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Here are 8 suggestions for you to consider when disclosing how you use AI in your editing business.
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The impact of AI on editors and proofreaders
Editors and proofreaders are already feeling the effects of AI-assisted technologies on their work.
Why disclosure is important
Making time to understand whether AI is part of our editorial workflow because of the digital tools we use, and then disclosing that usage, ensures we model transparency for our clients and our community.
And when we do it, others feel inspired to do the same. That helps everyone make informed decisions based on the best information we have available at the moment. Being transparent also means we’re participating in a journey that fosters professional integrity and trust. Clients are more likely to feel confident in our recommendations when they see us being honest and understand which tools we’re using, why, and what the limitations and risks are. Perhaps, like me, your approach to disclosure is a work in progress, but I think we should all be accepting of that given how rapidly the landscape around us is changing, and how complex some of the issues are!
Where to disclose your AI use
There’s no single best place. It’s up to you where you make your disclosure and how you link to it.
I work solely with indie authors and so I’ve chosen to include a section in the terms and conditions that make up my contract of services agreement. That’s because this is the text that clients are required to read prior to making a booking. However, some of you might prefer to create a separate disclosure page and link to it from the T&Cs or your contracts. If modelling transparency is important to you, it’s less about where your disclosure is than that it exists in the first place.
What to include in your disclosure
I’ve suggested 8 things to consider for inclusion in your disclosure, though admittedly these are based on my particular needs.
If I’ve omitted anything that you think would be critical to your editorial business, please do leave a comment!
Tip 1. Why you use digital tools
This is an opportunity to state at the outset not just that you are using digital tools – and most of us are using them, though not all of them are AI-assisted – but also why.
It shows clients that you’re able to use technology responsibly, and that the goal is to maintain professional standards for their benefit. Example from my T&Cs ‘To enhance the quality, accuracy, consistency and efficiency of my editing service, I use digital tools that may have AI-assisted technologies running in the background (even if I'm not actively using them).’
Reason
I want to clients to know that I’m not working in the Stone Age, and that my use of digital tools will help give them a better result.
Tip 2. Who’s accountable for the output
This is an opportunity to make it clear that regardless of a machine’s involvement in your editing process, it’s you, the editor, who’s accountable and responsible for what’s delivered.
Here you’re focusing on your human value – the sense and sensibility you bring to your work for them, even though you’re using tools to help with some of the mundane heavy-lifting. Example from my T&Cs ‘All outputs are reviewed and refined by me, a qualified human editor, before delivery to ensure quality and contextual accuracy. Software and AI tools are used strictly to support my human editing process and do not replace my human judgement or professional oversight.’
Reason
I want to draw attention to the fact that a human is in control of the process at all times.
Tip 3. Your use of generative AI in the editing process
Here’s where you can make a clear statement about your specific use of generative AI. It can help to clarify this because not all AI is the same.
Some editors use AI-assisted tools such as ChatGPT, Draftsmith or ProWritingAid for generative support with revisions; some might not. Being transparent helps clients understand what your particular skills are and who or what is doing the work. Example from my T&Cs ‘I do not use generative AI to draft recasts of your text or make stylistic recommendations on how your book should read.’
Reason
I pride myself on my stylistic line editing skills and want clients to know that I, a human editor, have the capability to do this nuanced and emotional work.
Tip 4. Which specific digital tools you use
This is where you can name the digital tools you use as part of your workflow, their specific purpose and whether they’re licenced.
You don’t have to limit yourself to AI-assisted technologies. You can include word-processing and spreadsheet software, PDF tools, consistency checkers, macros, search engines and file management tools associated with your editorial process. Including a full list also means that when you seek a client’s consent (see #8 below), they know exactly which tools they’re consenting to the use of. 3 examples from my T&Cs ‘Microsoft Excel: Used for creating chapter summaries. […] via a licensed version of Microsoft 365.’
Reason
I want my clients to see the breadth of digital tools I use to support my service and to understand that I’m not using any old junk off the internet – where required, I have licences from reputable providers.
Tip 5. Where the tools are hosted
This is an opportunity to tell clients whether each of your tools is hosted locally, in the cloud or elsewhere. Bear in mind the following:
If you’ve committed not to uploading client material to third-party sites, creating this information is a good way of double checking that you’re not in breach of that commitment. 3 examples from my T&Cs ‘Microsoft Word: […] Hosted locally via a licensed version of Microsoft 365.
Reason
By stating where my digital tools are hosted, I hope my clients will trust that I’m handling their data honestly and responsibly, but within the realms of what’s on offer and practical for my business.
Tip 6. AI’s presence and interaction
Some of the editing tools we use may have AI operating in the background, and even though we’re not using it, it’s still ‘reading’ text and transmitting data.
This is an opportunity to be honest about that, and for your client to make informed decisions about whether they’re okay with it. Examples from my T&Cs ‘Microsoft Word: Used for text editing and reporting. Hosted locally via a licensed version of Microsoft 365. Copilot runs in the background but I don't use it for editing. Copilot may still transmit small portions of the text in your project (commonly called 'code') to generate suggestions. Any editorial suggestions I add to your project may also be processed in this way. GitHub provides privacy controls to protect this private work. This private code will not be stored or used to improve Copilot unless I have explicitly opted in, which I have not.
Reason
Compare the italic text in the above examples. I think it’s really important that I’m up front about the fact that Copilot is still sniffing around in the background when I’m using Microsoft Word, even though I’m not actively using the AI to suggest textual edits. This is especially the case given that I’m not yet ready to turn the function off because I’m still exploring how it might aid efficiency with non-client work that I do in Word.
Tip 7. Use of open and closed systems
You can also disclose whether any AI systems you use are open or closed, or what your position is on this matter.
Providing this information shows clients that you understand the differences and are making responsible decisions. Example from my T&Cs ‘I do not use open AI systems for client work. This ensures that your materials are never used for language model training and that your privacy and data are fully protected.’
Reason
I’m still learning about AI, and the list of editorial digital tools I’m using in 2025 may look different in two years’ time. However, I want my clients to be confident that I’m using them in a way that respects their privacy to the best of my ability.
Tip 8. Seeking client consent
If your disclosure is part of your T&Cs and contract agreement, seeking consent is an opportunity for informed transparency, legal compliance and professional integrity.
It’s protects you both, and you’re being clear that there’s choice involved here. You’ve chosen to use a set of tools, but they can decide whether they’re okay with that … before the project’s underway rather than halfway into it, when it's too late. Example from my T&Cs ‘I use reputable providers and maintain the confidentiality of your materials. However, by submitting your content for editing, you acknowledge and consent to my use of the digital tools referred to in [section] in the processing of your materials under my supervision.’
Reason
I want my clients to formally agree that they’re happy for me to use the tools I’ve listed. That way, it’s part of our service agreement from the get-go and avoids misunderstandings.
Can I copy your disclosure statement?
What's right for me, my business and my clients may be partially or completely unsuitable for you and yours, so I wouldn't recommend this.
Instead, think about the tips that I and others in our community have offered up for consideration, and then use that information as a jumping-off point ... something to help you craft your own AI and digital tools disclosure statement – one that's perfect for your business.
Summing up
I hope you've found these tips useful. Creating a transparent digital tools and AI disclosure statement helps all of us professional editors to build trust, demonstrate ethical practice and ensure we're complying with privacy regulations.
It clarifies how our clients' materials are going to be handled, distinguishes our human expertise from automated support, and protects both parties by obtaining informed consent. And, ultimately, by doing this, we're showing our clients that we're professionals who are committed to treating their data and creative work responsibly and securely. Want to take a look at how I've approached the disclosure of digital tools in my terms and conditions? The button below will take you there – scroll down to section 14.
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
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Tips on why your editorial business offering might be ripe for some changes.
Summary of episode 145
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Listen to episode 145Support The Editing Podcast
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Explore a selection of the different types of materials you might consider working on if you’re an academic editor.
Summary of episode 144
Find out more about the following:
Listen to episode 144Support The Editing Podcast
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Learn how to identify glue words, hedges and qualifiers, and then explore whether they’re adding clarity and enhancing character voice, or cluttering your fiction writing.
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What are glue words, hedge words and qualifiers?
Glue words, hedge words and qualifiers serve different purposes and are used in different contexts, but all relate to how language functions in writing or speech.
The function of glue words The function of glue words is structural. They hold or glue a sentence together. By themselves they add little semantic meaning to a sentence. Examples include:
He flicked through the report to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be. The function of hedge words The function of hedge words is modification. They soften or limit the strength of a claim and can introduce uncertainty, speculation, caution or humility. Examples include:
Xe flicked through the report. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. The detective might even come out on xer side once she understood the background. The function of qualifiers The function of qualifiers is limitation. They narrow the meaning of another word such as a noun or adjective, and make a statement more precise. Examples include:
Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad would have said. But that was Lex all over.
Are glue words, hedges and qualifiers signal of poor writing?
No, glue words, hedges and qualifiers are not signals of poor writing, not when they’re used with purpose.
If you’re reading guidance on using these words, watch out for statements arguing bluntly that they:
Why? Because this kind of prescriptivism can encourage developing writers to rip the heart and soul out of a character’s voice, emotions and layered experience. The key is to ensure that every word on the page is working hard for you – whether it’s a glue word, a hedging word, a qualifying word, or some other language marker.
Using glue words, hedges and qualifiers with purpose
Instead of eliminating glue, hedging and qualifying words, review your sentences and consider whether these markers are:
How glue words can enhance prose
Let’s look at an example of how glue words can enhance a piece of prose:
Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad might have said. But, really, that was her all over. Very Lex. Always had been somewhat glass half full. She flicked through the report a second time to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be, but the text was all blurred – headings and words and numbers mashed up together.
This paragraph has multiple glue words including ‘was’, ‘that’, ‘despite’, ‘the’, ‘to’, ‘but’ and ‘and’. Think of them as the cement that holds the prose together, ensuring that the prose maintains a smooth syntactic flow even when internal thought becomes more fragmented or reflective.
But note also the rhythmic tool in play in the final clause – the use of multiple gluing conjunctions (polysyndeton) to show rather than tell Lex’s overwhelm as she looks at the report. Glue words can therefore go beyond their structural function. They can also be used as a literary mechanism to evoke mood and emotion.
How hedge words can enhance prose
The example also contains instances of hedging language including ‘might have said’, ‘somewhat’ and ‘might be’.
Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad might have said. But, really, that was her all over. Very Lex. Always had been somewhat glass half full. She flicked through the report a second time to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be, but the text was all blurred – headings and words and numbers mashed up together.
These hedges reflect Lex’s tentativeness in terms of her dad’s opinion, the prosecutor’s strategy and her own self-judgement about her positivity, and this helps readers understand how she bends towards reflection and uncertainty.
The language also helps the writer convey a more realistic voice that carries nuanced emotional conflict. Lex is trying to be rational but her doubt is intruding. Through this, readers are shown how people rarely speak or think in absolutes.
How qualifiers can enhance prose
The qualifiers in the excerpt adjust the meaning of the words they modify to give reads more emotional texture.
Lex was pretty sure that, despite the officer’s reassurance, she was almost certainly not going to get away with a warning. A little pessimistic, her dad might have said. But, really, that was her all over. Very Lex. Always had been somewhat glass half full. She flicked through the report a second time to get a better sense of what the prosecutor’s approach might be, but the text was all blurred – headings and words and numbers mashed up together.
Overall, the interplay of glue words, hedges and modifiers creates a narrative tone that avoids the extremes of melodrama or stoicism, and instead takes a middle ground that deepens our understanding of Lex as introspective, thoughtful, quietly resigned and gently self-critical.
Summing up
Glue words, hedge words and qualifiers can be effective writing devices when they’re used with purpose.
Don’t ditch yours without first analysing them so you understand whether they’re working for your prose. If they’re just adding to your word count needlessly, remove or rework them. However, if they’re providing your characters with emotional complexity and intelligence, and enhancing the structure, flow and mood of your sentences, embrace them!
Other resources you might like
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
This post explores how to use embedded dialogue snippets and what effect they have on tone, character and flow.
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Capturing speech memory
Dialogue doesn’t only happen in real time. Sometimes a character recalls what was said or what they half-heard, or they mentally echo something that was stated in the past. This is speech memory.
Done well, capturing those moments on the page enhances the reader’s experience. It can affect the mood and flow, and subtly shine a narrative light on one particular character, while still revealing how others interacted verbally with them.
What is embedded dialogue?
Embedded dialogue is reported speech or remembered lines that are woven into the narrative. The quotation marks and dialogue tags that we’d expect to see in active, real-time dialogue are omitted. Here's an example that compares the two approaches:
Active dialogue plus narrative: Dialogue embedded in the narrative:
While the reader gets the same information, the mood is different. The active-dialogue version feels punchier, more immediate. The embedded-dialogue version feels more contemplative.
When to use embedded dialogue
1. To reflect a character’s processing of a memory of speech
A remembered line can reveal emotion or motive without cutting to a flashback or breaking the scene. Here are a couple of embedded-dialogue examples: She'd said he was born angry. Maybe she was right. Johnny had specifically told me not to open the bag. So why had I just done the complete opposite?
Active-dialogue versions might look like this:
“You were born angry.” That’s what she’d said. Maybe she was right. “Don’t open the bag,” Johnny had said. So why had I just done the complete opposite?
Again, neither of these versions – the embedded or active dialogue – are right or wrong. But they do convey a different mood, and the prose flows differently. The active dialogue versions are blunter, terser and highlight different voices. The embedded dialogue is smoother and less tense, and highlights one voice.
2. To keep the focus on the viewpoint character and their present tension Recalling memories of the spoken words can add weight to prose without shifting the spotlight away from the viewpoint character's perspective in the now. Here are two embedded-dialogue examples: The judge had warned him: one more slip, and that was it. This, it seemed, was the slip. He’d told himself not to look back. That the future was what counted. A fresh start.
Active-dialogue versions might look like this:
The judge had warned him: “One more slip, and that’s it.” This, it seemed, was the slip. “Don’t look back,” he’d said to himself. “It’s the future that counts. A fresh start.”
I think the embedded dialogue feels much more grounded in the characters’ immediate conundrums. It's their voice that shines through. The active dialogue, however, even with the pluperfect (past-perfect) speech tags, pulls the reader out of the present and shines a light on other characters' speech.
3. To avoid disruption Long dialogue flashbacks can derail pacing. Embedded snippets allow you to fold the past into present seamlessly. Again, here are two embedded-dialogue examples: He remembered what the old man used to say about control – it’s only real when you don’t have it … just fear in disguise that he shouldn't obsess over. That gumshoe detective had asked him about Denise’s whereabouts that night, what they’d talked about , what they’d eaten for dinner. Jack hadn’t paid much attention at the time – he’d no reason to doubt her. Still, thinking about it now, it was a little weird.
Now let’s turn that into active dialogue:
The old man used to say, “Control is only real when you don’t have it. It’s just fear in disguise. Try not to get obsessed with it.” That gumshoe detective had fired questions at him: “Where was Denise that night? Can you recall what you talked about or what you ate for dinner?” Jack hadn’t paid much attention at the time – he’d no reason to doubt her. Still, thinking about it now, it was a little weird.
I think the active-dialogue versions are disruptive because the recalled speech is so lengthy and flips the focus onto the past speakers.
However, in the embedded-dialogue versions, the flow of the narrative captures the past speech but maintains the smooth flow of the prose and keeps the reader’s gaze firmly on the current viewpoint characters. 4. To add variety to how 'remembered' dialogue is displayed Using a mixture of embedded and active dialogue can add variety to how remembered speech is displayed, making it more interesting for the reader. Here's an example that includes both: The last thing I wanted was to aggravate those two goons who'd trashed my apartment the previous week. Next time, they'd informed me, it wouldn't just be the dining table that got broken. It would be my legs. And my arms. "In fact, if it's attached to you and we can snap it, we will,” the beefier of the two had advised me.
Here, the two styles work with each other to capture multiple speaker voices, but in a way that still ensures the first-person narrator's immediate experience remains dominant.
When active dialogue works
Active dialogue is brilliant in the following circumstances:
The difference between embedded dialogue and free indirect speech
Both free indirect speech and embedded dialogue are narrative techniques used to represent characters’ thoughts or speech, but they differ in structure and how much the narrator mediates the character's voice.
Here are two examples: Example 1. Free indirect speech:
Notice how this feels more subjective. The psychic distance between the reader and the character is very close.
Free indirect speech is all about the viewpoint character and focuses on conveying what’s going on in their head now. Example 2. Embedded dialogue:
Notice how this feels a little more objective and told because of the expository filter word ‘wondering’ and ‘speech-memory indicator ‘said he’d’. The psychic distance is a little wider in this case, as if the prose is being told by the narrator.
Embedded dialogue is all about the viewpoint character’s recollection; it holds the essence of memory … that something specific was actually said in the past. Neither is right or wrong. Instead, free indirect speech and embedded dialogue serve different purposes, and so one might work better than the other depending on what the author’s trying to achieve.
Summing up
Embedded dialogue snippets let you carry the weight of past speech without quoting every line. Use them to deepen character, maintain narrative flow and give your prose a more intimate texture.
When done well, embedded dialogue allows the past to echo through to the present, shaping motive and mood without slowing the action. It’s not just about what was said, but how your viewpoint character remembers it.
Other resources you might like
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Learn about editorial foundations, growth, sustainability, legacy and marketing with this 5-book series.
Fancy reading some of the core takeaways from The Editing Podcast? Notes from the Podcast is a brand-new book series that focuses on five core areas of editorial business development.
What’s in the series?
Currently there are five books in the Notes from the Podcast series, all focusing on what Denise and I like gassing about the most – running, growing, sustaining and marketing an editing and proofreading business.
Is the content identical to The Editing Podcast?
So, yes, it’s still our podcast content, but it’s been repurposed and reworked so that it’s book-fit.
How long did it take to create the books?
The answer to how long it took depends on your starting point.
We didn’t write the books from scratch – creating them required having the podcast scripts in the first place. And since we broadcast our first episode in 2019, so you could say the journey started then.
We’ve spent the past three years doing the following to bring these books to life:
Did you use AI?
The biggest challenge we faced in making this project viable was untangling well over 100,000 scripted words spread across 145 separate episodes broadcast in no particular order.
Some of that scripted content was irrelevant because it:
Even the content that was relevant wasn’t located only in episodes whose titles made it obvious. It was all over the place! Plus, it was scripted in a way that suited voices rather than books.
Unless we got help.
We talked over the options and wondered if AI might come to the rescue. We decided to give it the task of:
That was a learning curve because it took a while to work out how give it the right prompts to ensure it gave us exactly what we wanted. However, it was time well spent because we got there in the end! So, yes, we did use AI – to analyse our own content and extract the chunks of it that we wanted. From then on, it was up to us to do what we do best …
What Louise and Denise did
With that done, we turned to:
And finally, we published!
Why bother publishing when people can listen?
Denise and I have always been massive advocates for repurposing valuable content because it respects the fact that people like to get their information in different ways.
Some like to listen. Some like to watch. And some like to read.
How to buy the books
All five books are available in print via Amazon.
Still want to listen? Head over to The Editing Podcast!
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
This post explores how oversimplifications of human motivation as ‘good’ versus ‘evil’ can damage crime fiction, mysteries and thrillers.
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The trouble with clear-cut morality
In real life, morality is murky. Few people do harm ‘just because’. People do bad things for complex reasons, and those in investigative roles – and apparently on the side of justice – don’t always behave impeccably.
Compelling contemporary crime fiction tends to avoid rigid binaries that present ‘good’ and ‘bad’ characters, where the villain is evil because they commit a crime, and the sleuth is good because they solve it. Going down that route can weaken character development, limit emotional relatability and misrepresent how justice manifests in a way that’s plausible. How to turn flat caricatures into relatable characters
In a binary model, the villain is ‘monsterized’ as inherently bad – the evil psychopath or lowlife. The focus is more on the nastiness they’ve done.
Meanwhile, the investigator is ‘heroized’ as inherently good – the wonderful restorer of order. The focus is on how they’ve saved the day. However, when you provide a deeper understanding of the reasons why a criminal acted as they did, and when you make space for a sleuth’s flaws, doubts and moral ambiguity, readers are able to access more plausible and fully rounded characters with human backstories and worldviews, however flawed.
Prompt for writers and editors Exploring justice that reflects reality
Ditching binary models of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ allows you to explore crime and justice in a way that engages readers who’ve experienced systemic injustice in real life, as well as those whose privilege means they haven’t.
For example, a criminal’s actions might stem from something far more alarming than pure greed. It could be grounded in, or driven by, their experience of poverty, fear, abuse, racial- or class-based oppression. Taking this approach asks readers to consider where biases in the system are, who the establishment serves, and whether equal opportunity really stands up under the microscope.
Prompt for writers and editors Building tension through real-world themes
Avoiding traditional ‘good’ and ‘bad’ binaries encourages space for exploring themes that cement tension throughout the novel, and speak to readers living in the world as it is now … or the one it might be in the not-too-distant future.
Through those themes, you might explore societies’ values, and what constitutes criminal behaviour in terms of your own and your readers’ values. Are there are circumstances where bad deeds might be justified for the greater good? For example, could the perpetrator and the investigator both be grappling with thorny concepts that make who’s ‘right’ and who’s ‘wrong’ ambiguous?
Prompt for writers and editors Summing up
Crime fiction and thrillers can reveal uncomfortable truths about people and systems. By embracing ambiguity, you can craft more emotionally resonant and morally engaging stories.
To keep your characters interesting and out of binary waters, ask yourself whether the most compelling villain might be one who almost persuades us, and whether the most unforgettable hero might be one who almost breaks our trust. Other resources you might like
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Learn about editorial reports, and whether you should provide them to clients.
Summary of episode 143
Find out more about the following:
Listen to episode 143
Support The Editing Podcast
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Learn how to find a professional academic editor or proofreader who's the ideal fit for you.
Summary of episode 142
Listen to find out more about
Listen to episode 142Support The Editing Podcast
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Backstory helps readers understand why characters act the way they do and what their motivations are. This post offers five tips on how to introduce it so that it enriches, rather than distracts from, the main story.
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What is character backstory?
Backstory is the fictional history of a character before the main plot begins. It could include past events, relationships, traumas or achievements that shape their present behaviour and decisions. Backstory should be:
To ensure you hit the mark, think about which of the following mechanisms might work best for your novel.
1. Drip feed the information
Think of backstory as the seasoning rather than the main dish. It can be tempting to give readers everything you want them to know about the past in a dedicated and detailed chapter. However, this comes with risk. Your reader, who’s itching to move forward and find out what’s going to happen next, is forced backwards.
The focus is no longer on the now of the novel, but on a different time and space. That in itself can be distracting. Plus, by giving readers all this backstory in one fell swoop, you could lose the opportunity to introduce suspense, mystery or intrigue. Instead of an information dump, try instead a brief but telling reference that’s related to the current action. For example, if your character’s past involves an event that’s made them mistrustful of small spaces, you could hint at this in the narrative, but explain it more fully in a piece of dialogue later on. Here’s how that might look at first mention. The backstory nudge is in bold. Baz legged it towards the market square but took the long way, avoiding the alley. Too dark. Too small. He’d never make that mistake again, not after last time. This way, you’re revealing backstory in smaller chunks – ones that invite the reader to think: What happened last time he went into a dark alley? This builds suspense and leaves readers with questions that you can answer later. And for now, the reader stays in the moment with Baz, running towards the square and finding safety in the crowd.
2. Use natural dialogue
Dialogue can be a superb way of unveiling backstory. Depending on when it comes up, you can drip feed or go into more detail.
The key is to ensure that it sounds natural rather than being a convenient tool. For example, if Marcus already knows about Baz’s fears, the following will feel overworked. The dialogue is for the reader’s benefit only, not what these two people might actually say to each other. *** AVOID *** This kind of dialogue-for-convenience is sometimes referred to as maid-and-butler dialogue. To avoid it, try something like the following instead. ‘You’re late,’ Marcus said, tapping his watch. ‘I was expecting you five minutes ago.’ Again, this version hints at a traumatic event in the past, but leaves an intriguing space for more to be revealed later.
3. Interject with narrative reflection
If the time has come to reveal more, you could use the space between the dialogue to offer a little more insight.
Take care to restrain it. Give the reader just enough, then pull them back to the present action. Here’s how that might look. ‘You’re late,’ Marcus said, tapping his watch. ‘I was expecting you five minutes ago.’
4. Use other characters to reveal backstory
You could decide to hint at a character’s backstory through how others see them. Again, readers should be given only what they need to know, and the reveal should be relevant to the scene.
Fi touched the screen. ‘So this is our route out. I don’t like it. See here? This alley is tight. No lights. Baz might be on his own, and we both know Baz doesn’t do confined spaces … at least he hasn’t done for the past eighteen months.’ Notice how we’re given a nudge about something in Baz’s past that means alternative arrangements have to be made. These add a little complexity to the plan Fi and Marcus are working on, but there’s space to explore in more detail at a later point. If it’s time to introduce that extra detail, an alternative could see Marcus reflecting internally on a plan he’s put together. Here, the backstory is more detailed but it’s still relevant to the present issue that he’s focusing on – planning an escape. The obvious route out was the alley. Through the kitchen, into the yard, over the wall, and they’d be gone. Two minutes tops. In theory it was good. In practice it was risky. Not for him and Fi. They were sound. But Baz would need to keep his head in the game. And for the past eighteen months, it hadn’t been. His friend had been ambushed, beaten to a pulp, the seventy-three stiches transforming his scalp into something Picasso would have been proud of. Since then, even the suggestion of a tight, unlit space had him going off on one.
5. Use sounds, objects or settings as triggers
The external environment can be effective tools with which to introduce backstory. Your protagonist might see, hear or touch something that triggers a memory or an emotion.
Here are two examples. Once more, they’re mere nudges that make the reader ask questions, rather than lengthy explanations that risk flattening the prose. There was a door to his left. Baz opened it. A narrow flight of wooden steps led downwards. He flicked the switch by the latch. A light flashed on, then fizzled and died. He stepped back and shut the door. Shuddered. Too dark, too tight. Not happening. Fi ran her hand over the cracked porcelain sink. Same kind they’d had in the safehouse in Rotterdam. Good times. Her, Marcus and Baz. All in it together. All of them with their heads in the game. All of them thinking they were invincible.
Summing up
Backstory is as a tool that gives your crime fiction and its characters emotional depth at any point it’s introduced. If it doesn’t affect how the reader engages with the story in the moment, remove it.
Keep it taut so that the reader remains engrossed in the novel’s present – what the characters are doing/feeling now. Nudges and hints at first mention are often far more suspenseful and intriguing. If backstory is dragging on for multiple paragraphs or even chapters – a within-novel biography – rethink its structure and how you might break it up so that you reveal it gradually.
Other resources you might like
About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
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