring just Louise and Denise, and for some of our guest episodes.

Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
  • Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
  • Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
​
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Implied dialogue: 4 reasons to use it in fiction]]>Tue, 15 Aug 2023 15:42:29 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/implied-dialogue-4-reasons-to-use-it-in-fictionDiscover what implied dialogue is and four ways you can use it in your novel, whatever the genre, to enrich your readers’ experience.
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What’s in this post

Find out more about:
  • what implied dialogue is
  • reducing psychic distance to involve the reader
  • summarising information the reader already knows
  • breaking up large chunks of dialogue
  • making direct speech more impactful

What is implied dialogue?

​Implied dialogue is information that could be included naturally in a character’s speech but is instead offered in a narrative form that implies that direct speech has taken place.

​Here’s a comparative example:
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Version 1: Direct speech
‘Take a seat,’ Ava said. ‘And brace yourself. I’m having second thoughts about Steve and Akeno. Yes, I know I originally ruled them out because of all the witnesses who vouched for them. But there’s a gap. I double checked the times and no one saw them between 8.45 and 9.30. That’s forty-five minutes – easily enough time to sneak out of the club, hike up the trail with the equipment and plant it near the glade. I hate to say it, but they could be our thieves.’
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Version 2: Combination of direct speech and implied dialogue
‘Take a seat,’ Ava said. ‘And brace yourself. I’m having second thoughts about Steve and Akeno.’
     Yes, she’d originally ruled them out because of all the witnesses who’d vouched for them, but there was a gap. She’d double checked the times and no one had seen them between 8.45 and 9.30. Forty-five minutes – easily enough time to sneak out of the club, hike up the trail with the equipment and plant it near the glade.
     ‘I hate to say it’ – she grimaced – ‘but they could be our thieves.’
In the first version, aside from the speech tag (Ava said), the information is conveyed as present-tense direct speech. I’ve used single quotation marks, but doubles would have been fine too if I’d been writing in a different style.

In the second version, some of that direct speech has been rendered as third-person past-tense narrative instead. It still has the feel of Ava’s speech because the narrative follows on coherently from her introductory statement about having second thoughts. That she actually spoke these words to the listener is therefore implied.

4 reasons to experiment with implied dialogue

Whether you use implied dialogue, and how often, is a stylistic choice. There are certainly no rules. However, it’s worth considering the impact it can have on your writing and the way your reader engages with your prose.
​
Here are four reasons why I think you should experiment with it.

​1. Reducing psychic distance to involve the reader

When two or more characters are talking to each other through direct speech, the reader is relegated to the role of invisible listener.

With implied dialogue, the narrator shifts their gaze towards the reader and invites them to participate by being an active listener.

That reduces the psychic (or narrative) distance between the narrator and reader so that our experience of the novel is more intimate.

EXAMPLE 1
Below is an example from p. 290 of False Value by Ben Aaronovitch. Our protagonist Peter Grant narrates in the first person, which means that the psychic distance between him and the reader is usually fairly intimate – he’s always telling us, the readers, what’s happened.

In this example, he’s on a Skype call with an FBI agent called Reynolds who’s updating him on what she’s discovered about a case.

By rendering some of Reynolds’s speech as implied rather than direct, Aaronovitch subtly ensures that the reader’s still invited to the party. It’s as if Grant has looked away from Reynolds on the screen for just a moment, and towards us.
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‘Spoiler,’ said Reynolds. ‘I re-interviewed the surviving witnesses and they agreed that Anthony Lane opened fire at the Mary Engine and the jars on the rack. Before you ask, they were both interns and didn’t know where the items had come from.’ [Direct speech. Wider psychic distance between narrator and reader]
​     ​The dead guy, a certain Branwell Petersen, MIT graduate and former Microsoft employee, had died, the witnesses thought, because he stepped between the shooter and the Rose Jars. [Implied dialogue. Closer psychic distance between narrator and reader]
​     ‘The interns said he threw himself into the line of fire,’ said Reynolds. ‘As if his life was less important.’ ​[Direct speech. Wider psychic distance between narrator and reader]

2. Summarising to avoid repetition

Sometimes the reader has already accessed information via a viewpoint character. If that character then shares the detail with another via direct speech, the reader will be subjected to repetition that encourages them to skim.

A narrative summary enables authors to imply the spoken sharing of information without actually putting the whole conversation down on paper twice.

EXAMPLE 2
In the excerpt below, the protagonist – with the help of a companion – has escaped from an unknown location after being kidnapped. 
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I stopped to orientate myself and spotted a street sign – Coldharbour Lane. I’d been in bloody Brixton the whole time. […] I wanted off the street, but didn’t want to put a random homeowner in danger. Instead we ran left towards the train station. [Narrative: Location of lair]
     […] After less than a hundred metres, Foxglove was showing signs of serious distress and I felt her stumble a couple of times, but we’d reached the shopping parade by then and fortunately the Nisa Local was still open. A nervous black girl of about fifteen who was manning the tills gave us a weary look of disgust as we rushed in. Then got all confused when I told her I was a police office and that I needed to use a phone. ​​I retreated with Foxglove into the corner where we’d be hidden by the shelves and called Guleed. ​​[Narrative: Location of store]
     […] Guleed picked up, and I said, ‘We’re in the Nisa Local near Brixton Station and Chorley’s lair is on Coldharbour Lane.’ [Direct speech: Repetition of narrative x2]
Notice how the dialogue at the end of the excerpt repeats information we already know because Grant has narrated the journey of discovery and the direction he takes in the previous paragraphs. It’s repetitive and dull.

But actually, I’ve butchered it. The real excerpt from pp. 329–30 of Lies Sleeping, also by Ben Aaronovitch, looks like this:
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I stopped to orientate myself and spotted a street sign – Coldharbour Lane. I’d been in bloody Brixton the whole time. […] I wanted off the street, but didn’t want to put a random homeowner in danger. Instead we ran left towards the train station.
​​[Narrative: Location of lair]
     […] After less than a hundred metres, Foxglove was showing signs of serious distress and I felt her stumble a couple of times, but we’d reached the shopping parade by then and fortunately the Nisa Local was still open. A nervous black girl of about fifteen who was manning the tills gave us a weary look of disgust as we rushed in. Then got all confused when I told her I was a police office and that I needed to use a phone. […] I retreated with Foxglove into the corner where we’d be hidden by the shelves and called Guleed. [Narrative: Location of store]
    Guleed picked up, and I told her where I was, and where Chorley’s lair was, and let her get on with it. [Implied dialogue]
Take a look at the final line. Aaronovitch uses narrative, rather than direct speech, to imply what Grant has actually said to Guleed.

The repetition is gone. Instead, of laboured direct speech that tells readers what they already know, the implied dialogue is taut and pacy, and lets us move on to the next part of the scene.

Summarising information via implied dialogue doesn’t necessarily reduce the word count, but that’s fine. The goal is not to necessarily to reduce the number of words (though that may be the result) but to keep the reader interested and drive the story forward. 

3. Breaking up would-be monologues

When non-viewpoint characters have information to share, direct speech is the perfect vehicle because we can learn about their experiences even though we haven’t been party to them.

However, when there’s a lot of detail, that information can turn into what feels like a monologue. The reader can end up dislocated from the environment, as if the speaker is talking in a vacuum or floating in white space. You might see this referred to as ‘talking heads syndrome’.

Implied dialogue is the antidote. It breaks up the dialogue so that while some of what was said is rendered in direct speech, chunks of it are voiced by the narrator. That is, what was actually spoken by the non-viewpoint character is implied.

EXAMPLE 3
Below is a fine example from False Value again, this time on p. 287. Consider how long Reynolds’s spiel would have been if Aaronovitch hadn’t broken it up by allowing the protagonist and first-person narrator, Peter Grant, to bear some of the burden.
​
It’s implied that the 113 words about what happened on August 2015 were spoken by Reynolds, but it’s Grant who delivers the information to the reader on her behalf. The monologue has been avoided but we know exactly how that conversation went.
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I flipped the master power switch as soon as I was inside and pulled a Coke out of the fridge to serve as a coffee substitute while I waited for my PC to boot up. As soon as Skype was running, Reynolds’s call flashed up. [Narrative. Closer psychic distance between narrator and reader]
     ‘What was all that about?’ I asked when I saw her face. [Direct speech. Wider psychic distance between narrator and reader]
      ‘Skinner’s been connected to another case,’ she said. [Direct speech. Wider psychic distance between narrator and reader]
     At  10.15 on a Monday morning in August 2015, one Anthony Lane walked into the offices of an obscure tech start-up in San Jose carrying a concealed handgun. He talked his way past the receptionist before using the threat of force to gain access to the secure area at the rear and then, once he was in, opened fire. One person was killed instantly, two others were wounded and Lane himself was shot eight times in the back by a responding police officer. The attack barely made the news, being just one of several hundred to several thousand – depending on where you set the parameters – of active shooter incidents so far that year.
​​​[Implied dialogue. Closer psychic distance between narrator and reader]
     ​‘It wasn’t on my list,’ said Reynolds, ‘because the perp was dead.’
​​​[Direct speech. Wider psychic distance between narrator and reader]
And don’t forget the impact on reader inclusion discussed earlier. This monologue-breaker has also served to turn Grant’s narrative gaze towards us – the readers – rather than focusing solely on the person who’s talking to him via Skype.

4. Making direct speech more impactful

Using implied dialogue can also enable direct speech to shine a little more brightly, especially when there’s a punchy spoken one-liner that deserves to stand out on the page.

EXAMPLE 4
The excerpt below is from p. 369 of Lies Sleeping. The author uses a combination of direct speech, implied dialogue and narrative to present a coherent telling of the what the characters are saying and doing.

In this case, the implied dialogue is how readers know about the relatively mundane conversations that have taken place between the characters, but note in particular the penultimate line in which we learn that Guleed said she’d been about to phone.

​What that does is put her closing direct speech centre stage. And that’s right and proper because it’s anything but mundane. It’s a section-closer that drips with suspense and tension – compelling the reader to turn the page so they can find out more about the problem Guleed’s identified, what the implications are and how the team are going to fix it.
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‘I’ve checked for booby traps and handed it over to the local boys. Alexander is sending a search party tomorrow.’ [Direct speech]
     ​He asked after Stephanopoulos and I passed on the assurances that Dr Walid had given me. I asked if he was heading back tonight and he said he was. [Implied dialogue]
     ​‘Anything else to report?’ he asked. [Direct speech]
     ​‘A creeping sense of existential dread,’ I said. ‘Apart from that I’m good.’ [Direct speech]
     ‘Chin up, Peter. He’s on his last legs – I can feel it.’ [Direct speech]
     ​Once Nightingale had rung off I called Guleed, who’d been arriving as a nasty surprise to bell foundries and metal casting companies from Dudley to Wolverhampton all day. [Narrative]
     ​She said she’d been just about to phone. [Implied dialogue]
     ​‘I was right,’ she said. ‘There’s another bell.’ [Direct speech: Standout one-liner]
[SECTION BREAK]

Summing up

Implied dialogue does what it says on the tin. It is narrative that implies what characters said to each other, even though it’s not presented in the present tense and (often) with quotation/speech marks surrounding it.

And while direct speech that’s rich in voice, conveys mood, and shows intent is knockout, it may be that you’re concerned about excluding your readers – or, worse, boring them. If that's the case, experiment with this tool and see what effect it has on your prose when you mix things up a little.

Related resources and cited texts

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[5 ways editors can use text generative AI as a business tool]]>Thu, 08 Jun 2023 00:18:18 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/5-ways-editors-can-use-text-generative-ai-as-a-business-toolDiscover how editors and proofreaders can use text generative AI as a business tool that enhances marketing, increases productivity and reduces stress.
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Listen to Episode 114

​Summary of Episode 114

  • Simplifying complex information
  • Creating content ideas for business marketing
  • Generating outlines for editorial marketers who lack writing confidence
  • Keyword and keyphrase research
  • Suggesting compelling calls to action for a website

​Related resources

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Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
  • Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
  • Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
​
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[How to use dialogue snippets as a narrative tool]]>Mon, 08 May 2023 15:33:07 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-use-dialogue-snippets-as-a-narrative-toolDoes your novel’s narrative have several consecutive snippets of dialogue that reflect a non-viewpoint character’s state of mind? If so, how do you punctuate them? And is there an alternative to using speech marks?
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What’s in this post?

  • The difference between dialogue and narrative
  • Using speech snippets as a narrative device
  • Different styles of punctuation
  • Using free indirect speech as an alternative
  • Should the snippets be capitalized?
  • Keeping the text lean and engaging

The difference between dialogue and narrative

Dialogue is the conversation between two or more characters. It’s what people say out loud and is often indicated by opening and closing quotation marks (or speech marks). Depending on your style of choice, these marks can be either singles ‘blah blah’ or doubles “blah blah”. 

Narrative is the telling of the story – how an external narrator or viewpoint character reports on the events taking place in the novel.

In the example below, the dialogue between the characters is in quotation marks. The surrounding text is narrative, and through it we learn what the viewpoint character – Milo – is thinking and what he can see and hear as the journey progresses. 
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. The country was going to hell in a handcart and they had the audacity to talk about ‘defence of the realm’. Jesus.
     ​The driver turned right at the junction, taking them over the bridge and south of the river.
     Milo banged on the glass partition and shouted, ‘Hey, you’ve gone the wrong way, mate. We need to go north.’
     ‘Don’t worry yourself, sir,’ the driver said, his voice tinny through the intercom. ‘I’ve been told exactly where to take you.’
Note the following:
  • I’ve used single quotation marks in line with British English-style convention.
  • Each new speaker’s dialogue starts on a new line.
  • The full stop after realm sits outside the closing quotation mark because this isn’t direct speech.

​Here’s how it might look using US English style:
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. The country was going to hell in a handcart and they had the audacity to talk about “defence of the realm.” Jesus.
     The driver turned right at the junction, taking them over the bridge and south of the river.
     Milo banged on the glass partition and shouted, “Hey, you’ve gone the wrong way, mate. We need to go north.”
     ​“Don’t worry yourself, sir,” the driver said, his voice tinny through the intercom. “I’ve been told exactly where to take you.”
Note the following:
  • I’ve used double quotation marks.
  • Each new speaker’s dialogue starts on a new line.
  • The full stop after realm sits inside the closing quotation mark.

Using speech snippets as a narrative device

Sometimes the narrative can include snippets of speech to inform readers about a character’s state of mind or a types of behaviours.

Although full sentences are used in the speech snippets, it’s not conventional dialogue. Rather, it’s narrating character’s recollection of utterances that give the reader a flavour of another character’s perspective.
​
Here’s an example punctuated using British English style. Note the following:
  • I’ve used single quotation marks in line with British English-style conventions.
  • Adamson’s speech snippets are not given a new line but incorporated into the narrative.
  • Commas and a conjunction separate the speech snippets. 
  • Commas and a conjunction separate the speech snippets. These replace any full points that would have appeared if the actual conversation had been reported and rendered as dialogue.
  • The commas sit outside the speech marks to indicate that this is Milo’s narrative rather than conventional dialogue.
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. Like that jerk Adamson barking on about his so-called obligations. During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that ‘It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap’, ‘Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?’, ‘Got to look after our own, you know’ and ‘Government’s best done by our lot, not civilians’.
And here’s an example punctuated using US English style, which some people might find a little trickier because of the question mark and the punctuation convention. In the three examples below:
  • I’ve used double quotation marks in line with US English-style conventions.
  • Adamson’s speech snippets are not given a new line but incorporated into the narrative.
  • Commas and a conjunction separate the speech snippets. These replace any full points that would have appeared if the actual conversation had been reported and rendered as dialogue.
  • Most of the commas still sit inside the speech marks as per US English style. The tricky bit is deciding what to do with the snippet containing a question mark.

Option 1: Allow the question mark to do the separating
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. Like that jerk Adamson barking on about his so-called obligations. During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that “It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap,” “Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?” “Got to look after our own, you know,” and “Government’s best done by our lot, not civilians.”

​Option 2: Recast so that the snippet with a question mark is at the end of the sentence
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. Like that jerk Adamson barking on about his so-called obligations. During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that “It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap,” “Got to look after our own, you know,” “Government’s best done by our lot, not civilians,” and “Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?”

Option 3: Add a separating comma after the closing quotation mark to emphasize the separation
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     ​Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. Like that jerk Adamson barking on about his so-called obligations. During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that “It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap,” “Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?”, “Got to look after our own, you know,” and “Government’s best done by our lot, not civilians.”
If you’re an editor who doesn’t have the scope to suggest a recast, I think Option 1 is fine. The question mark acts in place of a separating comma and avoids cluttering punctuation.

Option 3 indicates a clear separation but it’s a break from US-English style and clutters the paragraph with a comma that isn’t strictly needed.

Using free indirect speech as an alternative

Free indirect speech (also called free indirect discourse) is an alternative that could work for writers worried about getting tangled up in how to punctuate snippets of direct speech in narrative.
​
Free indirect speech reads like direct first person dialogue but retains a third-person viewpoint. Here’s how it might work in our example.
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. Like that jerk Adamson barking on about his so-called obligations. During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that it was all about the defence of the realm, old chap, democracy had lost its way, we had to look after our own, and government was best done by our lot, not civilians.
Note how I’ve experimented with just a little italic for emphasis – old chap and our lot. 

​That’s so that although Milo is reporting the kinds of things he heard his boss say, the reader pays attention to the some of the tone of his boss’s voice and some of the language that Milo finds particularly grating.

Keeping the text lean and engaging

It’s worth paying attention to how many dialogue snippets you’re using. If they’re in a single sentence of the narrative, there’s a risk the prose won’t flow well and the reader will get lost.  In the example I provided above, there were four, and that’s probably about the limit.
​
So what should you do if you’re passing an editorial eye over a sentence with lots of snippets?

Option 1: Can you create the same impact with fewer snippets?
Check whether all those snippets need to be there. Are some of them conveying similar information? If that’s the case, could you retain only those necessary to convey the essence of the character’s thought processes to the reader?

The example below has eight snippets.
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​​     During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that ‘It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap’, ‘The old-boy network has to be protected’, ‘Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?’, ‘Got to look after our own, you know’, ‘The old ways are the best ways’, ‘We know who our friends are’, ‘A little corruption keeps the wet blankets in check’, and ‘Government’s best done by our lot, not civilians’.
Yes, Adamson might have uttered all of those statements, but capturing the essence of his mindset can be still achieved my omitting at least three of them.

I recommend you pick the utterances that are most powerful. That way, you'll ensure your reader remains engaged.

Option 2: Create two sentences from one
If editing out some dialogue snippets isn’t an option, try breaking the sentence into two.
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​     During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that ‘It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap’, ‘The old-boy network has to be protected’, ‘Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?’, ‘Got to look after our own, you know’, ‘The old ways are the best ways’ … that sort of thing. The bullshit had continued – more of the same on the lines of how ‘We know who our friends are’, ‘A little corruption keeps the wet blankets in check’, and ‘Government’s best done by our lot, not civilians’.

Option 3: Mix up dialogue snippets and free indirect speech
Another option is to combine two different literary tools – direct speech snippets and free indirect speech. Here’s how it might work.
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​     During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that ‘It’s all about the defence of the realm, old chap’, ‘The old-boy network has to be protected’, ‘Democracy’s lost its way, don’t you think?’, ‘Got to look after our own, you know’, ‘The old ways are the best ways’ … that sort of thing. The bullshit had continued – more of the same about how they knew who their friends were, how a little corruption kept the wet blankets in check (Adamson had winked at that one), and how government was best done by our lot, not civilians.
Again, I experimented with just a little italic to draw attention to Adamson's tone and its grating effect on Milo, and added an action beat in parentheses to highlight Adamson's readiness to break the law.

This option ensures the use of direct speech isn’t overworked, and instead gives the reader a different way to access the information in the narrative about how Adamson’s mind works.

Should the snippets be capitalized?

Whether or not you should capitalize the snippets is a style choice. I've chosen to capitalize them in the examples I provided because I wanted to indicate that this is how these full sentences would have been rendered if we'd been shown the actual conversation as it happened.

If I was dealing with partial dialogue, I'd approach the text as in the next example.
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     Milo fumed. Stuck-up establishment idiots. They didn’t have a clue. Like that jerk Adamson barking on about his so-called obligations. During their previous meeting, Milo had nodded and smiled in all the right places while his boss informed him that it was ‘all about the defence of the realm, old chap’, how democracy had ‘lost its way, don’t you think?’, that they had to ‘look after our own, you know’ and government was best done by 'our lot, not civilians’.​

Summing up

Using snippets of direct dialogue as a narrative tool can be a superb way of conveying a non-viewpoint character’s mindset and behaviour.

However, writers and their editors need to ensure that readers won’t be tempted to skim. For that reason, pay attention to:
  • consistent punctuation that supports readability, clarity and style
  • brevity that captures the essence of the character’s perspective
  • whether different tools could be combined to make the prose more interesting.

Related resources

​About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[How to punctuate dialogue broken midstream by an action beat]]>Sat, 22 Apr 2023 23:37:03 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-punctuate-dialogue-broken-midstream-by-an-action-beatWant to know how to punctuate dialogue that’s interrupted midstream by an action beat? This post shows you one way of handling it in your fiction writing and editing practice. 
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​What’s in this post?

  • What is dialogue?
  • What is an action beat?
  • Midstream dialogue interruptions: Using dashes
  • Which case to use: Upper or lower?
  • How to avoid using three consecutive punctuation marks

What is dialogue?

Dialogue is the part of a novel that conveys character speech. It’s more usually set off by opening and closing quotation marks (or speech marks).

Depending on your style of choice, these marks can be either singles (‘blah blah’) or doubles (“blah blah”).

It’s more common to see double quotation marks used for books written in US-English style, and single marks used for books written in British-English style, but this is a convention rather than a rule. Consistency is what authors and editors aim for, so make your choice and stick with it.  

What is an action beat?

An action beat is a short description that comes before, between or just after dialogue. It assists dialogue by telling readers about how a character interacts with their environment while they’re speaking, and is useful for showing rather than telling readers how a character is feeling. 
​
That’s particularly useful when the narrative style is limited to the perspective of a single viewpoint character, a common and effective style of writing for many commercial fiction authors.

Examples of dialogue with action beats

Below are three examples of character speech. Note how the action beats help ground the character in their environment and help the reader understand how that character is feeling.

In these examples, I’ve placed the action beats in the middle of the dialogue so you can focus on how the various beats I’ve chosen convey different emotions to the reader: frustration in the first, contemplation in the second, and boredom in the third.
  • ‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week?’ Louise rolled her eyes. ‘Okay. Let’s make a backup plan.'
  • ​​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week?’ Louise drummed her fingers on the table. ‘Okay. Let’s make a backup plan.’
  • ​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week?’ Louise glanced at the clock and yawned. ‘Okay. Let’s make a backup plan.’
Note that none of these action beats are interrupting the speaker midstream. When they do, the punctuation can become a little more challenging.

​Midstream dialogue interruptions: Using dashes

When authors want to interrupt the speech midstream with an action beat, a common approach is to punctuate with parenthetical dashes.

  • Spaced en dashes (–) are a popular convention in British-English style.
  • Closed-up em dashes (—) are a popular convention in US-English style.

​This is not the law, not a rule, not the only way or the right way. It’s just the style that many publishers and independent authors choose to follow and that readers are used to seeing. Again, consistency is recommended so that readers aren’t unnecessarily distracted.

Example 1
Here’s an example written in British-English style, using spaced en dashes and single quotation marks.
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     ​‘I’m struggling to understand why you’ – he jabbed his finger right under my nose – ‘thought it was okay to change the name of this operation. You’re not the senior investigating officer.’
And here it is again in US-English style, using closed-up em dashes and double quotation marks.
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     ​“I’m struggling to understand why you”—he jabbed his finger right under my nose—“thought it was okay to change the name of this operation. You’re not the senior investigating officer.”

Example 2
Here’s an example written in British-English style, using spaced en dashes and single quotation marks. This time we’re dealing with an additional punctuation mark: the ellipsis. 
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     ​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by …’ – she scrolled through the messages in her inbox – ‘the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.’
​​Which case to use: Upper or lower?
The action beats contained within the parenthetical dashes don’t start with a capital letter. Instead, the convention asks for lower case because the text is interrupting the dialogue midstream.

​Avoiding three consecutive punctuation marks​

At one point In Example 2 above, there are three punctuation marks in a row: an ellipsis, a quotation mark, and a dash. That’s not something that would bother me because I can see the function each has:
​
  • The ellipsis shows that the speaker takes a pause.
  • The closing quotation marks indicates that the speech has stopped.
  • The dash marks interruptive narrative and tells the reader that the speech will resume after the action beat.

However, some authors feel uncomfortable with multiple punctuation marks. If that’s you, you could try the following:

1. Remove the ellipsis and let the reader insert their own pause
Without the ellipsis, it’s not as clear to the reader if the scrolling is happening at the same time as the character is speaking or if she takes a pause, but does it really matter? In this case, probably not. 
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     ​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by’ – she scrolled through the messages in her inbox – ‘the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.’

2. Tell (rather than show) the pause
If an author feels it’s absolutely necessary for the reader to know about the pause but doesn’t want to show it with an ellipsis, they could tell it (she paused).

​Some might consider this a less elegant solution – a little wordy perhaps – but most readers likely won’t bat an eyelid unless those told pauses and hesitations are littering a text.
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     “So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by”—​she paused and scrolled through the messages in her inbox—​“the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.”

Summing up

​As always, bear in mind that punctuation conventions are useful and helpful ... until they mess with rhythm and mood. The guidance I’m offering is just that – guidance. It’s not a prescriptive set of rules you must follow. 

If you want to interrupt dialogue midstream with action beats, try setting off the beat with dashes.

The choice of whether to use single or double quotation marks and spaced en dashes or closed-up em dashes is the author’s (or the publisher’s). If you’re a freelance fiction editor, check what your client’s style preferences are. 
​
Once the style choice has been made, go for consistency so that readers can concentrate on immersing themselves in the story rather than untangling the punctuation.

Related line-craft resources

About Louise Harnby ​

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[How to manage a hectic editorial business schedule]]>Tue, 18 Apr 2023 23:30:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-manage-a-hectic-editorial-business-scheduleWe talk about tips to manage your editorial business life when the schedule feels just a little bit too hectic!
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Listen to Episode 111

Summary of Episode 111

  • Is the problem short term or long term?
  • Identifying what absolutely must get done
  • Extending a deadline: When to ask, how long to ask for, and what's realistic
  • Seasonal overbusyness and clearing your schedule
  • What does 'fully booked' mean to you?
  • Brainstorming long-term solutions with a friend
  • Introducing efficiencies
  • Outsourcing business tasks
  • Adjusting your schedule
  • Cancelling editing work: A last resort

Related resources

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​​If you'd like to support The Editing Podcast, thank you! That means the world to us.
SUPPORT THE EDITING PODCAST

Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
  • Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
  • Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
]]><![CDATA[How to use beats in crime fiction and thrillers]]>Wed, 16 Nov 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/how-to-use-beats-in-crime-fiction-and-thrillersFind out how to balance the scenes in a crime novel or thriller by using different types of beats that help readers understand the fictional world they’re immersed in. There's a free sample scene analysis too!
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What’s in this post?

  • Emotion beats: for sensibility
  • Action beats: for movement
  • Inaction beats: for breathing space
  • Description beats: for stability
  • Dialogue beats: for expression
  • Why mixing up beats makes scenes more interesting
  • How to analyse a scene for beat balance
  • Download a FREE sample analysis

​5 types of beats in the fiction writer’s and editor’s toolbox

Fiction writers, and the editors who support them, can use different types of beats to make a scene interesting: emotion, action, inaction, description and dialogue beats.

​All have their place. Here’s how each works to create a more fully rounded scene.
I’ve focused on examples from crime fiction and thrillers, but the advice below could equally be applied to other genres.

​Emotion beats

Emotion beats tell readers how the viewpoint character is feeling. They bring sensibility to a scene.

A viewpoint character is the character from whose perspective we experience the story. In first-person-limited and third-person-limited narratives, readers have access to what’s going on inside their heads – for example, their emotions, thoughts and decision-making processes.

Access to this internal space helps us empathize with them and make sense of their motivations. That doesn’t mean we have to like them, but we do understand them. And that brings them to life and makes them more interesting.
Example from published fiction
Adrian McKinty, The Chain, Orion, 2020 (Kindle version, Chapter 1)
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The doors power lock and Kylie curses herself for missing a chance. She could have unclicked the seat belt, opened the door, rolled out. Blind panic is beginning to overwhelm her.

​Action beats

Action beats help readers imagine how a character is physically behaving and can give us insights into the environment and the person’s traits. They bring movement to a scene.
​
Perhaps a viewpoint character stands up because the overly soft chair is making their sciatica play up; maybe an object’s being discussed, and they push it away in disgust; or perhaps they rub their bare feet across the rough pile of a rug in order to soothe themselves in an unformattable situation.
​  
These beats are particularly useful when an author wants to convey emotions being experienced by a non-viewpoint character whose internal head-space isn’t accessible in limited narrative styles. Perhaps wiping sweat off their forehead indicates they’re feeling nervous, or their fidgeting with a beer mat indicates boredom.
Example from published fiction
Harlan Coben, Win, ‎Arrow, 2021 (Kindle edition, Chapter 1)
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"You're a little slow, aren't you, Teddy?" I sigh. "No, I won't excuse you. There is no excuse for you. Are you with me now?"
     The scowl slowly returns to his face. "You got a problem?" ​

​Inaction beats

Inaction beats are pauses, hesitations and moments of silence or stillness. Even when these are short, they help the reader understand pace. They bring breathing space to a scene.
​
They’re powerful because they can show rather than tell more than one character’s contemplation, consideration, indecision, or shock. The prose might state the stillness or silence directly, or it can be nuanced and come in the form of a character’s taking stock of a situation or bracing themselves for a potential upset. 
Example from published fiction
Kate Hamer, The Girl in the Red Coat, ‎Faber & Faber, 2015 (Kindle edition, Chapter 6)
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When I wake up in the morning everything's wonderful. For a moment I can't understand why. Then I remember: Mum's said if the weather's good we can go to the storytelling festival and that's today.

​Description beats

Description beats give readers objective information about the character or environment. They bring stability to a scene.
​
They help readers understand what characters are wearing, what they look like, what’s surrounding them, what they can hear, see, smell, touch or taste. That brings the scene alive.
Example from published fiction
Harlan Coben, Win, ‎Arrow, 2021 (Kindle edition, Chapter 1)
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His name is Teddy Lyons. He is one of the too-many assistant coaches on the South State bench. He is six foot eight and beefy, a big slab of aw-shucks farm boy. Big T—that's what he likes to be called—is thirty-three years old, and this is his fourth college coaching job. From what I understand, he is a decent tactician but excels at recruiting talent. ​

​Dialogue beats

Dialogue beats tell readers what characters are saying and let readers hear those distinct voices in action. Vocal speech can be heard, and so dialogue beats bring expression to a scene.
​
Like action beats, dialogue is an opportunity to bring depth to non-viewpoint characters in limited narrative styles. Their internal opinions and feelings – which we don’t have access to because we’re not in their heads – are revealed to us. 
Example from published fiction
Adrian McKinty, The Chain, Orion, 2020 (Kindle version, Chapter 1)
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“What should I tell her?” the man asks.
     “Don’t tell her anything. Tell her to shut the hell up,” the woman replies.
​     “You need to be quiet, Kylie,” the man says.

​Why mixing up beats makes scenes more interesting

Too much of anything is rarely a good thing, and the same applies to a novel’s beats. When a scene’s constructed primarily around a particular type of beat, there’s a risk the reader will become frustrated and lose interest.

Writers and their publishing teams can use the drafting and editing stages to analyse the prose and evaluate whether there’s sufficient balance. 

​How to analyse a scene for beat balance

Must all 5 beats be introduced? No, certainly not. There’s no formula to writing compelling fiction. Good line craft means making a judgement about what’s missing and what might be added. 

APPROACH 1
One way of approaching this is to think not in terms of the different types of beats but instead in terms of what they contribute, and whether there’s too much or too little. And so writers and their editors can ask: Which of the following should the reader experience in this scene, and are they present? Here’s a summary of those elements:
​
  • Sensibility (via emotion beats)
  • Movement (via action beats)
  • Breathing space (via inaction beats)
  • Stability (via description beats)
  • Expression (via dialogue beats)
​
​Example: Is too much expression dampening the scene?
An over-reliance on dialogue – even if it’s extremely well written – leaves a reader with no nudges about the emotions characters are experiencing or the environment they’re operating in. It’s two or more talking heads on a page.

If there should be expression in the scene, but the characters are chattering too much, think how you might turn the volume down, or at least disrupt it.

Consider introducing a few action, description and emotion beats. Or even turn some of the information contained within the speech into narrative.

​​Example: Is too much stability flattening the scene?
An over-reliance on objective description – even if it gives the reader a rich sense of the environment – leaves readers with no way of accessing mood. It’s a menu of what’s where. 

Description should stabilise the scene, not crush it so that it’s as flat as a pancake.

​Help readers get under the skin of the characters and their environment by adding emotion or dialogue, or a little action that gives the scene some movement.
APPROACH 2
​Another option is to colour-code the text in a scene according to what type of beats are in play.

​This can help authors and editors evaluate whether one type of beat is overbearing, and where they might add in additional types of beat to disrupt that dominance.

It's a powerful way of communicating the problem visually and quickly.

​​Summing up

Using different types of beats in a scene helps readers to understand where the character is, what’s around them, how they feel and what’s important to them. Over-reliance on one type can lead to boredom and frustration; mix things up to keep them interested and turning the page.

Download a free beats booklet

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GET THE FREE BEATS BOOKLET

​​Other resources you might like

​About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Don’t tweet about content you hate]]>Wed, 09 Nov 2022 00:30:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/why-we-dont-tweet-about-content-we-hateLove X (Twitter) for engaging with other editorial and language professionals? We've got one tip for you: Don't engage with content you hate or that makes you unhappy.
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Summary of Episode 103

  • How Google's algorithm works
  • How X/Twitter's algorithm works
  • Why tweeting about content you hate makes it more visible on X (Twitter) and on the web
  • Why tweeting about content you hate means you're assisting the creator with marketing
  • Using X (Twitter) to elevate the content you love and the causes you care about

Listen to the episode

​Related resources

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  • Join our Patreon community: Our patrons benefit from access to PDF transcripts for episodes featuring just Louise and Denise, and for some of our guest episodes. Members of our Second Cup tier get extra free bonus content too!

Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
  • Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4593-vivacity
  • Licence: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Should fiction editors consider conscious language?]]>Wed, 02 Nov 2022 06:30:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/should-fiction-editors-consider-conscious-languageFind out why the concept of conscious language is foundational to professional fiction-editing practice.
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What’s in this post …

  • What is ‘conscious language’?
  • ‘But I’m not part of the “woke” brigade’
  • The foundations of editing
  • Are you part of the professional editing brigade?
  • Why conscious language is also about successful authoring
  • Why conscious language is about consideration rather than prescription
  • A case study
  • Helping our clients
  • Tools that help with conscious language

What is ‘conscious language’?

Karen Yin, founder of Conscious Style Guide, defines conscious language as ‘language rooted in critical thinking and compassion, used skilfully in a specific context'. Using conscious language involves, she says, asking ourselves the following:

  • Who is my audience?
  • What tone and level of formality do I want?
  • What am I trying to achieve?
  • How might history change the impact of my language choices regardless of my intentions?
  • Who’s being excluded?

​‘But I’m not part of the “woke” brigade’

​Conversations about ‘conscious language’ are welcomed by many in the editing community. Now and then, however, these result in references being made to the ‘woke brigade’ from some quarters.
​
Oxford Dictonaries defines ‘woke’ as: ​Alert to injustice and discrimination in society, especially racism.
Merriam-Webster suggests: Aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice).
​Neither mention that the term is sometimes used as a slur against people who are judged to be overly politically correct, over-sensitive, overly concerned with not offending, overly prescriptive.
​
So must editors be ‘woke’?  How we answer that will depend on what we think editors are supposed to do.

The foundations of editing

Editing at its very foundations requires us to actively think about the words on the page and whether they’re doing what the author intends.

Since how we approach language will be influenced by the bubble of our own lived experience, editorial practice requires listening to others who offer alternative insights – ones we were perhaps previously unaware of – into the meaning of words and the consequences of their use.

It means allowing our prior assumptions to be challenged, to consider that what we thought we understood might need revising.

And it means opening our minds to the opportunities that are already alive in the English language – words that explain rather than exclude, and that are rich in both sense and sensibility.

If, like me, you’re not keen on the term ‘woke’ because its negative usage has become a distraction, try an alternative.

​My preference is ‘professional editor’.

Are you part of the professional editing brigade?

Conscious language serves authors – the people who pay editors – and serves readers – the people who pay authors.

The professional editor who isn’t alert to wording that distracts from the message rather than amplifying that message isn’t doing the job that a professional editor is supposed to do: being paid to help the author prepare their book for readers. 

And so regardless of the editor’s personal opinion on this word or that word, regardless of whether the editor uses the term ‘woke’ to describe their mindset or to cast a slur, there’s a business case for conscious language.

The professional editor can’t sidestep that because it’s not about us, and it’s not our book. It’s about the author, and it’s their book.

Why conscious language is also about successful authoring

Readers aren’t homogenous – they don’t all live in the same country, speak the same English, or spell with the same letters. They aren’t wrapped in the same skin, don’t share the same sexual orientation, practise the same faith, have identical anatomies or have one set of homogenous secondary sex characteristics.

Most authors want to sell as many books as they can. That means engaging as many readers as they can. Engaged readers focus their attention on story. Novels containing words and phrases that distract from story, rather amplifying it, don’t serve authors.
​
Deliberately reviewing novels for words and phrases that might disengage a chunk of the potential readership is therefore nothing more than good commercial practice, and it’s the editor’s job to support the author who’s striving to create something that will give them a return on their investment.

Why conscious language is about consideration rather than prescription

When we ask our clients to consider the impact of a particular word, we’re not prescribing ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. We’re helping them make informed decisions predicated on an acknowledgement that not all words in the English language have a single, universally accepted meaning. 

The meaning we attach to some words might differ depending on, for example, where we live, how old we are, and how we’re racialised, sexualized and gendered by others. In other words, what I mean when I use a word might not be what you mean when you use that word.
A case study
My author is a white British man. I know very little else about his identity but I’ve line edited two books for him and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. In the second project, a viewpoint character uses the word ‘thug’ to describe an unpleasant minor character.

In Britain, the word ‘thug’ isn’t racialized (at the time of writing and as far as I’m aware) – meaning the term isn’t typically assigned to a particular racial group. That’s not the case in America, where, I’ve learned, the term is heavily racialized.

My author is British. His characters are British. His book’s setting is Britain. The term ‘thug’ in that context therefore doesn’t jar … as long as we view the project within that bubble of author–character–location. 

However, that’s potentially problematic. There’s something missing from that bubble: the people who’ll determine whether my author’s book is a commercial success – readers.

My author’s keen to sell his books all over the world, including into America, and for that reason I suggested some alternatives to the word ‘thug’, and explained why I think he’d do well to choose one of them. 

The choice was his because it’s his book. And he decided to heed the guidance because both books I’ve worked on have explored the impact of predatory behaviour and abuse.

He writes with compassion and mindfulness, and says he doesn’t want to include a word in his book that might distract one of his American readers unless it’s critical to the character’s arc. And in doing so he's considered:

  • who his audience is
  • what he's trying to achieve
  • how history AND geography affect the impact of his language choices regardless of his intentions
  • those who might be excluded if he weren't to consider other options.​
Helping our clients
A conscious-language approach to editing therefore helps us to help our clients. We can share the knowledge we’ve acquired from our colleagues in the publishing community, knowledge that our authors might not be aware of. 
​
And in doing so, they can publish a book that keeps its audience wanting to turn the pages rather than rip them out. ​

Summing up

If you think conscious language is a load of old ‘woke’ codswallop, consider whether editing is the right job for you. Editors are required at the very core of their practice to consider the purpose and effectiveness of the words in front of them.
 
That doesn’t mean we have to know it all – we can’t, not least because the language landscape is always in flux. It does mean we have to be ready to listen, learn, and advise so that our clients can make informed – conscious – decisions.
​
And we don’t have to do it alone. There’s a large and diverse community of editors and writers who are with us on that journey, and tools to help us improve our practice.

Tools that help with conscious language

Listen to podcast episodes and download a free booklet with links to useful resources created by people in the publishing community who are passionate about language and alert to its power. 
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ACCESS THE RESOURCES

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[Can I place a dialogue tag before the character’s speech?]]>Fri, 21 Oct 2022 22:31:37 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/can-i-place-a-dialogue-tag-before-the-characters-speechWriters can place dialogue tags before, between and after speech – there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Tag-first speech does have a different feel to it though, particularly when the construction is used frequently. This post explores the impact on your novel.
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In this post ...

Read on to find out more about the following:
​
  • What a dialogue tag is
  • Back-loaded tags
  • Mid-loaded tags
  • Front-loaded tags
  • Impact level, psychic distancing and lyricism in front-loaded tags

​What a dialogue tag is

A dialogue tag is the short piece of text that tells a reader that a character is speaking, and which character is speaking. For example:
​
  • Are you enjoying reading that blog post?’ Louise said.
  • ‘Are you enjoying reading that blog post?’ she asked.

In the above examples, the tags are shown in bold and comprise the subject (someone’s name or their pronoun) doing the speaking, and the verb from which the reader can infer that the action of speech is taking place.

Commonly used effective verbs include ‘said’, ‘asked’, ‘replied’, ‘whispered’, ‘muttered’, ‘yelled’, ‘continued’ and ‘added’.
​
Ineffective dialogue tags use verbs that bring to mind action that’s not related precisely to speech but to some other behaviour. Examples include ‘sneered’, ‘grimaced’, ‘laughed’, ‘harrumphed’, ‘huffed’, ‘sighed’, ‘snarled’ and ‘urged’.

​Positioning tags in fiction:
​Back-loading, mid-loading and front-loading

There is no right or wrong position for a dialogue tag. Authors can mix them up as they choose. Tags can even be omitted when it’s clear who’s speaking.
​
So where might they go?

Dialogue tags can be front-loaded, mid-loaded and back-loaded.

Back-loaded dialogue tags
Back-loaded tags come after the speech and are used commonly. Consider using them in the following circumstances:

  • ​Length of dialogue: Your character’s dialogue is a short burst and you want to ensure the reader’s attention is focused on what’s being said straightaway, rather than who’s saying it.
  • Impact level: The dialogue is relevant but low key. There’s no punchline that might be flattened by a tag.

EXAMPLES
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‘I won’t be long,’ Bond said, opening the door.
​(Boyd: Solo)
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​“Me and Jaymie will call it. You want your boy to go too?” he said.
(Crosby: Blacktop Wasteland)

Mid-loaded dialogue tags
Mid-loaded tags come between the speech. They, too, are a popular choice for writers. Consider this option in the following circumstances:
​
  • Length: The dialogue stream is longer and you want to ensure your readers don’t wait too long to discover who’s speaking.
  • Rhythm and context: You want to introduce a natural pause so that the speech doesn’t turn into a monologue. You can also supplement the tag with descriptive action that grounds the dialogue in the environment and helps the reader picture the scene.
  • Impact level: You’ve written a witty, suspenseful or impactful punchline into the dialogue and don’t want it interrupted or flattened by a tag.
  • Interrupted speech: You’ve written speech that’s interrupted abruptly and don’t want the tag interfering with the interrupter’s speech.

EXAMPLE 1
This first example is from David Rosenfeld's Collared.
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“Andy,” Laurie says, draping her arm around me. "We love you deeply. As far as Ricky and I are concerned, the sun rises and sets on you. And it is from that place of love and that place of the rising and setting sun that we say this to you: 'Sign the damn form and send it in.'"
Notice how in the above example of single-character dialogue, which comprises a total of 51 words, the impact point is with the closing sentence: ‘Sign the damn form and send it in’. Because the tag’s located earlier, that dialogue gets to shine.

​Compare the original with this version, which I’ve given a back-loaded tag:
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     “Andy, we love you deeply. As far as Ricky and I are concerned, the sun rises and sets on you. And it is from that place of love and that place of the rising and setting sun that we say this to you: 'Sign the damn form and send it in,'" Laurie says, draping her arm around me.
​Back-loading the tag strips ‘Sign the damn form and send it in’ of its oomph.

EXAMPLE 2
Here’s an example from Linwood Barclay’s Parting Shot that shows how mid-loaded tags can protect the flow of interrupted dialogue.
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​     “Ms. Plimpton,” Duckworth said. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Detective Barry—”
​     “I know exactly who you are,” she said, and reached out and took his hand in hers.
Notice how by mid-loading the dialogue tag, Ms. Plimpton’s interruption – indicated by the closed-up em dash at the end of Duckworth’s speech – feels more authentic because it’s given the space to flow.
​
Front-loaded dialogue tags
Front-loaded tags come before the dialogue. This position is the one least used in most commercial fiction, and there’s a good reason for that: reader focus.

Those familiar with advice on writing for the web will know that web copy needs to be front-loaded with relevant keywords. This means that the important stuff comes first. That’s because visitors to websites are busy and scanning for solutions to their problems. When they don’t get them fast, they become frustrated and are more likely to jump to another site.

If the novelist’s done their job well, readers will invest way more time in soaking up their prose than if they were shopping for a new duvet cover. Even so, every word in a piece of fiction needs to count, and readers should still be focusing on the most important stuff.

And so if you’ve written great dialogue, most of the time you’ll want to ensure your readers are focusing on it as soon as possible. Front-loading the speech, rather than the tag, helps achieve that.

That’s not to say that front-loaded dialogue tags don’t have their place. They do, and they can be extremely effective when used purposefully.

​When front-loaded tags work:
Impact level, psychic distancing and lyricism

Let’s have a look at how a front-loaded dialogue tag can be used to superb effect when used purposefully.

Impact level
A front-loaded dialogue tag can function in the same way as a mid-loaded one when it comes to speech containing impact points. Again, we’re talking about dialogue that’s witty, suspenseful, or closes with an impactful line that you don’t want to flatten with a tag.

EXAMPLE
Let’s return to the excerpt from Collared. Although Rosenfelt uses a mid-loaded tag, he could have opted for a front-loaded one and preserved the oomph in his closing sentence. Here’s how it might look:
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     ​Laurie drapes her arm around me and says, “Andy, we love you deeply. As far as Ricky and I are concerned, the sun rises and sets on you. And it is from that place of love and that place of the rising and setting sun that we say this to you: 'Sign the damn form and send it in.'"

Psychic distancing
If you want the prose to feel more expository so that the reader is less closely connected to the character, front-loading the tag might be just the ticket. Doing this widens the psychic (or narrative) distance.

A tag tells of speaking whereas dialogue shows what’s being said. By placing the tag first, you draw the reader away from the character’s voice and give the prose a more objective feel.

EXAMPLE
This excerpt is from Jens Lapidus’s Life Deluxe.
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     They veered onto a side street off Storgatan. 
     Jorge's phone rang. 
     Paola: "It's me. Que haces, hermano?" 
     Jorge thought: Should I tell her the truth? 
     "I'm in Södertälje." 
     "At a bakery?" 
     Paola: J-boy loved her. Still, he couldn't take it. 
     He said, "Yeah, yeah, ‘course I'm at a bakery. But we gotta talk later—I got my hands full of muffins here." 
     They hung up.
Lapidus has front-loaded dialogue tags and thoughts in this excerpt, and it’s an excellent example of psychic distancing in action. The centring of the characters rather than the speech gives the prose a detached, clinical feel that shows rather than tells mood.

Jorge is a drug-dealer operating in Stockholm’s shady underworld. He’s only just out of jail but already he’s frustrated with a life of honesty. In fact, he’s got only one thing on his mind: easy money.

The wider psychic distance means we get to see the world through Jorge’s eyes but without getting too close to him. Perhaps Lapidus doesn’t want us to empathize with him too much. Instead, he widens the psychic distance just enough that we can make up our own minds about whether Jorge deserves the trouble coming his way.

Lyricism
Repeated use of front-loaded tags with short bursts of dialogue can introduce a lyricism into prose whereby the tags function as more than just indications of who’s speaking. They become part of the poetry.
​
This approach can work particularly well with parody, satire and comedic prose.

EXAMPLE
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     I posed my conundrum to the class and waited for their insights on what I considered to be my finest theoretical work to date.
     ​Mari said, ‘No.’
     Ahmed said, ‘Yes.’
     Sol said, ‘Maybe.’
     Dave said, ‘I couldn’t give a shit. Is that the best you’ve got?’
     Arthur said nothing, just yawned.
     The bell rang. Suitably insulted, I raised the SIG, shot each student in the head, and retired to the staff room. ​
​Notice how the multiple front-loaded dialogue tags are performing anaphorically. Anaphora is the purposeful repetition of words or phrases at the beginning of successive clauses.

It’s often used in poetry and speeches. When it’s used in novels, that repetition draws the reader's eye and can show rather than tell mood – boredom, monotony or, as in this case, disinterest. The tags are therefore key to the lyricism, and as important as the speech. 

​Summing up

Front-loading dialogue tags is something most authors tend to avoid. However, as is usually the case when it comes to line craft in fiction, there are no rules.

​The key is to consider what purpose your tag is serving and how it can best amplify the speech, evoke mood, and improve rhythm.

​​Cited sources

  • ​Barclay, l., Parting Shot, Orion; 2017 (p. 380)
  • Boyd, W., Solo: A James Bond Novel, Vintage, 2014 (p. 260)
  • Crosby, SA, Blacktop Wasteland, Headline, 2021 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Lapidus, J, Life Deluxe, Pan, 2015 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Rosenfelt, D, Collared, Minotaur Books, 2017 (Kindle edition)​

​Fiction editing training: Books and courses

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

]]><![CDATA[10 tips for examining our language in shared editorial spaces]]>Wed, 14 Sep 2022 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.louiseharnbyproofreader.com/blog/10-tips-for-examining-our-language-in-shared-editorial-spacesIn this episode of The Editing Podcast, we discuss some of the things we’ve learned about examining the words we use and the way we behave in shared editorial spaces.
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​Summary of Episode 99

Listen to find out more about:
  • Familiarising ourselves with the rules of that space
  • Acknowledging that our political, professional and ideological positions are not going to be the same as everyone else’s 
  • Recognizing the potential diversity of our editorial spaces
  • Saying hello and introducing ourselves first
  • Being prepared to be challenged
  • Owning our words if we're challenged
  • Acknowledging that intention not to hurt doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility for that hurt. 
  • Being prepared to feel uncomfortable
  • Accepting our privilege without getting our knickers in a knot!
  • How it's for the white, cis, straight etc people to do the work

Listen to the episode

Related resources

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Music credit

'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod

About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
​
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

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