Addressing others in dialogue: Using vocatives

A vocative expression is one in which a person is directly referred to in dialogue. It needn’t be someone’s name; it could be a form of address that relates to their job or position, or a term of endearment, respect or disrespect. Here’s how to work with them.

Purpose of vocative expressions
Vocatives serve several purposes in fiction writing:
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1. They help readers keep track of who’s saying what to whom. This is especially useful when a character is talking to two or more people.

     ‘Dan, can you take the father into Interview Room 2? I don’t want him having to face the mother – not yet, anyway.’ Charlie flicked through the file and scanned down the penultimate page. ‘Deputy Douglas, I know you’re new to the team but I’d like you to handle the mom.’

2. They can enrich characters’ emotions by conveying a deeper sense of urgency, frustration, surprise or patience.

     “For God’s sake, Amir! Get a move on.”

​     ‘Inspector Witherspoon,’ Hightower began slowly, as though talking to a thick-skulled child, ‘if you’ll trouble yourself to lift Dr Slocum’s head, you’ll see why I considered his death suspicious.’ (The Inspector and Mrs Jeffries, p. 3)

3. Readers can learn quickly about how characters relate to each other. Does one rank higher or defer to the other? Perhaps they’re friends, lovers, or loathe each other.

     ‘And who could tell after the blast if the explosion wasn’t atomic?’ he asked.
​     ‘No, my Lady. They’ll not risk anything that illegal. Radiation lingers. The evidence is hard to erase.’ (Dune, p. 181)

     ‘Is that what you thought, honey? I’m so sorry – I never meant for you to find out.’

     “Hey, Captain Letch. Try thinking with your head instead of your dick. Maybe you’ll find out whodunit before someone else gets killed.”

Overuse that distracts
Overusing people’s names and titles can be grating. Vocatives aren’t the only way of signalling who’s being talked to – you could use action beats (See: What are action beats and how can you use them in fiction writing?). And if there are only two people in a scene it will be unnecessary to continually use direct forms of address.

Think about the natural speech you hear in your everyday life. Most of the time, people don’t use vocative expressions excessively. Follow their lead in your novel.

Compare the following examples:

The Big Sleep, p. 140:
     ‘Nice work, Marlowe. Are you my bodyguard now?’ Her voice had a harsh note.
     ‘Looks that way. Here’s the bag.’
     She took it. I said: ‘Have you a car with you?’
     She laughed. ‘I came with a man. What are you doing here?’

Butchered version:
     ‘Nice work, Marlowe. Are you my bodyguard now?’ Her voice had a harsh note.
     ‘Looks that way, Vivian. Here’s the bag.’
     She took it. I said: ‘Have you a car with you, Vivian?’
     ​She laughed. ‘I came with a man. What are you doing here, Marlowe?’

The original version is much cleaner. The vocative in the first line helps to convey Vivian’s sarcasm. After that, Chandler lets us do the work and the conversation sounds natural.
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How to punctuate vocatives
Commas are required for clarity.

• If the vocative expression comes at the beginning of the sentence, place a comma after it.
• If the vocative expression comes at the end of the sentence, place a comma before it.
• If the vocative expression interrupts a sentence, place a comma before and after it.
• A vocative at the beginning of a sentence can also stand alone, in which case it will be followed by a full stop (period) or exclamation mark.

         There was a high-pitched scream and, almost simultaneously, a cry from the lounge. Jonesy jumped off her lap and padded under the bed, reappearing a moment later with a dead mouse in his jaws.
     ​‘Jonesy! Where did you get that?’ (29 Seconds, p. 157)

     ‘Jake, is that your new car over there?’ Mal said.
     
     ‘You don’t have a clue who I am, do you, you bumbling fool?’ Lord Pompous asked.

     ‘Did you know, Beelzebub, that your wings are scorched?’ Lucifer said, poking the fiery brimstone.

Punctuating vocative expressions incorrectly can lead to ambiguity. Compare the following examples of dialogue. Notice how the missing comma changes the meaning from expressions of address to instructions to carry out acts of violence.

With vocative comma	Without comma
“Let’s eat, children,” said a salivating Wendy.	“Let’s eat children,” said a salivating Wendy.
‘Shoot, Sergeant Ash!’ ordered the captain.	‘Shoot Sergeant Ash!’ ordered the captain.

Lower-case or upper-case initials?
Should you use lower-case or upper-case initials when addressing a person in written dialogue? It depends.

People’s names
Names are proper nouns and therefore always take initial capital letters in the vocative case.

     “What the hell are you doing with that novel, Louise? You’ve changed how all the vocative expressions are punctuated,” said Johnny.

     ‘You, Ringo, are a cad and a bounder. However, I’m prepared to forgive you because of your excellent taste in music,’ said George, thumbing through five different editions of The White Album.

Terms of respect, endearment and abuse
Vocative terms of respect and endearment take lower case when used generally. Examples include: madam, sir, m’lady, miss, milord, mister; buddy, sweetie, darling, love, dear; and dopehead, fuckwit and plenty more I’d love to write here but won’t!

          To get a lawyer would mean calling on my family for finances. The only officer I would have really liked—a barrister who had been sailing with us several times—was obvious. “As far as I’m concerned, sir,” I said, “I’d be glad if you’d act for me.” (Maddon’s Rock, p. 75)

     ‘Honestly, darling. I’d never do anything to hurt you. He means nothing to me. Nothing.’

     Marie yawned and flicked a crumb off the table. “Don’t push it, love. I have neither the time nor the patience.”

     ‘Hey, numbskull! Try searching on Google before you email a busy colleague with your query.’

     The sounds of the steps grew louder, and the whistling went on cheerfully. In a moment the jerkin showed. I stepped out between the two cars and said: ‘Got a match, buddy?’ (The Big Sleep, p. 96)

     ‘Maybe in the service,’ Reacher said. ‘Not necessarily in some half-assed private company.’
     ‘I don’t see a difference.’
     ‘Well, you ought to, soldier.’
     ​‘Watch your mouth, pal. I’m helping you out here.’ (The Hard Way, p. 141)

When terms of respect are used in conjunction with names, they become proper nouns and take upper case. Endearments and insults usually remain in lower case because they’re used adjectivally.

     “For shame! For shame!” cried the lady’s maid. “What shocking conduct, Miss Eyre, to strike a young gentleman, your benefactress’s son. Your young master.” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 2)

     ‘Surely you realized, Master Doolittle, that your father could talk to the animals,’ said Eliza as she slid off the pushmi-pullyu.

     ​‘You, dear Jack, are the light of my life,’ said Bobby. ‘Well, nearly – sweet baby James glows a little brighter.’

Titles of rank and nobility
Titles of rank and nobility take initial capitals when used vocatively. Examples include: Your Majesty, Commander, Constable, Agent, Lord, and Detective Inspector.

     ‘I’d like you to handle this personally, Superintendent. It’s going to require quite a delicate hand.’ ​She kept her expression steady. This was an assignment for a detective inspector at most. (The Punishment She Deserves)

     “What, Agent Copperbonce, do you think you are doing with that pineapple?”

Compare these with narrative text and dialogue that include indirect address forms. If the relational titles are used as names (proper nouns), we retain upper case. If we’re using common nouns with determiners (a modifying word that references a noun such as ‘a’, ‘the’, ‘each’, ‘her’ and ‘my’) we use lower case.

     The commander knocked on the door and marched in without waiting for an invitation.

     Fifteen minutes later, the chief called the squad into the incident room.

     ‘I’ve asked Inspector Harnby to take a look at the case. Hope that’s okay with you.’

     ‘That other constable is a waste of space, don’t you agree, Constable MacMillan?’

Titles indicating a relationship
When used as a form of direct address, relational titles take upper case. Examples include: Mother, Uncle, Dad, Auntie, Grandma and Papa.

     ‘I’m begging you, Dad, don’t make me watch that Jimi Hendrix docudrama again. Thirty-five times is enough.’ I smashed the guitar over the back of the sofa and stuck my nose in the air. ‘See? It’s never going to happen.’

     “Oh, don't refer him to me, Mama! I have just one word to say of the whole tribe – they are a nuisance.” (Jane Eyre, Chapter 17)

Again, compare these with narrative text and dialogue that include indirect address forms. If the relational titles are used as names (proper nouns), we retain upper case. If we’re using common nouns with determiners, we use lower case.

     I thought back to the earlier conversation. Hadn’t his dad said we could catch the 8.15 from Waterloo if we put our skates on?

     ‘Can you ask your uncle if we can stay at his place this weekend?’

     ‘Every grandmother receives a free cup of tea and a slice of cake. Do you think Gran would like to come?’

     The guy’s mom was an absolute monster, or so he’d heard. That was just one side of the story, though. Best to check before bowling in and arresting anyone.

Summing up
Use vocatives as follows:

• to convey who’s being spoken to
• to enrich mood and emotion
• to indicate what the mood or relationship is between the speakers

Use appropriate punctuation to set off forms of address in order to avoid ambiguity. And be judicious – overuse will distract and irritate readers.

And, thank you, dear reader, for getting to the end of this article! (See what I did there?)

Cited sources

• 29 Seconds. T.M. Logan. Zaffre Publishing, 2018
• Dune. Frank Herbert. New English Library, 1984
• Jane Eyre. Charlotte Brontë. Scholastic, 2014. Kindle edition
• Maddon’s Rock. Hammond Innes. Fontana Books, 1947
• The Big Sleep. Raymond Chandler. Penguin, 1948
• The Hard Way. Lee Child. Bantam Books, 2006
• The Inspector and Mrs Jeffries. Emily Brightwell. C&R Crime, 2013
• The Punishment She Deserves. Elizabeth George. Hodder, 2019. Kindle edition 

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with independent authors of commercial fiction, particularly crime, thriller and mystery writers.
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She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Society for Editors and Proofreaders (SfEP), a member of ACES, a Partner Member of The Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi), and an Associate Member of the Crime Writers’ Association (CWA).

​Visit her business website at Louise Harnby | Proofreader & Copyeditor, say hello on Twitter at @LouiseHarnby, or connect via Facebook and LinkedIn.