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The Editing Blog: for Editors, Proofreaders and Writers

FOR EDITORS, PROOFREADERS AND WRITERS

Can I place a dialogue tag before the character’s speech?

21/10/2022

2 Comments

 
Writers can place dialogue tags before, between and after speech – there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Tag-first speech does have a different feel to it though, particularly when the construction is used frequently. This post explores the impact on your novel.
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In this post ...

Read on to find out more about the following:
​
  • What a dialogue tag is
  • Back-loaded tags
  • Mid-loaded tags
  • Front-loaded tags
  • Impact level, psychic distancing and lyricism in front-loaded tags


​What a dialogue tag is

A dialogue tag is the short piece of text that tells a reader that a character is speaking, and which character is speaking. For example:
​
  • Are you enjoying reading that blog post?’ Louise said.
  • ‘Are you enjoying reading that blog post?’ she asked.

In the above examples, the tags are shown in bold and comprise the subject (someone’s name or their pronoun) doing the speaking, and the verb from which the reader can infer that the action of speech is taking place.

Commonly used effective verbs include ‘said’, ‘asked’, ‘replied’, ‘whispered’, ‘muttered’, ‘yelled’, ‘continued’ and ‘added’.
​
Ineffective dialogue tags use verbs that bring to mind action that’s not related precisely to speech but to some other behaviour. Examples include ‘sneered’, ‘grimaced’, ‘laughed’, ‘harrumphed’, ‘huffed’, ‘sighed’, ‘snarled’ and ‘urged’.


​Positioning tags in fiction:
​Back-loading, mid-loading and front-loading

There is no right or wrong position for a dialogue tag. Authors can mix them up as they choose. Tags can even be omitted when it’s clear who’s speaking.
​
So where might they go?

Dialogue tags can be front-loaded, mid-loaded and back-loaded.

Back-loaded dialogue tags
Back-loaded tags come after the speech and are used commonly. Consider using them in the following circumstances:

  • ​Length of dialogue: Your character’s dialogue is a short burst and you want to ensure the reader’s attention is focused on what’s being said straightaway, rather than who’s saying it.
  • Impact level: The dialogue is relevant but low key. There’s no punchline that might be flattened by a tag.

EXAMPLES
     ‘I won’t be long,’ Bond said, opening the door.
(Boyd: Solo)
​
     ​“Me and Jaymie will call it. You want your boy to go too?” he said.
(Crosby: Blacktop Wasteland)
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Mid-loaded dialogue tags
Mid-loaded tags come between the speech. They, too, are a popular choice for writers. Consider this option in the following circumstances:
​
  • Length: The dialogue stream is longer and you want to ensure your readers don’t wait too long to discover who’s speaking.
  • Rhythm and context: You want to introduce a natural pause so that the speech doesn’t turn into a monologue. You can also supplement the tag with descriptive action that grounds the dialogue in the environment and helps the reader picture the scene.
  • Impact level: You’ve written a witty, suspenseful or impactful punchline into the dialogue and don’t want it interrupted or flattened by a tag.
  • Interrupted speech: You’ve written speech that’s interrupted abruptly and don’t want the tag interfering with the interrupter’s speech.

EXAMPLE 1
This first example is from David Rosenfeld's Collared.
     “Andy,” Laurie says, draping her arm around me. "We love you deeply. As far as Ricky and I are concerned, the sun rises and sets on you. And it is from that place of love and that place of the rising and setting sun that we say this to you: 'Sign the damn form and send it in.'"
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Notice how in the above example of single-character dialogue, which comprises a total of 51 words, the impact point is with the closing sentence: ‘Sign the damn form and send it in’. Because the tag’s located earlier, that dialogue gets to shine.

​Compare the original with this version, which I’ve given a back-loaded tag:
     “Andy, we love you deeply. As far as Ricky and I are concerned, the sun rises and sets on you. And it is from that place of love and that place of the rising and setting sun that we say this to you: 'Sign the damn form and send it in,'" Laurie says, draping her arm around me.

​Back-loading the tag strips ‘Sign the damn form and send it in’ of its oomph.

EXAMPLE 2
Here’s an example from Linwood Barclay’s Parting Shot that shows how mid-loaded tags can protect the flow of interrupted dialogue.
     “Ms. Plimpton,” Duckworth said. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Detective Barry—”
​     “I know exactly who you are,” she said, and reached out and took his hand in hers.
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Notice how by mid-loading the dialogue tag, Ms. Plimpton’s interruption – indicated by the closed-up em dash at the end of Duckworth’s speech – feels more authentic because it’s given the space to flow.
​
Front-loaded dialogue tags
Front-loaded tags come before the dialogue. This position is the one least used in most commercial fiction, and there’s a good reason for that: reader focus.

Those familiar with advice on writing for the web will know that web copy needs to be front-loaded with relevant keywords. This means that the important stuff comes first. That’s because visitors to websites are busy and scanning for solutions to their problems. When they don’t get them fast, they become frustrated and are more likely to jump to another site.

If the novelist’s done their job well, readers will invest way more time in soaking up their prose than if they were shopping for a new duvet cover. Even so, every word in a piece of fiction needs to count, and readers should still be focusing on the most important stuff.

And so if you’ve written great dialogue, most of the time you’ll want to ensure your readers are focusing on it as soon as possible. Front-loading the speech, rather than the tag, helps achieve that.

That’s not to say that front-loaded dialogue tags don’t have their place. They do, and they can be extremely effective when used purposefully.


​When front-loaded tags work:
Impact level, psychic distancing and lyricism

Let’s have a look at how a front-loaded dialogue tag can be used to superb effect when used purposefully.

Impact level
A front-loaded dialogue tag can function in the same way as a mid-loaded one when it comes to speech containing impact points. Again, we’re talking about dialogue that’s witty, suspenseful, or closes with an impactful line that you don’t want to flatten with a tag.

EXAMPLE
Let’s return to the excerpt from Collared. Although Rosenfelt uses a mid-loaded tag, he could have opted for a front-loaded one and preserved the oomph in his closing sentence. Here’s how it might look:
     ​Laurie drapes her arm around me and says, “Andy, we love you deeply. As far as Ricky and I are concerned, the sun rises and sets on you. And it is from that place of love and that place of the rising and setting sun that we say this to you: 'Sign the damn form and send it in.'"
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Psychic distancing
If you want the prose to feel more expository so that the reader is less closely connected to the character, front-loading the tag might be just the ticket. Doing this widens the psychic (or narrative) distance.

A tag tells of speaking whereas dialogue shows what’s being said. By placing the tag first, you draw the reader away from the character’s voice and give the prose a more objective feel.

EXAMPLE
This excerpt is from Jens Lapidus’s Life Deluxe.
     They veered onto a side street off Storgatan. 
     Jorge's phone rang. 
     Paola: "It's me. Que haces, hermano?" 
     Jorge thought: Should I tell her the truth? 
     "I'm in Södertälje." 
     "At a bakery?" 
     Paola: J-boy loved her. Still, he couldn't take it. 
     He said, "Yeah, yeah, ‘course I'm at a bakery. But we gotta talk later—I got my hands full of muffins here." 
     They hung up.
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Lapidus has front-loaded dialogue tags and thoughts in this excerpt, and it’s an excellent example of psychic distancing in action. The centring of the characters rather than the speech gives the prose a detached, clinical feel that shows rather than tells mood.

Jorge is a drug-dealer operating in Stockholm’s shady underworld. He’s only just out of jail but already he’s frustrated with a life of honesty. In fact, he’s got only one thing on his mind: easy money.

The wider psychic distance means we get to see the world through Jorge’s eyes but without getting too close to him. Perhaps Lapidus doesn’t want us to empathize with him too much. Instead, he widens the psychic distance just enough that we can make up our own minds about whether Jorge deserves the trouble coming his way.

Lyricism
Repeated use of front-loaded tags with short bursts of dialogue can introduce a lyricism into prose whereby the tags function as more than just indications of who’s speaking. They become part of the poetry.
​
This approach can work particularly well with parody, satire and comedic prose.

EXAMPLE
     I posed my conundrum to the class and waited for their insights on what I considered to be my finest theoretical work to date.
     ​Mari said, ‘No.’
     Ahmed said, ‘Yes.’
     Sol said, ‘Maybe.’
     Dave said, ‘I couldn’t give a shit. Is that the best you’ve got?’
     Arthur said nothing, just yawned.
     The bell rang. Suitably insulted, I raised the SIG, shot each student in the head, and retired to the staff room. 

​Notice how the multiple front-loaded dialogue tags are performing anaphorically. Anaphora is the purposeful repetition of words or phrases at the beginning of successive clauses.

It’s often used in poetry and speeches. When it’s used in novels, that repetition draws the reader's eye and can show rather than tell mood – boredom, monotony or, as in this case, disinterest. The tags are therefore key to the lyricism, and as important as the speech. 


​Summing up

Front-loading dialogue tags is something most authors tend to avoid. However, as is usually the case when it comes to line craft in fiction, there are no rules.

​The key is to consider what purpose your tag is serving and how it can best amplify the speech, evoke mood, and improve rhythm.

​
​Cited sources

  • ​Barclay, l., Parting Shot, Orion; 2017 (p. 380)
  • Boyd, W., Solo: A James Bond Novel, Vintage, 2014 (p. 260)
  • Crosby, SA, Blacktop Wasteland, Headline, 2021 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Lapidus, J, Life Deluxe, Pan, 2015 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Rosenfelt, D, Collared, Minotaur Books, 2017 (Kindle edition)​


​Fiction editing training: Books and courses

  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level (book)
  • Fiction editing and writing resources (online library)
  • How to Line Edit for Suspense (multimedia course)
  • How to Write the Perfect Fiction Editorial Report (multimedia course)
  • Narrative Distance: A Toolbox for Writers and Editors (multimedia course)
  • Preparing Your Book for Submission (multimedia course)
  • Switching to Fiction (multimedia course)
  • What is anaphora and how can you use it in fiction writing? (blog post)
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.


  • Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
  • Connect: Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
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2 Comments
Stephen Geez link
11/11/2022 10:11:10 pm

This is all excellent clarity and advice. I would add another: the No Tag. I see adding description to the tag, but often I find it most effective to REPLACE the tag with description. Since characters in conversation do not speak in the same paragraph, the paragraph breaks help separate which character is speaking. Thus, when you have paragraphs Bob said, "... then Cindy said, "... and go back and forth, the next paragraph can be "Ted joined the group after work. 'What's going on, guys?'" You know clearly that Ted just spoke without having to add "said as he joined the group" or some other iteration. So, description instead of a tag is often the BEST way to help visualize without bogging the flow with unnecessary tags. Thanks for a great post!

Reply
Louise Harnby
11/11/2022 10:40:18 pm

Absolutely agree! I cover than in another post on action beats.

Reply



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