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The Editing Blog: for Editors, Proofreaders and Writers

FOR EDITORS, PROOFREADERS AND WRITERS

Where to place dialogue tags in fiction

10/8/2020

7 Comments

 
​Not sure where to place your speech tags? This guide shows you how to tell readers who’s speaking, not based on a set of rules but in respect of clarity, suspense, invisibility, and rhythm.
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​What is a dialogue tag?
Dialogue tags, or speech tags, are complementary short phrases that tell the reader who’s talking. They’re not always necessary, particularly if there are only two speakers in a scene, but when they are used, this is what they look like:

  • ‘Dump that corpse and don’t ever mention it again,’ the hooded guy whispered.
  • “Thanks for holding the gun,” Tom said. “Now pull the trigger.”
  • Marg turned. Smirked. Said, ‘Tomorrow. If you’re late, he’s late. Geddit?’

Said is often best because readers are so used to seeing it that it’s pretty much invisible and therefore less interruptive.

What’s the rule about where tags go?
Dialogue tags can be placed after, between or before dialogue. Authors sometimes ask which position is best or whether there’s a rule.

There is no rule. All three positions have advantages and disadvantages, depending on what you want to achieve.

Position: After dialogue
Readers are so used to seeing speech tags like said at the end of dialogue that they’re almost invisible. That allows the dialogue, rather than the speaking of the dialogue, to be the focus.

Below is a wee example from Recursion (p. 292). The speech takes centre stage; the doing of speech (screaming, in this case) comes afterwards.
​​
Furthermore, when the tag comes after the dialogue, it can roll seamlessly into any supporting narrative, as shown in the example from The Ghost Fields (p. 194).
     “Come on!” he screams.

​     ‘It’s very … evocative,’ says Ruth. This is true. The brushwork may be crude, the planes out of perspective and the figures barely more than stick men, but there’s something about the work of the unknown airman that brings back the past more effectively than any documentary or reconstruction.
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There are a couple of potential disadvantages:
​
  • In longer chunks of dialogue in scenes with more than two speakers, the reader will have to wait until the end of the speech to find out who’s saying what.
  • Placement at the end of speech can flatten a one-liner or suspense point in dialogue.

Position: Between dialogue
Placing speech tags between dialogue is also common and unlikely to jar the reader. Here are three reasons why it works:

  • The tag breaks up longer streams of dialogue, which is especially handy if a monologue’s rearing its head.
  • We’re given an early indication who’s speaking. If there are more than two speakers in a scene, and the reader’s likely to be confused, placement between the speech is an effective solution.
  • One-liners, suspense points and shocks get to take centre stage. Adding the speech tag at the end could flatten the tension.

Here are two examples in which the mid placement of the tag means the suspense isn't interfered with. The first is taken from The Ghost Fields (p. 194); the second is something I made up.
     ‘It’s not signed,’ says Frank, ‘but there’s something that may be a clue.’

     ​“Thanks for holding the gun,” Tom said. “Now pull the trigger.”
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​
In the first example, not having the speech tag at the end of the dialogue focuses the reader on one question: what’s the clue? Not: Frank’s the speaker.

In the second example, rejig the sentence so that Tom said comes after all the speech, and notice how this makes the wallop vanish from the line about pulling the trigger.

Position: Before dialogue
Placement of the tag before the dialogue isn’t a no-no but it is a less common option and more noticeable.

A tag tells of speaking; dialogue shows character voice, mood and intention. When the speaker’s announced first, it’s a tap on the shoulder that draws attention to speaking being done. It expands what author and creative-writing expert Emma Darwin calls the ‘psychic distance’ between the reader and the speaker, which can flatten the mood.

And, yet, this can also be its advantage. That tap introduces a more staccato rhythm that can stop a reader in their tracks.
​
In this extract from Recursion (p. 292), the placement of the tag before the dialogue induces an acute sense of resignation – that dull thump in the pit of one’s stomach when the proverbial’s hit the fan.
     “That’s a Black Hawk,” he says. “Wonder what’s going on in town.”
     The chopper banks hard to the left and slows its groundspeed, now drifting back in their direction as it lowers from five hundred feet toward the ground.
     ​Helena says, “They’re here for us.”
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Not placing tags: Omission
There’s no need to include a speech tag if it’s adding nothing but clutter. In the following example from Recursion (p. 125), the author has omitted them because there are only two speakers. He lets the dialogue, and its punctuation, inject the voice, mood and intention into the scene rather than telling us who’s speaking and how they’re saying it.
     Slade lifts his Champagne glass and polishes off the rest.
     “You stole that other life from me.”
     “Helena—”
     “Was I married? Did I have kids?”
     “Do you really want to know? It doesn’t matter now. It never happened.”
     ​“You’re a monster.”
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Summing up
​
Placement of dialogue tags isn’t about rules. It’s about purpose:
​
  • Varying rhythm
  • Respecting mood and suspense
  • Clarifying who’s speaking
  • Avoiding unnecessary clutter

For that reason, mixing up the position of speech tags can be effective.

​Let’s end with an extract from Out of Sight (pp. 135–7), which demonstrates the varied ways in which author Elmore Leonard handles his tagging: beginning, between, end, and omission.
     ‘But you think they’re coming back,’ Karen said.
     ​‘Yes, indeed, and we gonna have a surprise party. I want you to take a radio, go down to the lobby and hang out with the folks. You see Foley and this guy Bragg, what do you do?’
     ‘Call and tell you.’
     ‘And you let them come up. You understand? You don’t try to make the bust yourself.’
     Burdon slipping back into his official mode.
     ​Karen said, ‘What if they see me?’
     ‘You don’t let that happen,’ Burdon said. ‘I want them upstairs.’
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Cited sources and further reading
  • Editing Fiction at Sentence Level, Louise Harnby, Panx Press, 2020
  • How to Punctuate Dialogue (free webinar)
  • Out of Sight, Elmore Leonard, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2017
  • Recursion, Blake Crouch, Pan, 2020
  • The Ghost Fields, Elly Griffiths, Quercus, 2015
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Fiction Editor & Proofreader, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, connect via Facebook and LinkedIn, and check out her books and courses.
7 Comments
Mary Nolte link
24/8/2020 04:01:16 pm

This is so helpful! I have had a few clients with dialogue issues. I'm going to hang onto this link so I can share it in the future when I have questions about dialogue.

Reply
Louise Harnby
24/8/2020 05:39:02 pm

Glad you found it useful, Mary!

Reply
Bob link
1/9/2020 05:04:25 pm

I love your 'rules have value, but readers come first.' approach.

Reply
Louise Harnby
1/9/2020 07:18:33 pm

It's the only way to go!

Reply
Pete Springer link
4/9/2020 03:20:43 am

A very helpful post. I'm kind of a math nerd, so I wonder what the statistics are on the breakdown on the positioning of tags?

Reply
Louise Harnby
4/9/2020 08:54:25 am

No idea, Pete, though I suspect middle and end lead the way.

Reply
white soap dispenser link
29/3/2021 01:55:43 pm

white soap dispenser

Reply



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