Discover how lead magnets can help editors and proofreaders build trust and visibility.
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TABLE 1
Text |
Type of prose |
Psychic distance between narrator and reader
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‘Spoiler,’ said Reynolds. ‘I re-interviewed the surviving witnesses and they agreed that Anthony Lane opened fire at the Mary Engine and the jars on the rack. Before you ask, they were both interns and didn’t know where the items had come from.’
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Direct speech
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Wider
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The dead guy, a certain Branwell Petersen, MIT graduate and former Microsoft employee, had died, the witnesses thought, because he stepped between the shooter and the Rose Jars.
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Implied dialogue
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Closer
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‘The interns said he threw himself into the line of fire,’ said Reynolds. ‘As if his life was less important.’
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Direct speech
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Wider
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TABLE 2a
Text |
Type of prose |
I stopped to orientate myself and spotted a street sign – Coldharbour Lane. I’d been in bloody Brixton the whole time. […] I wanted off the street, but didn’t want to put a random homeowner in danger. Instead we ran left towards the train station.
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Narrative: Location of lair
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[…] After less than a hundred metres, Foxglove was showing signs of serious distress and I felt her stumble a couple of times, but we’d reached the shopping parade by then and fortunately the Nisa Local was still open. A nervous black girl of about fifteen who was manning the tills gave us a weary look of disgust as we rushed in. Then got all confused when I told her I was a police office and that I needed to use a phone.
[…] I retreated with Foxglove into the corner where we’d be hidden by the shelves and called Guleed. |
Narrative: Location of store
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[…] Guleed picked up, and I said, ‘We’re in the Nisa Local near Brixton Station and Chorley’s lair is on Coldharbour Lane.’
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Direct speech: Repetition of narrative x2
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TABLE 2b
Text |
Type of prose |
I stopped to orientate myself and spotted a street sign – Coldharbour Lane. I’d been in bloody Brixton the whole time. […] I wanted off the street, but didn’t want to put a random homeowner in danger. Instead we ran left towards the train station.
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Narrative: Location of lair
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[…] After less than a hundred metres, Foxglove was showing signs of serious distress and I felt her stumble a couple of times, but we’d reached the shopping parade by then and fortunately the Nisa Local was still open. A nervous black girl of about fifteen who was manning the tills gave us a weary look of disgust as we rushed in. Then got all confused when I told her I was a police office and that I needed to use a phone.
[…] I retreated with Foxglove into the corner where we’d be hidden by the shelves and called Guleed. |
Narrative: Location of store
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Guleed picked up, and I told her where I was, and where Chorley’s lair was, and let her get on with it.
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Implied dialogue
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TABLE 3
Text |
Type of prose |
Psychic distance between narrator and reader
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I flipped the master power switch as soon as I was inside and pulled a Coke out of the fridge to serve as a coffee substitute while I waited for my PC to boot up. As soon as Skype was running, Reynolds’s call flashed up.
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Narrative
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Closer
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‘What was all that about?’ I asked when I saw her face.
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Direct speech
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Wider
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‘Skinner’s been connected to another case,’ she said.
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Direct speech
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Wider
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At 10.15 on a Monday morning in August 2015, one Anthony Lane walked into the offices of an obscure tech start-up in San Jose carrying a concealed handgun. He talked his way past the receptionist before using the threat of force to gain access to the secure area at the rear and then, once he was in, opened fire. One person was killed instantly, two others were wounded and Lane himself was shot eight times in the back by a responding police officer. The attack barely made the news, being just one of several hundred to several thousand – depending on where you set the parameters – of active shooter incidents so far that year.
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Implied dialogue
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Closer
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‘It wasn’t on my list,’ said Reynolds, ‘because the perp was dead.’
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Direct speech
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Wider
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TABLE 4
Text |
Type of prose |
‘I’ve checked for booby traps and handed it over to the local boys. Alexander is sending a search party tomorrow.’
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Direct speech
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He asked after Stephanopoulos and I passed on the assurances that Dr Walid had given me. I asked if he was heading back tonight and he said he was.
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Implied dialogue
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‘Anything else to report?’ he asked.
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Direct speech
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‘A creeping sense of existential dread,’ I said. ‘Apart from that I’m good.’
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Direct speech
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‘Chin up, Peter. He’s on his last legs – I can feel it.’
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Direct speech
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Once Nightingale had rung off I called Guleed, who’d been arriving as a nasty surprise to bell foundries and metal casting companies from Dudley to Wolverhampton all day.
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Narrative
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She said she’d been just about to phone.
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Implied dialogue
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‘I was right,’ she said. ‘There’s another bell.’
[SECTION BREAK] |
Direct speech: Standout one-liner
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