How to punctuate dialogue broken midstream by an action beat

Want to know how to punctuate dialogue that’s interrupted midstream by an action beat? This post shows you one way of handling it in your fiction writing and editing practice. 

​What’s in this post?

• What is dialogue?
• What is an action beat?
• Midstream dialogue interruptions: Using dashes
• Which case to use: Upper or lower?
• How to avoid using three consecutive punctuation marks

What is dialogue?

Dialogue is the part of a novel that conveys character speech. It’s more usually set off by opening and closing quotation marks (or speech marks).

Depending on your style of choice, these marks can be either singles (‘blah blah’) or doubles (“blah blah”).

It’s more common to see double quotation marks used for books written in US-English style, and single marks used for books written in British-English style, but this is a convention rather than a rule. Consistency is what authors and editors aim for, so make your choice and stick with it.  

What is an action beat?

An action beat is a short description that comes before, between or just after dialogue. It assists dialogue by telling readers about how a character interacts with their environment while they’re speaking, and is useful for showing rather than telling readers how a character is feeling. 
​
That’s particularly useful when the narrative style is limited to the perspective of a single viewpoint character, a common and effective style of writing for many commercial fiction authors.

Examples of dialogue with action beats

Below are three examples of character speech. Note how the action beats help ground the character in their environment and help the reader understand how that character is feeling.

In these examples, I’ve placed the action beats in the middle of the dialogue so you can focus on how the various beats I’ve chosen convey different emotions to the reader: frustration in the first, contemplation in the second, and boredom in the third.

     ‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week?’ Louise rolled her eyes. ‘Okay. Let’s make a backup plan.’

     ‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week?’ Louise drummed her fingers on the table. ‘Okay. Let’s make a backup plan.’
​
     ​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week?’ Louise glanced at the clock and yawned. ‘Okay. Let’s make a backup plan.’

Note that none of these action beats are interrupting the speaker midstream. When they do, the punctuation can become a little more challenging.

​Midstream dialogue interruptions: Using dashes

When authors want to interrupt the speech midstream with an action beat, a common approach is to punctuate with parenthetical dashes.

• Spaced en dashes (–) are a popular convention in British-English style.
• Closed-up em dashes (—) are a popular convention in US-English style.

​This is not the law, not a rule, not the only way or the right way. It’s just the style that many publishers and independent authors choose to follow and that readers are used to seeing. Again, consistency is recommended so that readers aren’t unnecessarily distracted.

Example 1
Here’s an example written in British-English style, using spaced en dashes and single quotation marks.

     ​‘I’m struggling to understand why you’ – he jabbed his finger right under my nose – ‘thought it was okay to change the name of this operation. You’re not the senior investigating officer.’

And here it is again in US-English style, using closed-up em dashes and double quotation marks.

     ​“I’m struggling to understand why you”—he jabbed his finger right under my nose—“thought it was okay to change the name of this operation. You’re not the senior investigating officer.”

Example 2
Here’s an example written in British-English style, using spaced en dashes and single quotation marks. This time we’re dealing with an additional punctuation mark: the ellipsis. 

     ​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by …’ – she scrolled through the messages in her inbox – ‘the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.’

And here it is again in US-English style, using closed-up em dashes and double quotation marks.

     ​“So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by …”—​she scrolled through the messages in her inbox—​“the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.”

​
​Which case to use: Upper or lower?
The action beats contained within the parenthetical dashes don’t start with a capital letter. Instead, the convention asks for lower case because the text is interrupting the dialogue midstream.

​Avoiding three consecutive punctuation marks​

At one point In Example 2 above, there are three punctuation marks in a row: an ellipsis, a quotation mark, and a dash. That’s not something that would bother me because I can see the function each has:
​

• The ellipsis shows that the speaker takes a pause.
• The closing quotation marks indicates that the speech has stopped.
• The dash marks interruptive narrative and tells the reader that the speech will resume after the action beat.

However, some authors feel uncomfortable with multiple punctuation marks. If that’s you, you could try the following:

1. Remove the ellipsis and let the reader insert their own pause
Without the ellipsis, it’s not as clear to the reader if the scrolling is happening at the same time as the character is speaking or if she takes a pause, but does it really matter? In this case, probably not. 

     ​‘So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by’ – she scrolled through the messages in her inbox – ‘the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.’

2. Tell (rather than show) the pause
If an author feels it’s absolutely necessary for the reader to know about the pause but doesn’t want to show it with an ellipsis, they could tell it (she paused).

​Some might consider this a less elegant solution – a little wordy perhaps – but most readers likely won’t bat an eyelid unless those told pauses and hesitations are littering a text.

     “So Mac’s not delivering the report for another week? Jesus, he’s already had two extensions. And in his last email he said it would be in by”—​she paused and scrolled through the messages in her inbox—​“the third of May. It’s right here in black and white. Right, Ibi, tell him he’s blown it and get someone else on it.”

Summing up

​As always, bear in mind that punctuation conventions are useful and helpful ... until they mess with rhythm and mood. The guidance I’m offering is just that – guidance. It’s not a prescriptive set of rules you must follow. 

If you want to interrupt dialogue midstream with action beats, try setting off the beat with dashes.

The choice of whether to use single or double quotation marks and spaced en dashes or closed-up em dashes is the author’s (or the publisher’s). If you’re a freelance fiction editor, check what your client’s style preferences are. 
​
Once the style choice has been made, go for consistency so that readers can concentrate on immersing themselves in the story rather than untangling the punctuation.

Related line-craft resources

• Book: Editing Fiction at Sentence Level
• Courses: The Fiction Line Editing Bundle​
• Course: How to Line Edit for Suspense
• Course: How to Write the Perfect Fiction Editorial Report
• Course: Narrative Distance: A Toolbox for Writers and Editors

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

• Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
• Connect: Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
• Learn: Books and courses
• Discover: Resources for authors and editors