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This outline of the proofreading, copyediting and line-editing process is one way of organizing your editorial workflow rather than bowling straight into a project.
What follows is my process – the steps I take and the order in which I take them. That doesn’t mean it’s THE process! You might prefer to organize yourself differently.
Editorial business parameters
My business model might look very different to yours. Here’s what you need to know about me when considering the process I outline below.
Proofreading designed page proofs
I no longer work on designed page proofs (PDF or hardcopy), but at the point in my career when I did, I used the checklist below.
Step 1. Project legalities
I carry out the project legalities as soon as the author and I have agreed to work together and decided on the project's time frame.
This part of the process protects me and my client, and ensures we have a mutual understanding of the project’s terms and conditions.
WHAT I DO
Step 2. File checking and organization
This work takes place as soon as the book file arrives. The checks ensure I can find the material, and that it’s usable when it’s time for the edit to begin.
WHAT I DO
Step 3. Template creation
This part of the process helps me get organized. I do it before the edit begins.
Step 4. Technical setup
Next up is some technical setup related to Microsoft Word.
WHAT I DO
Step 5. Styles
Now it’s time to assess the book file’s styling. Even though an interior formatter might work on the design at a later stage, I want to ensure that the different elements are formatted consistently.
Word’s styles palette is the tool of choice. If I decide to make changes, I can amend the style rather than trawling through the entire book file line by line.
If I’m line editing, the author might have done some or all of this work. If I’m proofreading, another editor might have done it.
After I’ve set up the styles, I apply them to the book file. Step 6. Chapter sequence check
Now that my chapter headings are styled, I can locate them in Word’s navigation pane and ensure the numbering is correct.
It’s not uncommon for authors to shift chapters around, and that’s where problems slip in.
WHAT I CHECK
Step 7. Front-matter check
I like to cast my eye over the front matter separately from the main edit.
The most exciting part of the project for me is the edit itself, so doing mundane but critical technical checks separately ensures my eye’s on the ball and I'm not making assumptions.
WHAT I TYPICALLY CHECK
Step 8. Macro run and style-sheet build
Next, I run a selection of pre-edit macros.
Editors use all sorts of different software and tools to complement their eye depending on the issues they need to check, the material they’re working on, and their clients’ needs. The macros I've listed below are not what you must use; they’re just my preferences.
I use what I learn to start filling in the project’s style sheet.
At this stage I’m making early decisions about spelling, hyphenation, capitalization and proper noun usage, and noting any red flags.
RED FLAGS INCLUDE
Even if I locate problematic language, I’ll not make any decisions about what needs to be done until the contextual edit begins and I can review it within the wider story arc. At this point, I'll just highlight.
I’ll also record initial observations that are key to the line edit.
INITIAL OBSERVATIONS
Step 9. The edit
Now it’s time to begin editing. This is the fun bit, what I've been hired for! It's the non-technical part of the job but the most time-consuming.
I work through the book file line by line and edit according to the agreed scope of the project.
WHAT I DO
Step 10. The part-way PerfectIt check
One third of the way through the line edit, I run PerfectIt again.
That’s because I’ll have made many new style choices that affect, for example, spelling, capitalization and hyphenation, ones that I didn’t pick up during my pre-edit macro run.
BENEFITS
Step 11. The technical tidy-up
When the edit is complete, I carry out another round of checks for layout, consistency, spelling and grammar – a final technical tidy-up to that ensures everything’s spit spot. A little Mary Poppins never hurt anyone!
WHAT I DO
Step 12. Style sheet check
Next, I review the style sheet to ensure that it’s fit for purpose.
Step 13. Create the editorial report
Now I create my editorial report. I use a detailed template that’s already populated with client-friendly summaries of the theory behind the edits (accessible via my course How to Write the Perfect Fiction Editorial Report).
WHAT THE REPORT INCLUDES
Step 14. Delivery and invoicing
Finally, I prepare the files for my client. It's time to show them what I've done and why I've done it!
WHAT I INCLUDE
After I’ve emailed the files, I issue an invoice for the outstanding fee. Some editors choose to send the files only after all monies have been paid. How you do it is for you to decide.
Wrapping up
So that's my way. I hope it'll help you streamline your process if you're unsure where to start.
Just bear this in mind: There's no one best way. We all work differently, and there are multiple ways to edit efficiently and productively. About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
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Your editing website is your shop front. It’s the one online space you control – your land – and so it must work hard for you. Here are 3 things you can do quickly to make it function better.
Three quick improvements you can make
In this post, I’ll show you three things you can do quickly to improve the way a visitor experiences every web page on your site. We’ll look at the following:
Add navigation buttons
Being able to navigate a site is key to a good user experience. Buttons signal the delivery of a promise: learn this, go there, download that.
Imagine you’re in a huge, multi-storey department store. Buttons are like the floor plan near the escalator that tells you what’s where. Make buttons consistent Check that your buttons are a consistent colour. That way you’re training visitors to understand that there’s something at the end of the click. A contrasting hover colour signals that the button is active, that it can be engaged with. Help people find stuff! Don’t assume your visitors know where to go, or that they’ll go where you want them to go. Check every page on your website. Can you add buttons that will make your visitor’s journey easier and that tell them what you'd like them to do? People are busy and might not have time to trawl through text. Buttons stand out, which means they’re scannable. Use them to help the visitor:
Include a meaningful call to action A button that’s easy to spot is half the job done. The other half is about meaningful messaging. GO HERE, EMAIL ME, CLICK HERE, GET IN TOUCH aren’t always the best signals for a roving eye, particularly on longer pages with multiple purposes. Experiment with calls to action that chime with the delivery of a promise I mentioned above. For example: TAKE ME TO THE LIBRARY, TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR SERVICES. Focus on paragraph headings
Let’s return to our department store. We’ve found the right floor. Now we need to locate the items. H2 headings are the signs hanging above each aisle that say: This is what you’ll find here.
H2 headings are superb visual indicators because they’re scannable. Check every page on your website. If there are paragraphs that introduce new information but there’s no summary, add an H2 heading. Make your headings relevant Busy visitors who are scanning a web page for clues to how it can help them need indications that they’re in the right place. Headings should be relevant to the text they’re sitting on top of. They should tell the reader exactly why it’s worth investing time in reading the paragraph. Don’t assume your busy visitor has a sense of humour! A witty paragraph heading that doesn’t stand alone and explain what’s in the text below it is of no use. Boring trumps funny every day of the week! Offer solutions or ask questions To solve the boring problem, create headings that signal specific solutions or ask questions that are likely to match a visitor’s query. Compare the heading The time frame with How long will editing take? The former requires the visitor to ask themselves: What time frame? The latter pre-empts the question. Solutions and questions will bring the scanning to a halt. That’s where engagement begins. Now you’ve got their attention. Create short paragraphs
Back to the department store. If the buttons are like the floor plan, and the headings are the aisle signs, then short paragraphs on our web pages are like neatly arranged shelves.
Visitors are more likely to engage with what’s on those shelves when there’s space between each item. The alternative is rummaging. Busy people want to get their information fast. Short paragraphs help them do that. They’re also far more visually appealing. Are people accessing your website via mobile? If walls of text are off-putting on a desktop, they’re impenetrable on a phone. Do you know how many of your website’s visitors are accessing your site via mobile devices? Google Analytics is free and will give you this information. I can tell you that a third of my visitors use a tablet or phone. A third! I can also tell you that my mobile engagement has doubled in percentage terms since 2013. Offering a good user experience therefore means attending to mobile users' needs. With that in mind, do all of your visitors a favour and break up text into visually digestible blocks of no more than 3–4 lines on each of your web pages. It’s one of the fastest and easiest design improvements to implement! Summing up
Review the buttons, headings and paragraph length on every page of your website.
Each fix can be implemented in under 24 hours, and none require technical know-how. More important is the impact on your visitors. The better their experience, the more they’re likely to stick around. That means you’re serving them and your business! More resources
By the time you're done, you'll know how to build an effective web presence!
And take a look at these freebies: About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
If engagement with your editing or proofreading blog is stagnant, spruce up your posts with these 4 fixes.
What’s covered in this post
Here's what this post covers:
1. You’re not solving problems
Blog posts that offer solutions to problems are about the reader. Blog posts about your journey, your opinions, your experiences are about you.
It’s your blog and you can put on it whatever you want. Just bear in mind that problem-solving content will always do better in the long-term. Here’s what I’ve typed into Google in the past two hours:
Those are all problem-based queries. I was searching for solutions. Do I read opinion and experience pieces? Sure, now and then if they’re written by people I know, trust, like and am interested in. But mostly I search for solutions to problems. THE FIX If you’re blog engagement is stagnant, take a look at the content and think about whether you can shift the focus away from yourself and onto your reader. 2. You’re not solving the right problems
Perhaps you are solving problems but they’re not the ones your target audience is interested in.
For instance, you might have some articles that help new editors decide which training course to take, or which online networking groups to join, or which conferences to attend. Those are great if you have training, coaching and business development products and services in your business portfolio because they help target readers get to know you and trust you. There’s even a little SEO juice in the editorial key words and phrases you’re using. However, if ultimately you want to be found by, earn the trust of, and sell editing services to a a writing client, it’s their problems you need to solve. THE FIX Consider who you want to sell to. It is editing and proofreading services to clients? If so, make a list of the 20 problems you come across most often when you’re working on editorial projects. The analysis of and solutions to those 20 problems are the basis for 20 blogs posts. If the issues are complex, break your 20 posts into 40 or 60 smaller chunks. Niche topics are accessible to your readers, but also offer you a more manageable writing schedule. Plus, while niche problems are less likely to be searched for, when they are searched for they’re more likely to be found because there's less competitive content. 3. You’re solving the right problems but not signalling why your post is relevant
If you’re solving niche problems for your ideal reader, but your posts aren’t ranking, take a look at your signalling.
Google has no sense of humour – funny titles and headings without key words and phrases that tell the search engines how your post is relevant to a typed query will be invisible. As for busy people, they're not so different to the search engines in that they scan for relevance too – either in the search-engine results to their query or on your actual post if they’ve clicked through. A boring title that tells the reader exactly how you’ll help them will trump a funny but mysterious one every day of the week. THE FIX Check your H1 titles and H2 paragraph headings. Do they contain relevant key words and phrases? These enable the search engines to identify relevance. Give people scannable H1 and H2 headings that tell them what’s on offer in the paragraphs that follow. If you can combine being witty with being informative, fair play to you. If you have to choose, go for informative! 4. You’re solving the right problems but not sharing your solutions
Readers love solutions. But to love them they have to know they exist.
Well-crafted blogs that solve niche problems for your target audience and are findable in the search engines require that we invest time in our blog, that we commit to it, particularly while we’re building our bank of content. It can take a while to build a bank with enough niche solutions to attract those perfect clients, and a while longer to build enough trust so that they’re not just reading your stuff but hiring your services. And until your blog posts are visible, they’re not working for you. THE FIX There’s no reason why we have to sit back and wait for visitors to find us. Share your blog content, and share it regularly. If you have 20 blog posts already, and the solutions you’ve offered in them are still relevant, they’re ‘evergreen’. Don’t assume that just because you’ve publicized them once on Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn, you can’t publicize them again. Maybe person X didn’t read your post when you first published it. Maybe they did but forgot about it and would enjoy a refresher. Perhaps they won’t read it again but remember thinking it was useful, so they retweet it or share it. Person Y sees it for the first time and – ta-da! – you have a new reader. Why you might decide to stop writing blog posts
If you don’t want to blog, don’t blog! It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and it’s certainly not the only way of getting attention. But frame your decision logically.
Perhaps you don’t want to make time for it, or you don’t enjoy it, or you’d prefer to explore different marketing approaches. All of those are informed and acceptable reasons not to start blogging, or to park your blog. But don’t make the decision on the grounds that it makes no difference to how people are engaging with your website. Millions of bloggers from within the editorial community and far beyond know different! If publishing new blog posts doesn’t increase traffic to and engagement with your editing website, that’s not a signal that your blog posts make no difference. It’s a signal that your posts are either invisible or uninteresting. Both are fixable. Wrapping up
An editing or proofreading blog can be a powerful tool that drives people to our websites, shows them what we’re interested in and what we know about, and helps them trust us. Those who trust us are more likely to buy from us.
Effective blog posts – ones that generate long-term traffic and engagement – solve problems, have relevant and scannable titles and headings, and are visible beyond the search engines because we’ve shared them with our audiences. If your blogging isn’t working, fix the process before blaming the methodology! More resources
You’re writing in third-person and your viewpoint character has become unconscious. However, you want the reader to understand how their discovery and recovery come about, and without head-hopping. Here are 5 ideas for how to tackle it.
In this article ...
Start at the top if you’re new to viewpoint, or jump straight to the solutions if you’ve already nailed it but are wondering what to do about your oblivious point-of-view character. Protagonists versus viewpoint characters
The protagonist is the person whose experiences drive the story. The novel revolves around them. Readers are usually more connected to them and their outcome within the story than any other character.
The POV character is the person whose internal experiences drive a scene or chapter.
While your protagonist might often be the POV character, one role doesn’t always equal the other. A POV character can also be an antagonist, a major character, or a bystander who makes but one appearance. Your protagonist, however, is always your protagonist, whether they’re in a scene, doing something else somewhere else, or lying in a coma on the beach. Why an unconscious character can’t be a POV character
Perhaps your POV character has had an accident, become ill, been knocked out, or drugged. Perhaps they’ve drunk or drugged themselves into unconsciousness.
As long as they’re unconscious, they don’t know what’s happening. Which means the reader doesn’t either. Their oblivion is ours. And at that point they’re no longer a viewpoint character. They can’t be; they’re busy being unconscious. However, just because they’re out for the count doesn’t mean the story is. Action is still taking place in the form of physical movement, dialogue, and the passing of time. If authors need to tell the reader what happens to the unconscious character during their period of absence, it needs to be done in a way that makes sense. If a character regains awareness, becomes the POV character and reports what happened to them during time out, they need a way to access that information. Otherwise, someone else will report that information, and a new POV character comes into play. Head-hopping, narration style and number of POV characters
What is head-hopping?
When readers are forced to jump from one character’s thoughts and experiences to another’s in a single scene, head-hopping is in play. Head-hopping is convenient because it lets readers know what everyone in a scene is thinking and feeling all at once. That convenience is usually a problem in commercial fiction because it rips out the suspense. Rather than readers getting in the heads of everyone, they engage with and invest in no one because they are never in one place long enough to do so. What is third-person limited POV? Third-person limits readers to a single character’s experience – what they see, hear, feel and think. Readers get to sit in their skin; it’s as if we’re them. In that sense, it’s not unlike first-person narration, another in-skin POV. The difference is the pronouns – he/she/they/it for third person; I/we for first person. The difference lies in the narrative distance – how close the reader feels to the character. With third person, the distance is wider because those pronouns are a constant reminder that the character is someone else. With first person, the ‘I’ personalizes the experience more deeply because we’re reading the same language we’d use if we were talking about ourselves. Third person is a narration style that most writers find easy to master at the beginning of their journey, and is popular with writers and readers of commercial fiction. How many viewpoint characters can a novel have? A novel can have multiple viewpoint characters sharing their experiences through various narration styles such as first person (I) and third-person limited (she, he, they). However, it’s conventional in commercial fiction for each POV character to tell their story in distinct chapters or sections. Lumping multiple viewpoints into a single scene is often an indication of head-hopping. The setup – a fictive piece of fiction!
Let’s set up a scene. Our current viewpoint character is Alicia, a private investigator. She’s also the protagonist.
Alicia’s received a tip-off from an old contact that her targets are using a derelict office building on the edge of an industrial estate for nefarious purposes. Early in the evening, she decides to snoop around. She scopes the place out and enters once she’s confident the coast is clear. Part way through her search, she feels a blow to the back of her head. Next thing she knows, the floor’s coming towards her face. That’s where the chapter ends. Because I’m the writer, I know the following:
How much of this information I can convey without dropping viewpoint will depend on how many POV characters I have in the novel, which narration styles I feel confident using, and when I decide to reveal this information so that I maximize reader engagement. Solution 1: Create a new section or chapter with a new POV character
Creating a new section or chapter with a new viewpoint character is perhaps the easiest option if the novel has been structured such that it regularly switches between several characters’ experiences, each narrated in a first or third-person-limited style.
Example
Let’s say it’s the first time Patty has entered the story but I plan to show the world through her eyes in future chapters and will deepen the reader’s engagement with her character in the process. And so, for now, we can switch from Alicia’s POV after she’s hit the floor and give Patty a section or chapter that introduces her to the reader and shows us the world through her eyes. Here’s how that scene might play out.
So now the reader knows what happened to Alicia but in a way that gives another viewpoint character the floor and opens the door to the reader’s journey with her.
There are questions too, because now we want to know more about Patty.
A word of caution
Those questions will need to be answered eventually. If they’re not – if out of the blue, we’ve been granted intimacy with Patty for the purpose of explaining what happened to Alicia only never to revisit her – the reader will be left feeling that there’s unfinished business, and that they’ve been party to a literary tool of convenience. That’s a contrivance and a manipulation, and will damage your story. Solution 2: Create a new section or chapter and switch narration style
To avoid the convenience problem, you could adapt Solution 1 by pulling back and opting for an alternative narration style.
A third-person-objective narration could work. Here, the prose is flatter, more told. The reader focuses on what can be seen and heard, rather than being immersed in emotional context. This style widens the narrative distance but allows you to tell the facts. And that might well suit the mood of your book now and then.
Example
We learned a lot about Patty in Solution 1. But what if I decide that Patty is a character I don’t want to develop? In that case, the reader doesn’t need to know anything about her. It might be discovered later that the perpetrator was called Patty, and that she’d got in with a bad crowd, or was a frozen-beef-joint-wielding walloper for hire, but that’s not the story. Patty will not make the grade as a POV character in the novel. And so instead, I could place this new section or chapter after Alicia’s scoped out the building and started snooping, but remove her experiencing the blow to the head.
It’s exposition without emotion, and told objectively. Now the reader knows what happened to Alicia, but it’s been narrated in a way that’s cold, clinical and anonymous. And that might very well serve your novel better than an emotional, limited narration that needs developing.
Solution 3: Unveil through dialogue
If your novel has only one viewpoint character, this solution will allow you to unveil what happened, and when, through a conversation.
Your POV character needs to have recovered sufficiently and be able to access the people who have that information and engage in dialogue with them or eavesdrop on a conversation they’re having. They could be the police or security services, medical staff, an antagonist, the saviour – anyone who knows and can fill in the blanks. It means the unveiling comes after the period of unconsciousness, which makes it an emotionally rich experience for the reader because we’re discovering what happened to the POV character at the same time as they are. We get to live their life with them in the moment.
Example
Let’s imagine Alicia has recently regained consciousness again. She’s the POV character; we experience the world through her lens. I want her to report her discovery of some of what happened to her and where she is. She’s ignorant of all the facts. Here’s how that might appear on the page.
Now she knows what the police officer knows, and the reader knows too. And unveiling it like this avoids a mundane in-the-now narrative about a group of kids whom we’ll never meet again.
Solution 4: Unveil through data
Similar to Solution 3, the unveiling of what happened and when during the character’s unconsciousness is revealed later, but this time through files, documents, records, a diary, reports, messages or some other physical repository.
Again, they’ll need to be sufficiently recovered and have a mechanism for accessing this data. As with the previous solution, the reader is drawn deeper into the POV character’s experience because we’re with them every step of the way on that journey of discovery.
Example
In this scenario, I want to reveal who knocked Alicia out and how – not just to the reader (as with Solutions 1 and 2) but to Alicia herself. Perhaps this happens much later in the book, once she’s much further on in her investigation.
This solution allows us to access Patty’s voice – she speaks through the pages of her diary – but it’s our protagonist whose eyes we read through and whose head we’re in.
Solution 5: Use emotional reflection
A fifth option is to use emotional reflection. This contemplation approach might be more suitable if your character has time to reflect.
Perhaps they’re still in hospital or bed-bound or imprisoned and are thinking about what they’ve learned. You might find it’s a good solution if you want to slow the pace and give the story some breathing room – space for a little recent backstory. Summing up
Just because your POV character is out of it doesn’t mean the story of what happened during that time can’t be unveiled while holding point of view.
Experiment with narration style and different time frames for the unveiling, and separate characters’ experiences by giving their scenes distinct sections or chapters. And don't forget that your protagonist is always your protagonist, even if they're not the viewpoint character because they're unconscious. Related reading
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Every novel has a viewpoint character and a protagonist. However, they’re not necessarily the same person, at least not all of the time. Here’s a quick guide that explains the differences.
Major characters aren’t always protagonists
Stories usually have multiple characters, and often have more than one major character. However, just because a character has a major role does not make them a protagonist.
Stories can be narrated by different characters in a book. Whoever’s head the reader is in is called the viewpoint character. However, just because a character is narrating a story does not make them a protagonist or a major character. Protagonists
We can think of protagonists as having a MACRO role.
The protagonist is the person whose experiences drive the story. The novel revolves around them. Readers are usually more connected to them than any other character.
Viewpoint characters
We can think of viewpoint characters as having a MICRO role.
The POV character is the person whose internal experiences drive a scene or chapter.
Is the protagonist always the viewpoint character?
No, the viewpoint character and the protagonist can be different characters. While your protagonist might often be the POV character, one doesn’t always equal the other.
A POV character can be the protagonist, the antagonist, a major secondary character, a minor character, or a bystander who makes but one appearance. As long as it’s their head we’re in, and they who are reporting the scene through their experience of it, they’re the viewpoint character. Your protagonist, however, is always your protagonist, whether they’re in a scene, doing something else somewhere else, or lying unconscious in some back alley. Applying the terminology: An example
I’m using Linwood Barclay’s Parting Shot to illustrate the distinction between viewpoint character, protagonist, main character and secondary character.
Here's a breakdown that shows you how Barclay weaves multiple viewpoint characters into the first 17 chapters of the book.
Chapter 1
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person Notes: We start the book by meeting our protagonist, Cal. The first-person narration style places the reader firmly in his head. We’re in his mind, experiencing his thoughts, emotions and senses with him.
Chapter 2
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited Notes: We meet new viewpoint character, a detective called Barry. His chapters are always narrated in third-person limited. There’s a smattering of free indirect style – third-person narration that has the essence of first person – such that even though the pronoun used is ‘he’, the reader still sees, hears, thinks and feels along with Barry. Multiple chapters are offered from this major character’s viewpoint.
Chapter 3
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person
Chapter 4
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited
Chapter 5
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person
Chapter 6
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited
Chapter 7
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person
Chapter 8
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited
Chapter 9
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person
Chapter 10A
POV character: Monica Gaffney Role: Secondary character Narration style: Third-person objective Notes: The reportage feel of the prose means it’s only just obvious that we’re experiencing the world through Monica’s lens.
Chapter 10B
POV character: Monica Gaffney Role: Secondary character Narration style: Third-person limited Notes: In this section, we’re drawn deeper into Monica’s emotional experience – a third-person-limited narration through which we access her thoughts.
Chapter 10C
POV character: Albert Gaffney Role: Secondary character Narration style: Third-person limited Notes: We shift to a new viewpoint character, that of Albert Gaffney (Monica’s father). The limited narration allows us to access an emotional response (e.g. ‘He steeled himself’).
Chapter 11
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited
Chapter 12
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person
Chapter 13
POV character: Trevor Duckworth Role: Secondary character Narration style: Third-person objective Notes: Now we’re in the head of Barry’s son, Trevor. The third-person narration style is objective for the most part, but firmly rooted in Trevor’s experience.
Chapter 14
POV character: Brian Gaffney Role: Secondary character Narration style: Third-person limited Notes: The POV character is now Brian, Monica’s brother. The author enhances the third-person limited narration with free indirect speech (e.g. ‘It sure was nice to get out of the hospital. Even though his family had come to see him, the visit had stressed him out.’) to narrow the narrative distance between the reader and the character, and root us in Brian’s head.
Chapter 15
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited
Chapter 16
POV character: Cal Weaver Role: Protagonist Narration style: First person
Chapter 17
POV character: Barry Duckworth Role: Major character Narration style: Third-person limited
It goes on until the final chapter wraps up with Cal’s first-person viewpoint. We are in his head as he recalls critical information that enables him to put it all together and verbally reveal whodunnit to his audience.
There are 65 chapters in total, each with distinct viewpoint characters narrating the scene. As each viewpoint character takes a turn, they show us what’s happening through their actions, emotions, thoughts and senses. The characters – major and secondary – play a variety of key roles.
But there is only one protagonist. It is Cal’s job throughout to discover who did what, and why. Even when he’s not in the scene, and therefore not the viewpoint character, he’s driving the direction of the story, the goal of which is to understand how a young girl came to die. Summing up
The key is not to confuse the terms ‘major’, ‘protagonist’ and ‘viewpoint’. Those attributions don’t mean the same thing. To summarize:
A novel can have multiple viewpoint characters, each taking a turn to narrate part of the story. Their viewpoints will enrich the tale but their overall goals don’t underpin it. The viewpoint character could be the protagonist, the antagonist, a major character, or a secondary character. As long as they’re narrating, they’re the viewpoint character. A novel will usually have only one protagonist. They might be the viewpoint character throughout, in which case we only ever see the world through their lens. Or they might be temporarily absent and allow others to tell a part of the tale and share their emotions and experiences. A novel will usually have other major and secondary characters whose experiences are central to the story. They might get a chance to narrate the story and therefore be the viewpoint character, or their experiences might be narrated by someone else. Further reading
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
If you edit or proofread directly in Microsoft Word, PerfectIt is must-have software. This post highlights my favourite features, and explains why I think it's the best consistency-checking software on the planet.
What is PerfectIt?
PerfectIt is a sophisticated consistency-checker and style-enforcer. By customizing its built-in style sheets, creating your own, or uploading some of the free ones others have shared, you can define your preferences and let PerfectIt locate variations and possible errors.
PerfectIt comes in two versions:
In this article, I'll highlight the features I find most useful when editing directly in Microsoft Word for independent authors. Disclaimer: I have a PerfectIt licence and am a long-time user of the software. However, the developer has not asked me to write this review, nor have I been remunerated in any way for doing so. The views expressed herein are mine and based solely on my experience of using PerfectIt on a regular basis. Why I wouldn't be without a PerfectIt licence
Why the software works best when the user takes control
To get the best out of PerfectIt, you must tell it what you want it to do.
That means launching one of the style sheets and taking time to consider the various options (and there are a lot). During my early days of using the software, I found it missed inconsistencies and flagged up false positives. It turned out is wasn't PerfectIt that was functioning inadequately. It was me. I hadn't told it what was relevant to me, so it did the best it could with the information it had. I spent time refining my style sheets to meet my needs, and was rewarded for my effort. If you don't make the time to customize PerfectIt, you'll get good result. If you do, you'll get great results. A summary of PerfectIt's core functions
Here's an overview of what the software can do for you when you're writing and editing in Word.
My favourite features and how they help me
Here's what I love most about PerfectIt. These are the checks I carry out routinely and why I think it's must-have software for the editorial freelancing pro.
1. Wildcard searches
PerfectIt allows you to harness the power of wildcard searches using exactly the same terms you’d use in Word.
I love this feature because it means I can work more efficiently – I don’t have to run a set of find/replace searches in Word and then go and do a bunch of other stuff in PerfectIt. I can consolidate all my wildcard searches in one place, which saves me time. Plus, Word can get a little grumpy with wildcards if we're editing with Track Changes on, which is essential for the kind of work I do. 2. Missing brackets and quotation marks
This is a gem for those work on academic projects with lots of brackets (e.g. author/date citations or quoted matter) and those of us who proofread and edit fiction (e.g. dialogue).
3. Oxford/serial comma
The debate about whether the Oxford comma is useful or unnecessary rumbles on in the world of words.
No matter – editors and proofreaders often find themselves instructed by their client to use it or bin it (except where enforcing the preference would lead to a lack of clarity). PerfectIt allows you to set a preference either way. 4. Italic text
If your client has insisted that a particular word is italicized (or not), you’ll love this function. PerfectIt already has a built-in list of words that can be styled, but you can add your own.
5. Dashes and non-breaking spaces
If you work on documents riddled with hyphens that should be spaced en dashes or closed-up em dashes, or you want to ensure that all those space-separated numbers and measurements aren't going to fall over the cliff at formatting stage, you’ll adore this function.
We can fix this problem with Word’s find/replace tool, but being able to consolidate the search within the PerfectIt platform is another time-saver. The fewer programs we have use to get high-quality consistency within the framework of a client’s brief, the more time we save and the better our hourly rate. 6. Heading format
PerfectIt enables us to harness the power of Word’s styles palette. You can set your preferences for several different heading levels, e.g. sentence case, initial caps on significant words, upper case, or all initial capitals.
7. Custom style sheets
You can build your own style sheets or grab one of the fantastic freebies that have been created and generously shared by other editors. My three current favourites are:
Join the PerfectIt Users Facebook group and click on the Files tab to access the style sheets. How often to run PerfectIt
How often should you run PerfectIt it? It's up to you. I like to run it three times: at the start of a project, in the middle and at the end.
Other benefits
There are three more things I love about PerfectIt's functionality.
That's the thing about PerfectIt and me – we're partners. It does what software's good at so I can do what humans are good at. Fancy trying it? Visit the Intelligent Editing website. If you've bought one of my courses or books direct from this website, log in and grab your special discount code. Related resources
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Give your novel a sentence-level workout. Here are 6 common problems, and the solutions that will improve the flow of your fiction and make the prose pop.
Review your novel for 6 common problems
None of the following activities involve major rewriting, just relatively gentle recasts that will improve your prose significantly, and make your reader's experience more immersive. Here's what I suggest:
1. Assess invasive adverbs
Not all adverbs and adverbial phrases are bad. Suddenly, slightly, slowly, nervously, calmly, quietly can be effective if used now and then.
However, overuse is often a symptom of an author telling us what’s already been shown, which means the adverbs are repetitive and cluttering. In the two examples that follow, they can be ditched because 'fidgeted' shows the nervousness, and the apology in the dialogue shows the regret.
Examples
Even when adverbs are telling us something new, consider elegant recasts that use stronger verbs but still keep readers in the moment.
Examples
2. Remove redundant filter words
When readers are told of doing being done by a viewpoint character, filtering is in play. Realized, knew that, wondered, thought, saw, and decided are just a few examples.
The reader is already experiencing the story through a viewpoint character. For that reason, we often don’t need to be told that they realize, see, think or feel anything. We’re already in their heads. It’s telling what’s already been shown. Examples
Alternatives
Filtering pulls us out of the deep, limited viewpoint. Worse, it’s repetitive and obvious. Jane has already looked at the screen so we know her eyes are doing the work; telling us that she saw as a result of her glancing is redundant. In the example where Matthew’s the narrative viewpoint character, we needn’t be told he feels the thumping in his temples, since if he weren’t feeling it he couldn’t report it. Nor do we need to know he’s thinking about that third glass because we’re already in his head. 3. Take the spotlight off speech tags
'Said' is almost invisible when it comes to dialogue tags. A smattering of 'asked', 'replied', 'whispered', and 'yelled' can also work well.
Sometimes tags aren’t even necessary because it’s obvious who’s speaking. Other times, we can replace a tag with an action beat than conveys movement and emotion. Readers should be focused on the dialogue. If a showy tag is necessary to convey a character’s voice or mood, the speech might need a rethink. In the examples below, the speech tags do the following:
Examples
Alternatives
4. Pick up dropped viewpoint
Narrative viewpoint is a big topic so I’ve focused on two common sentence-level slips:
The viewpoint character reports what they can’t know Reporting what can’t be known often comes with filter phrases such as 'could tell (that)' and 'knew (that)'. In this example, John is the viewpoint character. We experience the story though his senses. Example There, behind the desk, sat Reja, the girl he’d dated two decades earlier. ‘Sergeant John Davis,’ he said, and held out his hand. He could tell she didn’t remember him. Actually he can’t tell any such thing. It might seem that way, but for all John knows, she could be hiding it because she has another agenda. Telling us that’s not the case removes any underlying suspense – stops us asking the question. This might seem like a small slip but it’s the kind of thing that turns over all the power of a limited/deep viewpoint to an all-knowing narrator and rips apart the tight psychic distance between reader and the viewpoint character. Here are two recasts that avoid the viewpoint drop: Alternatives There, behind the desk, sat Reja, the girl he’d dated two decades earlier. ‘Sergeant John Davis,’ he said, and held out his hand. She showed no sign of recognizing him. There, behind the desk, sat Reja, the girl he’d dated two decades earlier. ‘Sergeant John Davis,’ he said, and held out his hand. There was no recognition on her face. Non-viewpoint characters’ internal experiences Here we’re talking about head-hopping. It’s when readers are able to access emotions, mood and thoughts of a non-viewpoint character. In the example that follows, Reja is the viewpoint character. Example Bloody fool. Who did he think he was? Reja jammed her hat down over her ears. No way was she leaving with him. John could have kicked himself. He shouldn’t have come on that strong. Not after what she’d been through. The solution is to recast the text so that these emotions, mood and thoughts can be inferred or accessed externally – for example, through movement or speech – by the viewpoint character only. Here’s a possible recast. Alternative Bloody fool. Who did he think he was? Reja jammed her hat down over her ears. No way was she leaving with him. John palmed his forehead and spluttered an apology. ‘I shouldn’t have asked. Not after … well, you know.’ 5. Trim anatomy-based action
Prose is more immersive when readers aren’t told what they can assume is being done by body parts that are associated with particular actions – holding with hands, gazing with eyes, standing to their feet, kneeling on their knees, nodding heads, and shrugging shoulders.
In the example below, we might remove the obvious body parts and focus more specifically on the part of John's legs doing the kicking and the impact of his action. As for the gun-toter, the hands have been ditched. Example John kicked out with his legs. The woman stumbled, righted herself and came at him again, pistol raised in her hands. Alternative John kicked out, slamming his heel into her kneecap. The woman stumbled, righted herself and came at him again, pistol raised. 6. Turn intention into action
Sometimes the reader needs to know what a character wants to achieve from a particular action. This is about the why of an action.
Example Jane squeezed the detergent into the porridge. Just a couple of squirts to give Alice a taste of her own medicine. However, when an author means to show the how of an action but tells of intention to act, there’s a problem. The red flag to watch out for is 'to'. We can check whether the focus is on point by asking a question: What action do we want to show the reader (via Jane)? If we want to show the reader that Jane can lift her wrist – because that’s what the first example below is showing us – we can leave as is. However, that's rather dull; it's more likely that we want to show that Jane is checking the time, and so a leaner alternative is more effective. Example Jane lifted her wrist to look at her watch. Bang on two. Alternative Jane checked her wristwatch. Bang on two. Summing up
None of these 6 tweaks are rules! Think of them instead as suggestions to consider, ideas that can help you smooth and tighten up your prose.
And don't worry about them at first-draft stage. Use that space to get the words on the page. Put your sentence-level editing craft in play with a later draft, and once your story's structure, plot and characterization have been fully developed. Further reading
Want to develop your line-editing skills? Check out these resources:
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Every author deserves to work with an editor who’s a great fit for their book.
Commissioning editorial help means investing your money and your trust in someone you might never have met. It’s therefore critical that you choose the right editor. Below are 7 reasons why I won’t be a good fit for you. 
1. You’ve written an academic or non-fiction book
Fiction and non-fiction are different. Yes, there are conventions when it comes to spelling choice and grammar, but fiction often requires a nuanced approach that respects not just authorial style but character voice and environment too.
Specialist fiction editors deal with issues that a specialist academic editor won’t. For example:
And academic editors regularly tackle issues that fiction editors don’t. For example:
But there’s something else. Fiction editors need not only to allow non-standard variants in grammar, punctuation and syntax, but embrace them. Why? Because that’s where the magic can happen. I’m a specialist fiction editor. You don’t want me in charge of ensuring the references in your article on cross-generational sexualities, life course and ageing are formatted according to Harvard. Hire an academic editor instead. However, if you struggle with point of view, or worry your chapters lack suspense, I can help.
Need help understanding grammar and punctuation in fiction?
I have a library of resources dedicated to helping fiction writers get to grips with different aspects of sentence mastery. Find out more about the following: 2. I don’t work on your novel’s genre
Some fiction editors work across genres, which is absolutely fine. I choose to specialise in crime fiction, mysteries, thrillers and suspense.
Despite genre tropes – recurring themes that readers enjoy and expect – there’s no formula to writing great fiction, which means there’s no formula when it comes to editing these books either. For example, character voice, story arc, plot, and authorial style are just four reasons why Ian Rankin offers a different reading experience to Harlan Coben, and why both those writers’ novels have a different feel to them from Margaret Atwood’s books. So why am I picky about genre? It’s simple. I have a fixed number of hours every weekday to devote to my job. I want to love every minute of working with an author. And so just as I choose to drink black tea because that’s how I like it, so I choose to specialize in crime, mysteries, thrillers and suspense. If you’ve written literary fiction, romance, young adult, erotica or historical fiction, I recommend you work with an editor who loves to edit those genres. That way, you can be sure they’re invested in your book in the same way I’m invested in everything from the cosy whodunit, to the hardboiled police prodedural, to the high-octane thriller. Of course, many novels are hybrids, for example:
I welcome the opportunity to work on hybrids because they still tick my suspense and thrill boxes!
Need help deciding whether to work with a subject/genre specialist?
For an overview of just some of the subgenres in the crime and thriller field, read: Crime fiction subgenres: Where does your novel fit? And if you need more guidance on working with a specialist, try a few episodes from The Editing Podcast’s Genre and Subject Editing Collection below. 3. You need help with plot and story structure
If you’re committed to getting your novel’s structure right before you do anything else, I commend you.
You clearly understand that there are different levels of editing, all of which serve a different purpose, and that big-picture work around plot and structure comes first. I’m a specialist sentence-level editor, which means I come in after that big-picture work’s complete. Line work focuses on the mood, rhythm and readability of your narrative and dialogue. It ensures your readers are captivated and love every minute they spend on the page with you rather than flicking to the end to find out whodunit. Editors like me focus on the following:
Need more help understanding the different levels of editing?
If you’re unfamiliar with the different levels of editing, watch this video, listen to the audio, and download the accompanying free booklet. 
4. You need the work done next week
Many professional editors get booked up fast and months in advance.
I recommend you start researching who you want to work with before you’ve finished writing so you know what their availability is. That way you won’t be disappointed. I'm usually booked nine to twelve months ahead, so unless a client cancels I won’t be available to help you next week. Bear in mind, too, how much time the novel edit will take. Two factors are length and complexity. These are ballpark figures, but I set aside the following for the types of editing I offer:
Developmental work might take an editor even longer depending on how much help a writer needs. If you’re working with several editors at different stages, you’ll need to build time into the overall schedule to review their work and implement their suggestions.
Want to understand more about how fast editors work?
For an overview of the factors that influence how fast an editor can work on a manuscript, listen to this episode of The Editing Podcast: How long does editing take? 5. You need a cheap editor
Every author has a budget based on what they’re prepared to pay and able to pay. Every editor has a budget based on what they want to earn and need to earn to make a living.
Sometimes there’s a good fit; sometimes there isn’t. Many editors (me included) don’t publish prices on their websites because each project needs to be assessed on its own merits. And so while I can’t tell you what it will cost to have your novel edited without seeing a sample, I can tell you that if it’s 80K words long, it’ll cost you way more than a couple of hundred quid. My line-editing speed is around 1,000 words per hour depending on the complexity of the work. That's why I said above that line editing a novel can take between 2 and 5 weeks. Now stack that up against what any working person needs to earn to feed themselves, pay their rent/mortgage, and meet their taxation and insurance responsibilities every month. The question is this: will someone who's willing to edit 80K words for £250 invest 80 hours on the project? If their average speed is similar to mine, they'll earn £3.13 an hour. That's not sustainable, which means corners have to be cut somewhere along the line. Unless editing is just a hobby and someone else is paying the bills. This isn't a hobby for me and I pay my share of family expenses, so if you're looking for a bargain, I'm not the right editor for you. Instead, try one of the marketplaces that specialize in freelance services at every price point.
Need more guidance on how to save money on editing?
If budget’s an issue, read about money-saving tips and tools in these two blog posts: 6. You want absolute perfection
I’d love to tell you I’m perfect but, alas, I’m only human.
Most professional editors take pride in ensuring that they’re highly qualified. And even when we’ve completed our foundational training, we continue developing our skills throughout our careers. Some of us are members of industry recognized bodies with professional codes of practice. For example, I’m an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading. That means I’m professionally bound to do my very best for you. What it doesn’t mean is that I can make your book 'perfect'. That's because there's no such thing. Stylistic editing is subjective, and when it comes to fiction, there’s always room to bend the standard so-called rules of grammar and punctuation because it’s in the prose’s best interest. A pro fiction editor can work with you to make your narrative and dialogue pop. Will a pedantic Amazon reviewer who knows nothing about literary devices agree with the decision to omit a comma in favour of polysyndentic rhythm? Possibly not. That doesn’t mean your editor made a mistake. It means fiction editors seek to balance sense and sensibility. If you're looking for an editor who's practically perfect in every way, ask Mary Poppins if she's available!
Still not sure about how ‘perfect’ a qualified editor should be?
Most editors include their professional credentials on their website so you can review and verify their professional training, affiliations and teaching materials. Take a look at my Qualifications page as an example. 7. Your best friend read your book so it just needs a quick proofread
If you best friend (or your mum or granny) has read your novel and thinks it’s ready for a final once-over, they might well be right … if your best friend (or your mum or granny) is a pro editor.
Your book will also be ready for a proofreader if it’s been through previous multiple rounds of editing – structural, line- and copyediting. And if you’re very lucky, or very experienced, or very brilliant, you might have nailed everything yourself and be on track for a final round of prepublication quality control. What you still won’t be ready for is a quick proofread. There’s no such thing as a quick proofread. Proofreading is meticulous work that focuses on every word, every sentence, every paragraph. It incorporates layout and consistency checks too. It’s the last stage of editing but not a fast stage of editing. Most editors can proofread faster than they can line- or copyedit, but I don’t know any who can whizz through a whole book in a couple of hours and be confident that they’ve caught most of what needs catching to a professional standard. And so if you’re looking for fast, I recommend you consider the following:
Both types of review will also give you a sense of how the editor works.
Want to know more about proofreading and sample edits?
To find out more about sample edits, and why they’re useful, read this blog post: What's a sample edit? Who does it help? And is it free? To find out more about what proofreading entails, and get your hands on a free checklist for use with print books, check out the following:
Wrapping up
There's a teacup for every saucer according to my podcasting pal Denise Cowle's auntie! She's right.
Sometimes a writer and an editor are a great fit; sometimes we're not. That's not a problem because there are thousands of writers and thousands of editors. Make sure you're working with one who's a great match for you. About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to Rich Leder about writing screenplays and novels. Rich has worked with some of the biggest names in the movie industry. He shares what he's learned about Hollywood, TV and novel craft.
Listen to Episode 65Listen to find out more about
About Rich Leder
Rich has been a working writer for more than three decades. His credits include 19 produced movies—television films for CBS, Lifetime, and Hallmark and feature films for Lionsgate, Paramount Pictures, Tri-Star Pictures, Longridge Productions, and Left Bank Films—and six novels for Laugh Riot Press.
He’s been the lead singer in a Detroit rock band, a restaurateur, a Little League coach, an indie film director, a literacy tutor, a magazine editor, a screenwriting coach, a wedding guru, a PTA board member, a commercial real estate agent, and a visiting artist for the UNCW Film Studies Department, among other things, all of which, it turns out, was grist for the mill. He resides on the North Carolina coast with his awesome wife, Lulu, and is sustained by the visits home of their three fabulous children. Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk about accountability groups, and how they can help editors and other freelance editorial professionals emotionally and practically.
Listen to Episode 63Summary of the episode
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to thriller writer Andy Maslen about the creative-writing process.
Listen to Episode 60Summary of the episode
Here's where you can find out more about Andy Maslen's thrillers. Related resources
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to author David Unger about transforming a novel from print to audio.
Listen to Episode 59Listen to find out more about
Here's where you can find out more about David Unger's books. Related resources
Music Credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
In this episode of The Editing Podcast, Louise Harnby and Denise Cowle talk to mystery writer David Unger about story creation and revision.
Listen to Episode 58Listen to find out more about
Here's where you can find out more about David Unger's books. Related resources
Music credit
'Vivacity’ by Kevin MacLeod
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Is your editing or proofreading business new? Here are two mindset tips that will help you frame every action you take in terms of multiple goals, and stay positive while you’re waiting for the fruits of your labour to ripen.
Linear vs holistic thinking: Beyond the to-do list
I love a list! Recording the stuff I need to do helps me organize my thoughts. It also steers me away from procrastination and towards action.
What follows is therefore by no means a call for the abandonment of the to-do list. New starters and old hands alike can benefit from a list of actionable points. Caution is required though. The to-do list does have the potential to encourage linear thinking, and this can be a hindrance when it comes to the business of editing and proofreading. Linear thinking can lead us down a road of focusing too heavily on one part of our business in the belief that if we get X just right, everything else will fall into place, or that X is more important than Y and therefore must be completed in full before Y is considered. Holistic thinking, however, recognizes that X impacts on Y, which impacts on Z, and that – together – X, Y and Z drive success. Let’s look at what this means for our business practices. A simplified example
Shami is in the process of setting up an editing business. She’s completed a comprehensive training course followed by mentoring. She’s confident in her skills and believes she’s fit for purpose. And she is – from a technical point of view.
However, there’s a potential problem. She’s been so focused on her training that she’s not spent any time considering how she’ll make herself visible to paying clients. Training was at the top of her list – and while this is certainly no bad thing to be at the top of any freelance business owner’s list, focusing on it alone won’t bring in paying work. Shami's business to-do list Shami’s to-do list looks like this:
Shami could do one thing at a time, and tick all those jobs off as she goes. But might she benefit from looking at her editing business in a different way?
An alternative view: The business wheel
What if, instead, Shami visualized her business as a wheel rather than a list?
The list and the wheel address the same issues, but the wheel helps Shami to visualize her business holistically; it shows her the interconnectedness of the various elements.
Let’s consider her training in relation to other aspects of business development.
Training and visibility
Training and the learning centre
Training and client acquisition
Training and membership upgrades
Training and credibility
Training and network-building
Other ways to use the business-wheel mindset
I could go on, but you get the point. Training isn’t something you do before marketing. Rather, it’s connected to marketing. They are but two spokes on a wheel, and they link the hub (the business) to the rim (clients and colleagues).
Training gives substance to the marketing message. Marketing generates visibility and, therefore, new clients. New clients become regular clients because of the standards embedded by training. And up and down the spokes and round the rim we go. We might carry out a similar exercise when considering the links between pricing, an accounting schedule and stationery; or resource creation and business promotion; or brand awareness, accounting and stationery. Taking the long view
Developing a successful editing business doesn’t happen overnight. No matter how good our skills, how creative our marketing, how professional our practice, it takes time.
And, even then, we can’t sit on our heels because our industry, broad as it is, is always changing.
Moving from entitlement to investment
This means that, as business owners, we need to be keeping our ear to the ground so that change is something we embrace, not resent, and something we view as providing opportunity, not marginalization.
When we own our own businesses, we don’t have the luxury of spending time on blaming a lack of success on others who are now doing things in ways that don’t suit us. When we own our own businesses, we’re not entitled to be paid X by a publisher whose profit margins are being squeezed its own customers. Nor are we entitled to work on paper because that’s the way we prefer it. For example, most independent authors want us to work in Word or on PDF. Instead, we have to invest in what makes us interesting and discoverable to those we want to work for and who will pay us what we want/need to earn if our businesses are to be profitable. Whether that means acquiring new skills, learning how to use new tools, changing the way we do our tax returns, targeting new client types, replacing old equipment, or testing and evaluating new and innovative marketing activities that increase customer engagement, the responsibility lies with us, and us alone. Time and hard work are part of the deal
We might not see the fruits of our labour for months. None of us can say how long it will take for an individual’s marketing strategy to put them on pages 1–3 of Google. And that’s okay. It’s normal for it not to happen overnight.
None of us can predict whether a favourite publisher client will merge with another press and freeze its freelance rates. None of us can know whether the skill we learned in 2008 will still be relevant in 2025. When I first started proofreading back in 2006, I was working almost exclusively on paper. At the time of writing in 2020, I edit exclusively in Word. What we can be sure of is that there are no shortcuts – building an editorial business takes time, effort, and not a little courage because there will be times when we’re pushed out of our comfort zone. Taking the short view leads to disappointment, frustration and stagnancy:
Embracing that longer timeframe means we’re less likely to feel deflated when our hard work doesn’t give us immediate results. Instead we could do the following:
Summing up
If you’re the type of person who’s capable of looking at a list without feeling compelled to move through it only from top to bottom, go for it. List away!
However, if you think that your to-do list is leading you into a mode of thinking that ignores the connections between the various aspects of running your business, try redrawing it as a wheel. It may be just the ticket to seeing your editing or proofreading business in a whole new interconnected light – and focusing your energy accordingly. And it's okay to set a realistic time frame for getting your editorial business to where you want it to be. The hard work we put in at the beginning doesn’t necessarily generate immediate results. Taking the long view means we give our efforts space to breathe. About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Audio content has never been more popular. Publishers recognize this; so do independent authors. Here’s a list of tips and tools for freelance editors and proofreaders who’d like to introduce audio content into their business workflow and amplify their editorial voices – literally!
5 advantages of audio
Here are my top 5 reasons why I think audio is a superb tool for the editor or proofreader who wants to use audio as a marketing and business tool.
2 pieces of kit
Contrary to what a lot of people think, you don't need a lot of expensive and difficult-to-use kit. Assuming you already have a computer, here's what you'll need to get hold of.
3 ways to record
Recording audio content needn't cost you a single penny. Here are three resources you can use. You might even have two of them already.
3 ways to host
Here are three hosting options to consider. There's something for everyone – whether you want to keep your costs down while you experiment or you want to go full on in to audio content creation.
6 ways editors can use audio
One of the reasons why I love audio is that it's versatile. If marketing makes you nervous, think of how you might use your voice as a business or educational tool. Below are six things you could try.
5 ways to make audio interesting
Here are five ideas to help you add a cherry on your audio cake! None of them will cost you a bean!
Listen up!
Audio content is now showing up in search engines. Editors and proofreaders who use it to solve problems and engage with clients and colleagues will increase awareness about themselves and the profession they love.
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About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
It's perfectly okay to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’ in crime fiction writing ... in any fiction writing, in fact. Doing so can enrich the narrative and dialogue, and inflect the prose with voice, mood and intention. The key is to make sure those conjunctions are being used purposefully and logically. This post shows you how.
What the style guides say
Here's what two industry-recognized style guides have to say on the matter.
New Hart’s Rules (Oxford University Press):
Chicago Manual of Style Online, 5.203 (Chicago University Press):
6 good reasons to start a sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’
Great! We have the go-ahead from a couple of big hitters to use our two conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence. Now let’s dig a little deeper into why doing so can make fiction more effective. Here are my top six reasons:
Serving natural speech
When we speak in real life, conjunctions are often the first things out of our mouths. So it should be in novels that want to render speech authentically.
Fictional dialogue doesn’t replicate real-life speech completely – that would mean including a lot of boring stuff that one might hear at the bus stop. Rather, it’s a sort of hybrid that has the essence of reality but with the mundanity judiciously removed. It might sound like a cheat but readers thank authors who don’t bore them! Small nudges towards reality help with the authenticity goal, which is where our conjunctions come in handy. Here are a few examples for you:
Shortening narrative distance
Dialogue gives us the character’s speech; narrative gives us the character’s experience. When that’s a first-person narrative, it’s easy to feel close to the narrator. With a third-person narration, the reader can feel separated from the character, as if they’re on the outside looking in.
Authors who want to reduce that space between the reader and the character – called narrative distance or psychic distance – can experiment with a narration style that sounds like natural speech even though it’s not dialogue. Here’s a lovely example from Blake Crouch’s Recursion (p. 182).
Notice how the narration style is third person, though it doesn’t feel like it. Instead, we’re right inside the viewpoint character’s head.
The position of the conjunction in this example isn’t the sole reason why the narrative distance feels short – the free indirect speech above and beneath plays a huge part – but it certainly helps to give us a sense of the character’s mentally working out a problem. Introducing tension and suspense
Take a look at this excerpt from p. 21 of The Matlock Paper by Robert Ludlum.
With that one word – the conjunction – Ludlum stops us in our tracks. Yes, we’re thinking, the town’s neat, it’s clean. All well and good. But then we realize that there’s more to it, for beneath the pruned trees lies a dark underbelly.
The ‘And’, positioned right up front, forces us to pay attention to it. It’s not any old conjunction. Rather, it’s loaded with suspense that drives the reader to ask a question that isn’t explicitly answered: What else is that ‘something’? Adding drama and modifying rhythm
In this excerpt from Parting Shot (p. 433), the author uses the conjunction at the beginning of the sentence to inject drama into a scene.
The new line makes the rhythm of the prose more staccato, but the ‘And’ at the beginning of the final line is what really packs a punch. The viewpoint character, Cory, is a killer. He ponders almost matter-of-factly who the threats are, and reaches his conclusion as he closes in on the cabin.
If Linwood Barclay had omitted the conjunction, he’d have introduced a separation between two ideas: realizing what needs to be done, and when the killer is going to do it. Yet these two ideas are very much connected. The ‘And’ therefore fulfils its purpose as a conjunction – a joining word.
But there’s more. If he’d run the two ideas together with a conjunction between (‘It seemed clear what he had to do, and he'd have to do it fast.’), the line would have lost its wallop. The staccato rhythm (one that mirrors the cold calculation taking place in Cory’s head) is gone. Instead, the prose has flatlined; it seems almost mundane, like a stroll in the park rather than the planning of a murder. However, the ‘And’ reinforces this extra information – the deed must be done fast. The emphasis adds drama to the line. The final line is still connected to the clause it’s related to, but the mood-rich rhythm, and the drama that comes with it, is intact. Emphasizing the unexpected
An up-front ‘But’ is perfect for the author who want to emphasize the unexpected, surprise or absurdity. Take a look at this excerpt from Terry Pratchett’s Dodger (p. 170).
It’s true that omitting the ‘But’ would leave the meaning intact. However, adding the conjunction reinforces the Dodger’s emotional response to the boy’s suggestion – he’s taken by surprise because in times past, asking a peeler was exactly what he’d have done, without question, without fear.
And so that ‘But’ does more than act as a conjunction. With just three letters, we’re shown character mood. Making contrast explicit and suspenseful
David Rosenfelt’s New Tricks (p. 92) includes a smashing example how the conjunction at the beginning of the sentence reinforces a contrast with what’s gone before.
That contrast is explicit because the ‘But’ acts as an interrupter. We’re deep in the POV character’s head regarding the murder victim, ruminating with our protagonist. The conjunction then shoves us out of that rumination. It’s not gentle; the ‘But’ is a big one – something’s up with Laurie.
Not that we know what. Rosenfelt doesn’t tell us yet. Instead, he makes us ask the question: Why? And with that question, just as with the Ludlum example above, we have suspense. Summing up
Feel free to pepper your prose with sentences that begin with ‘And’ and ‘But’. Anyone who tells you you’re on shaky ground grammatically knows less about grammar than you do!
It’s likely that the myth around positioning these conjunctions came about in a bid to nudge people away from stringing together clauses and sentences with no thought to creativity. And while such an intention makes sense, we have to recognize that imposing this zombie rule on writing can actually destroy the magic of prose. And on that note, I will sign off! (See what I did there?) More fiction editing guidance
Cited works
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Want to use grammatical expletives in your crime, mystery and thriller fiction? These words serve as place holders or fillers in a sentence. They shift emphasis and can affect rhythm. Used injudiciously, however, they can be cluttering tension-wreckers. Here's how to strike a balance.  What are expletives?Because expletives shift emphasis, they have a syntactic function. However, they don’t in themselves contribute anything to our understanding of the sentence. In other words, they don't have a semantic role. You might also see them called syntactic expletives. Common examples are:
Take a look at the following pair. The first sentence is introduced by an expletive.
When used well, expletives are enrichment tools that allow an author to play with a narrative voice’s register and the rhythm of sentences. When prose is overloaded with them, it can feel cluttered with filler words that add nothing but ink on the page. At best, they widen the narrative distance between the reader and the POV character; at worst, they flatten a sentence and destroy suspense and tension. Flat expletives that merit fixingToo much telling of what there is or was can rip the immediacy from a scene and encourage skimming. That’s a problem – it means the reader isn’t engaged and risks missing something. Furthermore, if they’re not performing their rhythmic or emphasis role, expletives make sentence navigation more difficult because all they're doing is cluttering the prose. Here's an example. Think I've overworked it? There are published books from mainstream presses with passages just like this made-up one. FLAT EXPLETIVE
The problem with the expletives in the passage above is that readers are bogged down in what there was rather than the viewpoint character's experience of discovery. Let's revise it to fix the problem. THE FIX
Notice how the narrative distance has been reduced in the revised passage. Now it's as if we're in the viewpoint character's head, moving with her second by second. We can focus on the room, the dried-blood fingermarks, the whimper, and the scream rather than the being of those things – their was-ness. Removing the expletives and swapping in stronger verbs (smudged, shattered) enables us to tighten up the prose and introduce immediacy. And now there's no need for the told 'suddenly' – we experience the suddenness through the in-the-moment shattering. Expletives that pack a punchAs is always the case, obliterating expletives from a novel would be inappropriate because sometimes they're the perfect tool to help out with rhythm and emphasis. The opening paragraph of Charles Dickens’s A Tale of Two Cities (p. 1) uses expletives galore, and masterfully at that. The repetition (anaphora) brings a steady rhythm to the passage that ensures the reader gives equal weight to the contrasting extremes – from best and worst to hope and despair. The expletives introduce a detached sense of reportage that forces us forward rather than allowing us to dwell on any of the heavens or hells on offer. It’s simultaneously mundane and monstrous, and that's why it's magical.
And here’s an example from Dog Tags (p. 1) where omission of the expletive would rip the energy from the opening first line of the chapter and interfere with our understanding of which words we’re supposed to emphasize.
Summing upGrammatical expletives are a normal part of language and have every right to be in a novel. Overloading can destroy tension and make for a laboured narrative, but a purposeful peppering can amplify character emotion, moderate rhythm, and make space for the introduction of big themes in small spaces without sensory clutter. Cited works and further reading
About Louise HarnbyLouise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers. She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Are you confused about when to add commas before coordinating conjunctions linking independent clauses? This post offers guidance and a few examples to show you the way.
Rules, convention and meaning
Some writers and editors love a rule. I’m not so keen on the language of ‘rules’ because it sets up a binary mindset that’s focused on ‘wrong’ versus ‘right’ rather than clarity of meaning. Instead, I prefer to think in terms of convention.
Grammatical conventions are useful and purposeful. They provide us with a common frame of reference that helps us communicate clearly through the written word. We can start by at least acknowledging the following:
Balancing convention and meaning
Writing and editing fiction requires deciding when to break with convention. But how do we work out what works and what doesn’t? Here’s how I frame the balancing act:
Punctuation should serve meaning as long as that doesn’t butcher rhythm. Rhythm should serve emotion as long as that doesn’t butcher understanding. Both should serve the reader and the story rather than the style manual and the grammar book. So how does that apply to commas, coordinating conjunctions and independent clauses? What are coordinating conjunctions?
Coordinating conjunctions are words that join other words or groups of words of equal weight. You might see them referred to in short as FANBOYS:
F = for A = and N = nor B = but O = or Y = yet S = so What are independent clauses?
Independent clauses are groups of words that can stand as a sentence on their own and still make sense. They include a subject and a predicate.
Subjects are people/things that are doing something or being something – the noun (the thing) and the adjectival information describing that noun. The four examples given below are all subjects.
Predicates are what they’re doing – the verb (the doing word) and the thing the verb’s acting on. The four examples below are all predicates.
Joining subjects and predicates gives us independent clauses. Here are two simple examples (subject in bold; predicate underlined).
The comma convention
If two or more independent clauses in a sentence are joined by a coordinating conjunction, it’s conventional to place a comma before that conjunction.
EXAMPLE AND EVALUATION #1 In the following example, the independent clauses are in bold.
The independent clauses could stand on their own as complete sentences and be understood perfectly well. Let’s revisit our balancing act and assess the impact of the comma.
The degree to which the comma serves meaning here is, I think, debatable. This is what it looks like without the comma:
There’s no ambiguity there, and so one could argue that insisting on a comma would be grammatical pedantry. An editor would struggle to justify adding a comma for any other reason than ‘that’s the rule’ or 'I think it looks better' because the meaning is perfectly clear.
Could someone argue that the comma enforces the equal weighting of the independent clauses lying either side of the coordinating conjunction? Yes in that it acts as a separator of two ideas: the dog’s colour and what it’s doing to its paws; the one isn't related to the other. And so I certainly wouldn’t remove it if it were already in place; there’s no justification for such an action. MORE COMPLEX CONSTRUCTIONS Many sentences in fiction are more complex. If our example looked like this, we might have a sounder justification for adding the comma:
She stops in the doorway and holds her breath. She’s found it. The dog is pale yellow and it's licking its paws and nipping at the bloodied fur around the wound.
In the revised example below, I think applying the conventional punctuation helps. The rhythm is moderated – we take a little breath when we reach the comma – and experience (through our viewpoint character’s eyes) first the colour of the dog and then what it’s doing and why.
The two ideas have a starker separation, and the punctuation convention supports that meaning.
She stops in the doorway and holds her breath. She’s found it. The dog is pale yellow, and it's licking its paws and nipping at the bloodied fur around the wound.
EXAMPLE AND EVALUATION #2
Here’s an excerpt from Robert Ludlum’s The Janson Directive (Orion, 2003, p. 355). Once more, both independent clauses are in bold.
The independent clauses could stand on their own as complete sentences and be understood perfectly well. Again, let’s revisit our balancing act and assess the impact of the comma.
I think the comma serves meaning and is necessary. Without it, we might start to read the sentence as if the slug would shatter not just a skull but another life too. That’s not what Ludlum is saying. Instead, we’re alerted that another idea is coming into play. A trip-up here means the reader would have to fix the grammar in their head and reread the sentence to make sense of it. That’s a momentary distraction no writer wants. Breaking with convention in fiction
Let’s have a look at when we might ignore grammatical convention.
Below is a short scene I’ve made up. Our protagonist is a forty-year-old woman having a nightmare about a past event.
There are three independent clauses (and the start of a fourth) linked by a coordinating conjunction. The ‘rule’ says there should be a comma before all those ‘and’s. EVALUATION A pro fiction editor would want to think twice before they start adding in commas because of some rule or other.
Using anaphora doesn’t mean we have to ignore commas, far from it. But what would introducing them do to rhythm and mood? I think the lack of commas helps us to feel our way under the skin of that dream-child because young children in a panic don’t introduce pauses or moderate their speech according to a style manual or a grammar guide. Instead, words fly from their mouths like tiny storms. What we have instead is the sense of terrified disorientation being experienced by the dreamer, one that’s shown rather than told. Commas would moderate the pace and separate the ideas contained in each independent clause; omitting them means we’re offered a stream of terrified consciousness. More exceptions
Some grammarians do allow for an exception when the independent clauses are short and closely related.
In the examples that follow, the coordinating conjunctions are underlined; notice the absence of the preceding comma. Sense isn’t marred because of the missing punctuation.
It’s an eminently sensible exception – one that allows for decluttering but also avoids a separation of ideas that isn’t appropriate.
Summing up
The grammatical convention of placing a comma before a coordinating conjunction linking independent clauses is helpful and useful. However, sometimes we can omit those commas:
Style and grammar resources offer guidance, and we should use them, but only in so far as they serve the reader and the story, not because we are rule enforcers. That’s nothing more than a road to literary butchery.
More resources to help you line edit with confidence
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
This post helps less experienced fiction writers and editors make sense of omniscient point of view, and work with this narrative style effectively.
What is narrative point of view?
Point of view (POV) describes whose head we’re in when we read a book ... from whose perspective we discover what’s going on – and the smells, sounds, sights and emotions involved.
What is an omniscient point of view?
This viewpoint is probably the trickiest to master. Omniscient means all-knowing. It’s the most flexible because it gives the reader potential access to every character’s external and internal experiences. It also has the potential to be the least intimate if not handled well.
Imagine a futuristic news helicopter. Inside, our roving reporter shifts her camera from one person to another, and one setting to another. She’s also got some serious kit, stuff that enables her to tap everyone’s phones, TVs and computers. But that’s not all; the characters’ brains are bugged too; our reporter knows what they’re thinking. She can see, hear and smell it all! Says Sophie Playle:
Examples: Deeper knowledge than third-person narration
If you’ve read anything by Neil Gaiman, you’ll see a blatant external narrator in evidence with a depth of knowledge that defies the rules of a third-person viewpoint. Here’s an example from Neverwhere (p. 10).
The first ten words might appear to be a third-person viewpoint (‘He’ refers to Richard, the protagonist), but that’s not the case. What follows is a distinct narrative other, a voice that explains ‘white knowledge’.
In the second and third paragraphs, the all-knowing narrator offers historical information. Then in the final paragraph, we’re told more about Richard. The viewpoint was never third-person objective. It was omniscient all along. In Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, ‘the man’ takes centre stage in most of the sections such that we see what he sees and feel what he feels. It’s almost as if he’s the narrator, and once more we could be forgiven for thinking the viewpoint third person. But there’s more going on here. In the following extracts, notice the shift beyond what it’s possible for the man to see, think or know.
In the first extract, only an all-knowing alternative narrator could be privy to the intent behind the marchers’ colour choice of scarves. In the second, the man watches the army, but it’s only an omniscient narrator who can know where their blades were forged and how the boy is feeling. Maybe that narrator is McCarthy; maybe it’s someone else. But it’s not the man.
Example: World-building backstory in a flash
Some genres – science fiction and fantasy for example – lend themselves well to omniscient narrators because they can provide critical world-building backstory quickly. Terry Pratchett’s Wyrd Sisters provides a fine example (pp. 1–2).
What omniscient is not
An omniscient viewpoint can be powerful but it needs to be controlled and used with purpose. If we’re accessing one character’s thoughts and experiences, and we jump to another character’s viewpoint, it can jar the reader. That's called head-hopping.
Imagine you’re listening to your best friend tell you about a difficult experience. Even though it didn’t happen to you, her description of the event helps you to imagine the challenges she faced, the emotions she grappled with. You’re thoroughly immersed and emotionally connected. Then someone else barges up to you both and tells you what it was like for them. Your friend butts back in to wrestle the telling back to her. Would the interruption annoy and frustrate you? Would you feel like your efforts to invest in your friend’s story were being thwarted? The impact is the same when it occurs in a book’s narrative (though not the dialogue, of course). That viewpoint ping pong is not omniscient POV. It’s third-person limited gone awry. Recommendation
I recommend caution. The beauty of fiction often lies in the unveiling, in the immersion. Overuse of an omniscient narrator can block this.
The all-seeing eye can be a powerful tool – as demonstrated by the examples above – but less experienced authors, particularly those writing commercial fiction such as thrillers and mysteries, risk accidental head-hopping, which will destroy the tension and distance the reader from the characters. Cited works and related reading
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Not sure where to place your speech tags? This guide shows you how to tell readers who’s speaking, not based on a set of rules but in respect of clarity, suspense, invisibility, and rhythm.
What is a dialogue tag?
Dialogue tags, or speech tags, are complementary short phrases that tell the reader who’s talking. They’re not always necessary, particularly if there are only two speakers in a scene, but when they are used, this is what they look like:
Said is often best because readers are so used to seeing it that it’s pretty much invisible and therefore less interruptive. What’s the rule about where tags go?
Dialogue tags can be placed after, between or before dialogue. Authors sometimes ask which position is best or whether there’s a rule.
There is no rule. All three positions have advantages and disadvantages, depending on what you want to achieve. Position: After dialogue
Readers are so used to seeing speech tags like said at the end of dialogue that they’re almost invisible. That allows the dialogue, rather than the speaking of the dialogue, to be the focus.
Below is a wee example from Recursion (p. 292). The speech takes centre stage; the doing of speech (screaming, in this case) comes afterwards.
Furthermore, when the tag comes after the dialogue, it can roll seamlessly into any supporting narrative, as shown in the example from The Ghost Fields (p. 194).
There are a couple of potential disadvantages:
Position: Between dialogue
Placing speech tags between dialogue is also common and unlikely to jar the reader. Here are three reasons why it works:
Here are two examples in which the mid placement of the tag means the suspense isn't interfered with. The first is taken from The Ghost Fields (p. 194); the second is something I made up.
In the first example, not having the speech tag at the end of the dialogue focuses the reader on one question: what’s the clue? Not: Frank’s the speaker.
In the second example, rejig the sentence so that Tom said comes after all the speech, and notice how this makes the wallop vanish from the line about pulling the trigger. Position: Before dialogue
Placement of the tag before the dialogue isn’t a no-no but it is a less common option and more noticeable.
A tag tells of speaking; dialogue shows character voice, mood and intention. When the speaker’s announced first, it’s a tap on the shoulder that draws attention to speaking being done. It expands what author and creative-writing expert Emma Darwin calls the ‘psychic distance’ between the reader and the speaker, which can flatten the mood. And, yet, this can also be its advantage. That tap introduces a more staccato rhythm that can stop a reader in their tracks. In this extract from Recursion (p. 292), the placement of the tag before the dialogue induces an acute sense of resignation – that dull thump in the pit of one’s stomach when the proverbial’s hit the fan.
Not placing tags: Omission
There’s no need to include a speech tag if it’s adding nothing but clutter. In the following example from Recursion (p. 125), the author has omitted them because there are only two speakers. He lets the dialogue, and its punctuation, inject the voice, mood and intention into the scene rather than telling us who’s speaking and how they’re saying it.
Summing up
Placement of dialogue tags isn’t about rules. It’s about purpose:
For that reason, mixing up the position of speech tags can be effective. Let’s end with an extract from Out of Sight (pp. 135–7), which demonstrates the varied ways in which author Elmore Leonard handles his tagging: beginning, between, end, and omission.
Cited works and further reading
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Not sure what a second-person narrative point of view is, or how to use it effectively in your fiction writing? This post shows you how it works in a novel.
What is narrative point of view?
Point of view (POV) describes whose head we’re in when we read a book ... from whose perspective we discover what’s going on – and the smells, sounds, sights and emotions involved.
There can be multiple viewpoints in a book, not all of which have to belong to a single character. Plus, editors’ and authors’ opinions differ as to which approach works best, and what jars and why. My aim is to keep the guidance as straightforward as possible, not because I think you should only do it this way or that way, but because most people (myself included) handle complexity best when they start with the foundations. Second-person narrative viewpoint
In second-person narrative POVs, the pronoun is ‘you’. This narration is intimate, but strangely so, as if the author is talking directly to the reader as a character.
That intrusive element is both its strength and its weakness. It’s powerful because it places readers at the heart of the story, and yet we – the ‘you’ – know less than the narrator. That can create a sense of immediacy, but almost amnesiac dislocation. We have to discover what we think, see, know and do. And if we don’t identify with the ‘you’ – if we feel implicated rather than attached – we can be pulled out of the story rather than brought deeper into it. Still, this controlling aspect of second person can have an advantage. Whereas first-person narrators tell you what they thought and did, second-person narrators tell us what we thought and did. This witnessing adds a level of reliability (even if we don’t like it). And readers aren’t daft. They know they’re not really the you-character, which means authors could use it as a tool to create surprise when the ‘you’ is unveiled later in the book. If you want your readers to feel connected but controlled, second-person POV might be just the ticket, but it’s difficult to pull off and rare that authors of contemporary commercial fiction write an entire novel in it (though check out Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by Tom Robbins if you want to see a good example in action). More likely, you’ll see shorter-form use: dedicated chapters or other narrative forms such as diary entries, letters or other missives. Example: Curiosity, reliability and the complicit reader
In this example from Complicity (p. 9), Iain Banks uses the second-person viewpoint in which a narrator reports on the actions and thoughts of an unnamed serial killer addressed as ‘you’.
Think about how you feel as you read this. It’s as if you’re being addressed, as if you’re complicit. At the very least, the prose arouses curiosity – who is this ‘you’, and how is it that the narrator knows so much about them?
Banks doesn’t present the novel fully in second person; these sections fall between those of a first-person viewpoint character, journalist Cameron Colley. As such, readers are confronted by a juxtaposition of Cameron’s version of events and what was witnessed by the narrator. Recommendation
By all means, experiment with second-person point of view but understand its implications. If you want to draw your reader into the heart of your story, it’s a good choice. However, that connection can come at a price – a lack of control that could alienate your audience.
For that reason, consider the purpose of this narrative style and the extent to which you employ it. It might be better constrained – limited to chapters inhabited by specific viewpoint characters. If in doubt, rewrite your scene in an alternative narrative viewpoint so you can evaluate how this affects your perception of the story as a reader. Cited sources and related reading
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
This post explains when and how to indent your narrative and dialogue according to publishing-industry convention.
The purpose of first-line indents
Each new paragraph signifies a change or shift of some sort ... perhaps a new idea, piece of action, thought or speaker, even a moderation or acceleration of pace. Still, the prose in all those paragraphs within a section is connected.
Paragraph indents have two purposes in fiction:
First lines in chapters and new sections
Chapters and sections are bigger shifts: perhaps the viewpoint character changes, or there's a shift in timeline or location.
To mark this bigger shift in a novel, it’s conventional not to indent the first line of text in a new chapter or a new section. You might hear editorial folks refer to this non-indented text as full out.
NARRATIVE LAYOUT The following example is taken from Part 5, Chapter 2, of Christopher Priest’s Inverted World (p. 287, 2010):
And here's an example from Part 2, Chapter 6, p. 147, which shows how the layout works the same after a section break:
Even if an author chooses to include a design feature such as a dropped capital (sometimes called a drop cap), it's standard for that letter to be full out, as shown in the following example from To Kill a Devil (John A. Connell, p. 6, Nailhead Publishing, 2020):
DIALOGUE LAYOUT
The same applies even if the chapter or section starts with dialogue, as in this excerpt from David Rosenfelt's Dog Tags (p. 192, Grand Central, 2010):
Body text: dialogue and narrative
The example below from Blake Crouch's Recursion (p. 4, Macmillan, 2019) shows how the indentation works in the body text when there's a mixture of dialogue and narrative.
IMPACT OF LINE SPACING
Even if you've elected to set your book file with double line spacing (perhaps at the request of a publisher, agent or editor), the indentation convention applies. Here's the Recursion example again, tweaked to show what it would look like:
Indenting text that follows special elements
Your novel might include special elements such as letters, texts, reports, lists or newspaper articles. Authors can choose to set off these elements with wider line spacing, but how do we handle the text that comes after?
Again, it's conventional to indent text that follows this content, regardless of whether it's narrative or dialogue. That's because of the connective function; the text is part of the same scene. Here are some examples from commercial fiction pulled from my bookshelves.
It's not the case that full-out text is never used, or can't be used, but fiction readers are used to conventions. When a paragraph isn't indented, they assume it's a new section, which creates a tiny disconnect.
That's what I think's happened in the example below from Kate Hamer's The Girl in the Red Coat (p. 325, Faber & Faber, 2015). Of course, it took me only a split second to work out that the narrator is referring to the preceding letter, but it's a split second that took me away from the story because I'd assumed I was looking at a section break. My preference would be to indent 'I touch my finger [...]' because that text is part of the scene, not a new section. 
How to create a first-line indent in Word
Let's finish with some quick guidance on creating first-line indents.
Avoid using spaces and tabs to create indents in Word. Instead, create proper indents. There are several ways to do this.
OR
Create a new style for your full-out paragraphs using the same tools.
Free webinar
If you need more assistance with creating styles, watch this free webinar. There's no sign-up; just click on the button and dig in.
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Non-viewpoint characters have emotions too. But how do we show them without head-hopping? The answer lies in mastering observable behaviour.
What is head-hopping?
When a reader can access the internal experiences (emotions, thoughts, memories) of more than one character in a chapter or section, head-hopping is usually in play.
The exception is if you’re tackling the tricky beast that is omniscient narration. It’s difficult to pull off and rarely used in contemporary commercial fiction. Here’s an example of what head-hopping looks like on the page. Jack is the viewpoint character and the narration style is third-person limited.
Notice the following:
How to enter a non-viewpoint character’s space without dropping viewpoint
There will be times when you want your reader to enter the emotional and physical space of a non-viewpoint character.
Mastering observable behaviour – showing us what the viewpoint character can see, and their interpretation of that behaviour – is one solution that will enable you to hold viewpoint. Here’s a recast of the Jack/Pete scene:
Notice the following:
Mastering observation
Mastering observation enables writers to retain viewpoint but not be restricted by it. Think about how non-viewpoint characters will move in a way that reflects their internal experience, or what they will look like. Here are a few examples:
Example 1 What the non-viewpoint character feels but cannot be told because we’re not in their head:
Example 2 What the non-viewpoint character feels but cannot be told because we’re not in their head:
Example 3 What the non-viewpoint character feels but cannot be told because we’re not in their head:
Example 4 What the non-viewpoint character feels but cannot be told because we’re not in their head:
Example 5 What the non-viewpoint character feels but cannot be told because we’re not in their head:
Summing up
If you’re writing in a third-person limited narration style, consider what the viewpoint character already knows, what they can observe in relation to a non-viewpoint character, and what they could infer from those observations. That will determine what they can report.
What they report can still allow readers to access the internal experience of the non-viewpoint character through a back door. And while that report will be biased, it will be immersive. About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Himself, herself, myself, themself ... check the usage of pronouns in your fiction. You might just be overworking them, such that you’re stating the obvious, modifying the pace, and reducing tension.
How reflexive pronouns affect a sentence
Reflexive pronouns can act as double tells by stating the obvious, and mar pace and tension.
Stating the obvious
When it comes to internal musings, authors can ditch the reflexive pronouns. Thoughts take place inside a person’s head and, by definition, are offered only for the thinker – unless there’s telepathy going on in the novel! Moderating pace and reducing tension
These are high-tension scenes. Max is in a shoot-out; Ali’s escaping danger. Every word stretches out the sentence. And as the sentence length loosens, so does the tension. Look what happens when we remove the pronouns:
The sentences shorten, the pace increases – and so does the tension. Usage that works
We shouldn’t omit all -self pronouns. There are occasions when a sentence works better with them. Sometimes they’re essential.
Clarity In some cases, the pronoun is necessary for clarity. The reader can’t be sure of what the verb’s object is without it. In the examples below, removing the pronouns could leave the reader with questions: Ashamed of what? A promise to whom? Stop what? Consider whom an expert?
Emphasis The pronoun can be used to emphasize the person being discussed. Omission would leave the sentence grammatically intact but change the mood and pacing. In this case, it’s a judgement call on the author’s part.
Sense Some sentences don’t make grammatical sense without a reflexive pronoun. Remove them and the writing leaves more than questions: it’s unreadable.
Reflexive pronouns: mood versus clutter
At the top of this post, I offered examples of how -self pronouns can reduce tension. There will be occasions when an author wants to do exactly that.
There’s a more staccato feel to the second version above that might jar if the author’s seeking a contemplative mood. Still, too much self-ing can make even a stress-free scene overly wordy so it’s always worth thinking about whether a leaner version would be more immersive and get the reader from A to B faster. In the first version of the triplets that follow, the pronouns introduce a chilled-out sense of laissez-faire to the movement. In the second I’ve omitted them. And in the third, I’ve ditched the mundane movement and focused on the essential beat.
It’s always worth an author spending a little time on thinking about how much micromanagement of a scene is necessary. Will the reader care about the chair discovery, or that Maxie had a hot drink while they were reading the letter, or that the protagonist was no longer on the sofa when she called Mel? Perhaps. If that stuff’s central to driving the novel forward, to reflecting mood, to grounding the character in the environment, the pronoun and the stage direction might be necessary. If it’s clutter that can be removed without damaging reader engagement, lean up the scene! Summing up
Use reflexive pronouns when they’re necessary for clarity, sense and emphasis. Otherwise, consider leaner prose that focuses on what the reader needs to know to move forward in the story.
About Louise Harnby
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
Want to mark up greyscale and colour PDFs digitally? My upgraded BSI-compliant stamps now have fully transparent backgrounds and are completely free to download.
Why I amended the stamps
Many of my colleagues have been using these PDF proofreading stamps for years. And they worked fine as long as the markup area was white.
However, when it came to annotating tinted elements, the markup looked messy. That's because when I created the stamps back in 2012 – all 113 of them – I took design shortcuts that meant some stamps didn’t have transparent backgrounds. I knew some of the stamps weren’t perfect but creating three sets had been backbreaking work and, if I'm honest, I couldn’t face returning to the project and redrawing them. Eight years on, I decided to review the position. And, in fact, amending the problem stamps turned out to be not nearly as onerous a task as I’d expected. What the new stamps look like
Below is a mock-up to show you the improvements. All the stamps now have transparent backgrounds, which means you can place them anywhere on the PDF page regardless of whether you’re marking up on white space, tinted boxes or photographs.
Advantages of using stamps
If you're happy with your PDF editor's onboard annotation tools, great; carry on using them.
However, some proofreaders choose to add these stamps to their editing toolbox for the following reasons:
Click on the button below to access the updated stamps. They come in red, blue and black, and can be with with Windows and Mac OS. About Louise
Louise Harnby is a line editor, copyeditor and proofreader who specializes in working with crime, mystery, suspense and thriller writers.
She is an Advanced Professional Member of the Chartered Institute of Editing and Proofreading (CIEP) and co-hosts The Editing Podcast.
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