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The Editing Blog: for Editors, Proofreaders and Writers

FOR EDITORS, PROOFREADERS AND WRITERS

Where to place ‘said’ in a dialogue tag

27/11/2021

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Does ‘said’ come before or after the subject in a dialogue tag? Does it matter? This post explores the options and offers practical recommendations that serve writers seeking to build their author platform.
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In this post ...

Read on to find out more about the following:
​
  • What a dialogue tag is
  • Why tags should support, not supplant dialogue
  • Tagging: Positioning the verb in relation to pronouns
  • Tagging: Positioning the verb in relation to nouns
  • Standing out in ways that serve reader expectations


What a dialogue tag is

A dialogue tag, or speech tag, is the short piece of text that tells a reader that a character is speaking, and which character is speaking. For example:

  • ‘Are you enjoying reading that blog post,’ Louise said.
  • ‘I’m interested in learning about dialogue,’ ze replied.
  • ‘Can I stick to non-fiction editing?’ he asked.

Effective dialogue tags use verbs from which the reader can infer that the action of speech is taking place. Examples include ‘said’, ‘asked’, ‘replied’, ‘whispered’, ‘muttered’, ‘yelled’, ‘continued’ and ‘added’.

Ineffective dialogue tags use verbs that bring to mind action that’s not related precisely to speech but to some other behaviour. Examples include ‘sneered’, ‘grimaced’, ‘laughed’, ‘harrumphed’, ‘huffed’, ‘sighed’, ‘snarled’ and ‘urged’.

In this post, I’m going to focus on a question that beginner fiction authors and editors often ask about: where to locate ‘said’ and other effective tagging verbs.
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First, though, here’s a quick recap about why ‘said’ is such a popular dialogue tag.


Why tags should support, not supplant dialogue

‘Said’ is the most popular speech tag in English-language writing because it’s virtually invisible. Readers are so used to seeing it that they ignore it and instead focus on its mechanical function – to verify who’s doing the speaking.

It’s become so conventional that when authors go out of their way to replace every instance of ‘said’ with alternatives, they risk creating prose that feels laboured.

Showy speech tags in particular stand out, and that means they pull the reader’s attention away from the dialogue and push it towards the speech tag.

That’s not a good reader experience because when characters communicate through speech, that’s where the action is in that moment. The tag should support that action, not supplant it.

You can find out more about how to tag dialogue in Editing Fiction at Sentence Level, including:

  • Showy speech tags and underdeveloped dialogue
  • Showy speech tags and double-telling
  • Non-speech-based dialogue tags and the reality flop
  • Alternatives to showy speech tags – more on action beats
  • Using proper nouns and pronouns in dialogue tags
  • Omitting dialogue tags

Now let’s look at where to place ‘said’ and other tagging verbs.


Tagging: Positioning the verb in relation to pronouns

Regardless of which pronouns are in play, it’s conventional in contemporary commercial fiction to place ‘said’ or any other tagging verb after the pronoun. Take a look at what’s on your bookshelf. Examples are easy to find. Here are some from my collection.
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  • “I know,” she says. “I’m violating the cardinal rule of family night.” (Crouch: Dark Matter)
  • ‘I could do your job myself, if that’s what you mean,’ he’d said at last. (Herron: Slough House)
  • “I don’t have no fucking mask,” he said. (Connelly: The Dark Hours)
  • “Me and Jaymie will call it. You want your boy to go too?” he said. (Crosby: Blacktop Wasteland)

​Let’s have a look at those examples when the verb is placed before the pronouns.
  • “I know,” says she. “I’m violating the cardinal rule of family night.”
  • ‘I could do your job myself, if that’s what you mean,’ said he at last.
  • “I don’t have no fucking mask,” said he.
  • “Me and Jaymie will call it. You want your boy to go too?” said he.

​There’s actually nothing grammatically wrong with any of the edited examples, though I wasn't able to retain the past perfect in the second. What has gone awry is the narrative setting.

The dialogue is written in contemporary English but the verb placement evokes a distinctly historical feel that’s inappropriate.

So how about when nouns rather than pronouns are in play?


Tagging: Positioning the verb in relation to nouns

Authors published by mainstream presses tend to follow the same convention: the verb follows the noun. Once more, a visit to your bookshelf will confirm the frequency in contemporary commercial fiction. Here are some more examples from my collection.
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  • “There was nothing you could have done,” Judith said. (Coben: Fool Me Once)
  • ‘Are you feeling the cold?’ Danny asked. (McDermid: 1979)
  • “Sir, I can’t help you until you get a mask,” Moore said. (Connelly: The Dark Hours)
  • “The question is, do you have the balls to back it up?” Kelvin said. (Crosby: Blacktop Wasteland)

Now let’s move the verb so that it sits before the noun.
  • “There was nothing you could have done,” said Judith.
  • ‘Are you feeling the cold?’ asked Danny.
  • “Sir, I can’t help you until you get a mask,” said Moore.
  • “The question is, do you have the balls to back it up?” said Kelvin. 

Again, there’s nothing grammatically problematic about this structure. Furthermore, the switch doesn’t jar in the same way as when the subjects are pronouns.
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So how should independent authors (and the editors who support them) approach the structure of a tag?


Standing out in ways that serve reader expectations

I recommend my authors follow the noun-first convention, not because it’s right, or best, or grammatically correct, or the only one true way, but because when it comes to contemporary commercial fiction:

  • lots of potential buyers of their books have come to expect this construction
  • and it's the approach that mainstream presses tend to take.

When readers are presented with stories that break with convention, there’s a risk that the story’s no longer the standout feature. Instead, those with strong preferences focus on minutiae that challenge their expectations.

That focus isn’t serving a writer who’s trying to build their author platform.

Mick Herron has built enough trust with his readership with his brilliant Jackson Lamb series that no one will bat an eyelid when they read the following in Slough House:
​
‘Ian Fleming,’ said Diana Taverner. ‘Means “Death to spies”.’
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Nevertheless, I scoured the first chapter of that book and found that in the main he still favours placing the verb after the subject. 


Summing up

Placing ‘said’ and other speech-related verbs after the subject isn’t a ‘rule’ that must be applied in order to ensure a dialogue tag is grammatically correct.

However, it’s such a common convention that I recommend indie authors of contemporary commercial fiction follow it.

When the subjects in a tag are pronouns, this structure is essential for retaining a contemporary feel. When the subjects are nouns, placing them first gives the pedants one less thing to gripe about.


Related reading and training

  • Coben, H., Fool Me Once, Arrow, 2016 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Connelly, M, The Dark Hours, Orion, 2021 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Crosby, SA, Blacktop Wasteland, Headline, 2021 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Crouch, B, Dark Matter, Pan, 2017 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • Harnby, L, Editing Fiction at Sentence Level, Panx Press, 2020
  • Herron, M, Slough House, John Murray, 2021 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)
  • McDermid, V, 1979, Little, Brown, 2021 (Chapter 1, Kindle edition)

Fiction editing training courses
  • How to Write the Perfect Fiction Editorial Report
  • Narrative Distance: A Toolbox for Writers and Editors
  • Narrative Style: Viewpoint, Tense and Voice
  • Preparing Your Book for Submission
  • Switching to Fiction
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

  • Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader
  • Connect: Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
  • Learn: Books and courses
  • Discover: Resources for authors and editors
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