How to hook readers: The first 5 pages of a thriller

Learn what every thriller must accomplish in its first five pages, including compelling opening lines, early pressure points, clear viewpoint characters and narrative momentum. Discover how to hook readers, build tension and set the stage for a gripping, page-turning story from the very first sentence.

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In this article

• Why the first five pages are a pitch to the reader
• Compelling opening lines
• Pressure points
• Clear viewpoint characters
• Early momentum

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Why the first 5 pages are a pitch to the reader

Thrillers live or die by their opening pages. We can think of them as a hook or a pitch – the thing that convinces readers to invest in the rest of the novel. This is the space that sets the tone, whets the appetite and sells the idea of what’s to come.

Readers pick up a thriller expecting immediate tension, momentum and intrigue. An editor will be looking for those same qualities too.
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Here’s what you should look out for when reviewing your first five pages.

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1. Is the opening line compelling?

The very first line in a novel sets expectations for the entire story. When it comes to thrillers, readers love hearing a distinctive voice, a sense of movement or tension, and a hint of the predicament or situation a character’s dealing with.

Weak opening lines
These often begin with neutral description or background information. For example:

• The sun rose over the quiet town of Ashford as people began their day.
• The office was quiet, and everyone was busy at their desks.
• "I can’t believe it’s Monday already,” Malik said, sipping his coffee and looking out the window at the parking lot. “Do you think the boss will schedule that meeting again today?’

These opening lines struggle because nothing specific or interesting is happening. The information is generic. There are no stakes and no reason for the reader to be curious.

Strong opening lines
Strong opening lines feature a character in motion or a problem.

Harlan Coben is brilliant at writing knock-out opening lines. Take a look at these examples and compare them with the yawn fest above:

• Here is how you destroy a life. (Think Twice, Penguin, 2024)
• You never meant to kill him. (The Innocent, Orion, 2009)
• I sat in the back pew and watched the only woman I would ever love marry another man. (Six Years, Orion 2013)
• I am serving the fifth year of a life sentence for murdering my own child. (I Will Find You, Penguin, 2023)
• They buried Joe three days after his murder. (Fool Me Once, Penguin, 2023)
• I don’t hear the scream. (Gone Before Goodbye, with Reese Witherspoon, Penguin, 2026)

Notice how he zooms right in on a problem – rejection, harm, murder.

It’s not just that Coben gets to the point. It’s that he injects so much emotion into each of those sentences. He does this by making sure that the psychic distance between the reader and the narrator feels close, like the character is talking to us intimately …

There’s oodles of suspense too. Absolutely no way are we putting down any of those books after we’ve read their opening lines because, in just a few words, the author has made us a promise – that having set the scene he will answer the questions we’re already asking:

• whose life was destroyed in Think Twice
• why the person ended up dead in The Innocent
• whether the character will end up getting his girl back in Six Years
• how the child ended up dead in I Will Find You
• who murdered Joe in Fool Me Once
• who’s screaming and why in Gone Before Goodbye.

Tip for writers and editors
If the opening line doesn’t pique the reader’s curiosity, or create tension or intrigue, consider a recast.

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2. Have you introduced a pressure point?

A thriller's first five pages don’t need to be infused with violence or high-octane action, but they should show the reader where the pressure is.

Weak pressure
Review your first few pages and make sure they’re not dominated by the routine and mundane. Waking up, commuting and casual conversations risk making your reader skim.

​Readers of the genre expect to be thrilled, and if you don’t satisfy that appetite early on, they may disengage and start wondering when the story’s going to pick up.

Strong pressure
Here’s how authors might could inject pressure points into the early pages of their stories:

• a looming threat
• a dangerous situation
• a mystery that demands an answer
• a character facing a difficult decision.
• a crime or suspicious event
• a secret or conspiracy
• a race against time.

Tip for writers and editors
Scan the first pages for early conflict or unusual events. Ask yourself this: Is there an indication that something’s already wrong or off? If not, and exposition or a calm setup are dominating, consider how curiosity, danger or high stakes could be introduced.

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3. Is a clear point-of-view character present?

When readers can step into a character’s perspective early on, they become engaged faster and more deeply invested in the story.

It doesn’t have to be the protagonist. It could be an anonymous antagonist or transgressor. It could be a victim. The point is that we want to know whose story we’re following in those first few pages.

Weak perspectives
A thriller whose early pages focus on vague, objective information with no emotional resonance can distance readers. We end up not understanding who we’re supposed to be rooting for or who we want to see stopped.

Strong perspectives
Readers are people. They know what it is to be human – to love, to fear, to hate, to despair.

​Compelling opening pages feed that innate knowledge. They provide information that helps us invest in a particular character, even if that emotional investment is negative.
We should get an early sense of the following:

• what the character’s role is in the story
• why they’re interesting
• what the stakes are for them
• why it’s personal or emotional, even if the plot involves big-picture events such as terrorism, conspiracies or assassinations.

​Tip for writers and editors
Consider whether the first five pages tell readers what the viewpoint character stands to lose, why this situation matters to them and what is motivating them to act? If those personal stakes aren’t shown early on, the prose will feel flat and readers might switch off.

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4. Have you created momentum?

Thrillers rely heavily on forward movement throughout, but the opening pages are particularly critical because that’s where writers get their first chance to earn readers’ trust and prove that momentum will be attended to.

Weak momentum
The first five pages are not the place for information dumps that provide:

• expository background detail
• technical explanation
• detailed worldbuilding.

There is definitely a place for all of that stuff, but it’s better to introduce it appropriately after the story has got moving, particularly if it’s detailed. Not doing so means things could end up feeling rather static.

Strong momentum
Early pages that focus tightly on a problem, a mystery, a decision or an unusual situation will hold readers’ attention. We don’t need to be given all the answers or supporting information at this point – there’s a whole novel to do that. And in fact, not having all the background helps build intrigue and drive curiosity.

The opening five pages of TM Logan’s 29 Seconds (Zaffre, 2018) give a superb example of narrative momentum. Readers are offered the following:

• We meet the main character
• A stranger offers her a mysterious one-time deal that could change her life
• She is sexually harassed by a drunk colleague.

Throughout these few pages we’re presented with, first, a mystery, then tension as she tries to manage her shock and fear during the harassment. There are more questions than answers, but Logan makes us wait, concentrating on momentum rather than filling in all the detail.

Tip for writers and editors
Focus on motion rather than explanations in the first five pages. That energy will ensure that readers are prepared to wait for the detail that fills in all the gaps.

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Summing up

The first five pages of a thriller should do four things:

• start with a compelling first line
• establish what the problem is – what’s causing the tension
• introduce a compelling character for the reader to invest in
• create a mystery that drives the story forward.

When those elements are in place, readers will want to turn pages 6, 7 and beyond. 

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About Louise Harnby

Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.

She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.

• Get in touch: Louise Harnby | Crime Fiction & Thriller Editor
• Connect: X @LouiseHarnby, Facebook and LinkedIn
• Learn: Books and courses
• Discover: Resources for authors and editors

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